Did I over-react?

[InsertNameHere]

So lately with my girlfriend of 6 months, it seems like I am always making the plans with her to do anything. I always ask her to chill and whatnot, and if I don't call her she usually chills with a couple of her close guy friends. Last night she went over to her one guys friend house after she got off work, and I got mad because she didn't call me to ask me to chill. It seems like if I don't call her, she will just go off with other guys. Was I out of line for being mad at her for going to some other guys house to chill with him? She hangs out with him alot, but she assures me they are just friends. But sometimes I wonder..

[princessdi75]

You need to tell her how you feel. You deserve to be treated better, especially after 6 months of being together. My boyfriend is extremely jealous of other guys and I always tell him every last detail of the situation if it involves a guy. I don't want him to get the wrong impression. He knows i would never cheat on him, but I don't want him to have any questionable feelings. I think it's a matter of respect, and love, to tell my boyfriend that I was hanging out with a guy. If an ex of mine would ever call me to hang out I would ask permission first from my boyfriend. My boyfriend is more important than any one, and I'd rather not hang out with an old friend than place him in an uncomfortable situation.

[Relationship Coach]

Six months is a long time to wonder isn't it? It seems to me you need to express yourself more clearly but calmly to her. Many women have friends that are men and you have to adapt to that, if you can't then move on. Have you met this guy? After six months I would think that you would know the majority of her friends as well as her knowing yours. Not having set plans, I really don't think she was out of line. Communication is important as is understanding friendships which came before you.

 

RC

[arwen]

Hey insert,

 

I think two things could be the case here, and as Diana suggested, you need to talk to her either way.

 

First, she might be giving signals that she's not that into the relationship anymore.

 

Second, she might be into the relationship but feel anxious to tell her all her plans and need more freedom. I know I used to be quite clingy in the past and my bf of that time would also avoid telling me stuff in order to avoid yet another drama.

 

You need to talk to her. If she's not willing to change or explain, this might be a reason to call it quits. If you're not happy, there is no use in staying in that relationship.

 

Ilse

[InsertNameHere]

We did talk, and she gave me the whole "I love you and want to be with you and no one else" talk. But she always says she wants to be with me, yet she goes off with her guy friends when she has free time. Sometimes I just wish she would want to see me in her free time, instead of willingly going over to her friends house whereas I always have to call her over..

[arwen]

So, nothing changed after this talk. The thing is, you don't want to lose her. So that might hold you back in expressing what you really want. My guess is, excuse me if I am wrong, that you had 'the talk', but you merely asked her how she felt about the relationship. And the point of your post is... how YOU feel about the relationship. Is this enough for you to build a relationship on? You clearly need more from her, and don't get that from her.

 

Actions speak louder than words, dude. Really.

 

Ilse

[InsertNameHere]

Yeah I know. But it seems like in her eyes she really does want to try to make it work... but maybe I'm just blinded by the light