How to just start being me?

[xcountryprincess]

I'm starting to notice that the people that have the most friends, love prospects and generally seem happy with themselves are thoes that are able to just let loose and be who they really are inside. For so long i've changed my behavior, and i guess basically who i am to suit a certain environment.

 

Around authority figures i become this incredibly polite "goody goody" as i want to make a good impression but the truth is by doing so i'm stiffling my spontiaety and wacky self that when people eventually see seem to love. I don't know how to turn off this autopilot of blandness, i don't feel like i'm memorable when it comes to a first impression (as in wow, i'd love to get to know her more she seems so interesting) as i'm acting formal how i'm "supposed to act" and not letting my personality shine through. How do i go about doing this?

 

I know i still need to be polite and at times you need a more serious attitude, but i want to make sure that who i am comes out as well. I'm just starting to see that i am an intereting and worthwhile person and i just want others to see that too.

 

Also as dumb as this may seem (as i'm only 15) i feel as if i'm never going to really find someone thats going to care about me and love me, want to honestly be with me and appreciate me for who i am. All of my friends are in some kind of relationship right now (if not all then definitely the majority of my close friends) and it's just really hard seeing them all get excited about their weekend with their boyfriend.

 

I sit and listen and i'm happy for them but i just can't help but think when if ever is it going to be my turn. I know it doesn't help that i'm mostly around people that are older than me, i skipped a grade and so though i'm 15 i'm in 11th grade so my friends are 16 and 17. I don't know i'm just not understanding why it can't be me, why i always have to sit back and be happy for them while i don't have anyone. I guess this part was more of a rant, lol, but any advice or comments would be really helpful.

[detox5]

You know dude i think i can answer all your problems, because ive been there.

 

The honest truth, you need to sit down, and think about yourself, what you like about yourself, you need to think about how you sound, like how you sound, you need to like how you greed people, you need to like how you talk to people.

 

I truly believe if you begin to love yourself others will follow, and its all about control, if you have control in yourself, authority figures dont matter, you still have a certain control about yourself.

 

Take a long look at yourself, and start to say yea man I love how I greet ppl, I love me!

 

It will be more than enough confidence you will need, and you will see that because you will form this great energy around you and people will become addictive to this energy

[Alabama]

Hey, join the club! Anyway, I also recently started on a personal journey to find out who I am. I suggest think about what makes you interested, and then go from there. It's best to do something you enjoy doing. Don't worry about finding love now, you're still pretty young. It'll come when you least expect it; trust me.