Wow.. never thought i'd be here... need help!

[SuperDuper]

Hey, please read this and give me your input .. even if it's minute.

 

See... Most of you know the story of my ex and I.. and we still have a very sturdy friendship.. but it feels like that's not enough sometimes, and I feel like I want to be her boyfriend.

 

I dated this other girl "D"... for a few months during Sept - Nov 2005.

I ended up ending it with her because I wasn't ready for another relationship since the breakup with my ex... "K".

 

Anyways, I emailed D the other night and told her that I miss that we don't talk very much anymore and suggested we hanging out a littl more, and start up again.

 

Tonight she told me she still likes me and just doesn't want to get hurt.. but is willing to try again.

 

Anyways - right now I feel completely fine being single.. but I think it's only because I *know* that I could be with someone (D).

though - in the back of my mind.. I feel that "K" is slowly starting to like me or something.. because she REALLY wanted my family to go to cuba with her family, and got me to ask mom and stuff.. and just when we talk at school. she just seems to cherish the times we talk a lot more now.

 

I feel that I might lose a chance with D... but I don't want her to string her along as I try to win "K" over. It isn't fair, and I'm not like that, never have been.

 

I feel like I want to express to K that I like her and want to know if she's interested in starting anything or just sees us being friends forever... if she says friends, I am going to tell her that I can't only be friends with her.

 

I know that if K told me she had no intention of getting back with me again, I would be able to move on, and proably maintain a healthy relationship with D.

 

Though I feel I can't start anything with D yet, since I have this undeniable attraction for K...

 

What should I do?

 

 

 

PS- we have a dance tomorrow night, and BOTH girls will be there.. probably expecting a dance each.. what should I do? How should I react?

[SuperDuper]

Man.. i'm stupid.

 

I jsut found out she went to her ex boyfriends house friday night.. and went to a movie, and made out and stuff at his house.

 

It hurts for some reason..

 

God..I can't let her bring me down. At all.

[arwen]

Who, K? I think you shouldn't form a relationship with D anyway. She is second choice, which is no basis for a relationship I think. If you would, I suggest you really date D before you think about a commitment. Make sure you and her are on the same page.

 

Ilse

[SuperDuper]

You're right.

 

I am not the person who can fake my soul into being devoted to someone, if i'm truly "not there".

 

I really admirred D's honesty tongiht, and she told me straight up that she still likes me.. and just doesn't want to be hurt again.

 

I want to let us naturally progress..

The onyl flaw is that she goes to a different school, and we have different sets of friends, though we do share about 5 mutual friends or so.

 

She lives about 7 minutes away in a car, so it's not that bad.

 

I was just blinded by my ex.. and D shouldn't have been affected by that. She deserves this.

[Relationship Coach]

SD,

 

You've basically figured this one out on your own. "K" has no sense of commitment right now and a friendship could just expose you to more heartache and frustration than needed. "D" is the innocent victim here and she certainly deserves 100% honesty from you as well. The bottom line is you can't steal 2nd base ("D") when your left foot is still on first base ("K"). "U" need to be 100% over "K" before attempting to move on to be A,B,C or D. The important thing is for you to understand that "K" is not the person who you need. As difficult as it might be you need to back away from "K" and her family. You should probably just take things slow and only commit to one person when you have only one option. Having a stand by will always keep you from going all in. Good Luck.

 

RC