Changing your phone number

[PutYourBackIntoIt]

So my bf and I were having problems. We got into a huge argument which was my fault. I apologized, but he wasn't having it. He told me he never cared about me, it was just sex, we weren't meant to be, that I was possessive. (Which was odd, I always gave him space, and he was the one always keeping tabs on me and thinking I was cheating) He said he didn't want a gf, he just wants to bang chicks..yadda yadda. It makes no sense, his actions spoke louder than his words. Do you think he meant what he said? After the argument I felt him pulling away, and I tried for 3 days to patch things up. He told me I was annoying (I called once a day in this 3 day time span), that I was clingy (never called him during our relationship, he always called me), and that I was acting like an 18 year old. I feel that he was projecting how he acts on me to make himself feel better but whatever. I finally realized it was over, and things were not going to work themselves out. The last conversation wasn't ended badly, but I just gave up. "I changed my cell phone number. Was this a drastic move? I mostly did it so I wouldn't drive myself crazy waiting by the phone, waiting for him to text call. And surprisingly, I have not cried once since getting it changed. I'm figuring he's tried to call since. I'm wondering, if you were him in this situation, how would you feel if the girl/guy you were seeing changed their number? I'm afraid that I may have hurt him by changing my phone number and I kind of feel bad. I'm also wondering if I should have just given him a couple days to cool off. Did I make a smart move?

[annie24]

Hmmm.... if a guy changed his number and didn't bother to tell me, i would just say to myself, 'Ok - he's telling me he never wants to talk to me again. Alrighty! I won't call him ever again." Then I'd try to move on as fast as I can.

 

My pride wouldn't let me call his best friends or call him at work to continue talking to him.

 

But... that's just me.

[puppy]

hi

 

Personally I think is a smart move, even though you have some doubt. Believe me, if he wanted to patch things together again, he can simply go and visit you at home or email you, right?

 

So, I support your decision and stick with it.

 

Good luck!

 

Woof woof

[PutYourBackIntoIt]

I doubt he will show up at my house or call me at work..anything like that. Well, I hope he doesn't anyway. I kind of feel bad, and I know I shouldn't. He was not a good boyfriend at all. Even when he was on his best behavior, he was an A&*^&$%. I never want to talk to him again, not that I hate him, just that it really serves no purpose to me, and I'm terribly sick of all the mind games he would play. (And he would accuse me of playing games, the nerve!) I'm glad I can get the reinforcement here, having comfort in knowing I did the right thing.

[puppy]

hi

 

In the case, you don't have to feel guilty of changing your phone number. I guess probably you felt uncomfortable at the beginning of the changes, which is usual. So I wouldn't worry too much.

 

Woof woof

[annie24]

I doubt he will show up at my house or call me at work..anything like that. Well, I hope he doesn't anyway. I kind of feel bad, and I know I shouldn't. He was not a good boyfriend at all. Even when he was on his best behavior, he was an A&*^&$%. I never want to talk to him again, not that I hate him, just that it really serves no purpose to me, and I'm terribly sick of all the mind games he would play. (And he would accuse me of playing games, the nerve!) I'm glad I can get the reinforcement here, having comfort in knowing I did the right thing.

 

Yuck! Who needs a bad boyfriend? Life is filled with pain - death, cancer, taxes, why do you need more? Blah.

 

I think you did the right thing. I bet there are better men in your future

[Itsok]

I'm basically calling out for all the dumpers out there. I need to find the courage to break it off with my guy. I love him, but I know it is not going to work out, and I know he will break my heart.

 

You called that one hun. You wrote this not long ago.

 

He is not stable, he is not a good person, and he sure as hell isn't the one for you.

 

In all honesty, you give off a lot of vibes that he has been abusive to you. I don't want to pry, but if you've been emotionally or physically abused, you need to see a counselor to help you through. If he has abused you, you are 'brainwashed' and need help sorting things out.

 

I have a bad feeling for you that he will be back...don't take him back. You know yourself this isn't right...you've had that nagging feeling for some time now, and you know it's time to move forward.

 

You have made the right choice. Have no doubts.

[Mstyiyd]

I think you did the right thing. Right now you're very hurt, angry, confused, all the emotions. Been there. But a time will come when u get sad or reminisce about the good times you had or think you had......and you're going to doubt your decision. That will be normal. What u shouldn't do is change it back to your old number (the one he knew).....partly bec it will be inconvenient and partly because it will make u question every future decision you make regarding him.

 

Point blank: He is not stable, not caring, selfish, emotionally abusive. He does not care about your feelings or who you are as a person. It is all about him, and he pretty much told you that. I know it hurts to hear it like that, but it's true. Your ex sounds like he has alot of similar traits to mine. He will most likely track you down somehow, whether thru a friend, family member, where you live, or where you work. Alot of it will be curiosity, he probably will figure out u changed your # because of him. They do crap like this: and he will justify his behavior and/or blame you even in a nice way for things. But trust me-----he'll be coming to find you to talk, sooner or later. Especially when it doesn't work out for a minute w/some other chick, or for comfort. People learn early on what they can get away with with another person. Mine sure did with me.

 

Good luck, stay strong, take it day by day and surround yourself with healthy friends and family you can trust as you go thru your journey.

[PutYourBackIntoIt]

Thanks guys. I feel so much better. I always thought in the back of my mind that he had the capability of being abusive, but then I wrote it off as him being insecure. And the last time we talked he kept reiterating how he did not care about me, did not care if I was sleeping with someone else, when a week prior he was so concerned that I was seeing anyone else. I hope he really doesn't care, because I don't want him coming around, showing up places, etc. THe mind games were pure torture, and I can see now that that was a form of abuse. THe weird thing is that I have not cried once. We broke up last year and I was devastated, couldn't get out of bed for a week. And now I'm actually relieved! Thanks for all your help guys, I feel much better knowing I did a good thing.