SuperDave, I need your great advice, man...

[solo34]

Hello everyone. My ex girlfriend left me back in October, right before Thanksgiving and told me that she doesn't want 2 be with anyone at this point, and that she really just needs 2 be alone. I understood this, but it still hurt me. Well, all the advice on things NOT 2 DO that SuperDave has told us, I did them....I wrote her, text her, called her, etc; etc. But before I stumbled upon this site, I myself started the no contact. As a matter of fact, the last time I attempted contact was January 4th. Well, last night, my good friend who is also her cousin called me up and told me that she has a new boyfriend in her life. Before hearing from him, I already thought 2 myself that she had a man, because of her actions. She changed her cell number, never responded 2 me, didn't call or anything...and I mean not at any point after the breakup.

 

Keep in mind everyone that I did NOTHING wrong 2 her at all. I think that she met someone and just wanted 2 give this person a shot at being with her, but she was telling me that she needed time and that she didn't need ANYONE in her life at this point in time. It's hard when U truly LOVE someone, but they don't seem 2 know or understand this. I mean, I've been reading all these people's posts that have their ex's call them up after month's of absolutely NO CONTACT after realizing who they lost, and they want them back. I also read about your experiences SuperDave, how your ex didn't talk with U 4 months and fell 4 someone else but got her heart shattered.

 

I just don't know really what 2 do about this. I have asked other women out, but they all seem 2 have boyfriends. It's not that I have given up, it's just hard when U still love someone the way that I love her. I mean, I need some advice. I will NOT attempt any contact whatsoever. I haven't since the 4th of January, and I won't. The ball is in her court, and I truly believe that once the "honeymoon" phase is over, that she will realize who and what I really am/was. I just need some words of encouragement and support...just another person's outlook on the situation.

 

Thank U 2 all that respond 2 my post...I deeply appreciate ALL responses.

 

-Solo34

[curlygirl47]

Most of us are in your shoes. I did NC for about two weeks, and the ex started showing interest again, but then he was up and down, so I did NC for about five days, then broke it, and ended up breaking off with him on my terms. I've started NC again today. It's hellish in a way, and a relief in a way. Just know that we are here with you, and when those old missing her feelings come around, get on here and write about it. I feel like I won't ever love again, and I'm not interested in other guys, so I know how you feel. Let's just keep talking and see what happens. I generally try to go out for a little while every day, just hang out at a bar or go to a movie --- but I am spending a lot of time alone --- too much, really, lying around in the bed feeling sorry for myself. I guess that's just part of it.

 

Happy Valentine's Day from another broken heart, and hang in there.

[solo34]

Thank U CurlyGirl...I've been without her going on 5mths, and doin' the whole NC since the 4th of January. Sucks 2 know that she's got a new man in her life, and probably had him since we broke up. But thanks 4 the support, as well, I know EXACTLY how U feel. Thanks again....

 

-Solo34

[SuperDave71]

Solo34,

 

 

Hey bud. Sorry for your heartache but I want you to listen for a second ok. Your ex told you she didn't want to see anyone right? You begged, texted, etc ect ( we have ALL been there ). It does't matter if you were a saint to her, if you were not what she wanted you weren't what she wanted. It's like buying a pair of jeans that were perfect but you didn't like the pockets. What do you do, you take it back. What did the jeans do to you? Eeee gad! I know you are hurting over your ex but ya know...HOW many people ALWAYS think the grass is always greener? Almost all of them never are....My advice is to stick with NC and stop putting value in what she thinks or doesn't think of you. Hold your head up and walk tall....you are who you are and she fell in love with you for it. Stay stong and try not to waste your valuable time worrying about her....

 

 

Your Friend,

 

 

SuperDave71

[solo34]

Wow, thank U SuperDave. So you're telling me that while she thinks the grass may be greener, often times it isn't? You're right 2, she did fall in love with who and what I am, so I have 2 remember this. I will definitely keep the NC going, there is NO WAY that I am going 2 give in 2 that. It just hurts with her saying that she isn't trying 2 be with anyone, yet I find out that she has a new man in her life. Just makes me think he was there all along(since the breakup). Thanks, and I value your words of wisdom very much. Still need your help and others, I'm just really confused. Thank U Super and everyone else.

 

-Solo34

[SuperDave71]

Solo34,

 

 

Hang in there man....remember....Just because she isn't into you..DOESN'T EVER MEAN that someone won't be in the future.

 

Stay Stong man!!

 

 

 

-SuperDave71

[solo34]

Oh, Super, I guess that I should've told U that we were 2gether 4 2 1/2 yrs. I hope that U don't think that it was a quick little "romance" or something. But again, thanks 4 the input. Hope I cleared up the confusion. I'm just over here thinking about how this new guy is making her smile, getting 2 know her the way that I do, and even worse, the sexual things. Man, all this stuff really hurts me. It's already been MONTHS that we haven't been 2gether, and like I said previously, I've been NC since the 4th of January. Personally, it's my belief that she's been with this guy not very long after she left me. I know she thinks that the grass is greener, and it probably is....but she should've stuck around and watered the grass that she was already standing on. All she had 2 do was communicate with me, 4 some reason, she just stopped. All this is just 2 much pain. Thanks though SuperDave, thanks 4 real man.

 

-Solo

[DaMadHatter]

Hey solo i know what you're going through. Went out with an ex for 5 years before she left to see if the grass was greener on the other side. Same situation i did nothing to her.

 

It sux i know. Best thing is NC, i did, i practically dropped off the face off the earth as far as she was concerned and fought every urge to contact her. Fast forward 3 years and out of the blue she contacted me 2 months ago, well by this time i'm over her and i politely explained to her that anything between us was in the past and i've moved on and suggested she do the same. Well u see, in the end I ended up ending it on MY TERMS, and now she'll go on wishing I gave her another chance.

 

My point is that i'm sure sooner or later she'll realize what she had in you. So don't sweat it it hurts the jealousy, loneliness, anger, confusion, but it's temporary. You WILL find another girl that sees the same qualities your ex saw in you. Remember you did not lose them you just have them hidden because of the crap your going through. Get out there and take your life back. Good luck.

[solo34]

Wow, MadHatter, NICE my friend!! That is so true, my 2 good friends had this SAME thing happen. Both their ex's left them, and sure enough, like you're saying they went and regretted their decisions on leaving my friends. Now, both of these women found out how "men" are in this world. "Men" just wanted 2 use them(like most women get used unfortunately) and all that. Now these women KNOW what a good man is, and unfortunately, as your ex found out and I'm sure that mine will 2, it's going 2 be 2 late 4 her and me. Just as it is 4 my friends and your ex. Thank U very much 4 the support, it's deeply appreciated!!

 

Your friend,

 

-Solo34

 

enotalone.com - I couldn't get this kind of support from a jock strap!

[solo34]

I just wanted 2 bump my post up in case anyone else had advice 4 me.