Confrontation

[Chibi]

Hey everyone -

 

I was just wondering how you would handle a situation. Im not in middle or high school so making fun of him or doing something immature is not an option.

 

How would you confront a loved one if you suspected they were being unfaithful? How can you bring it up in a way they wont get offended if they arent?

 

I usually trust my instincts very very closely. Lately I feel as if something is just wrong in my relationship of two years. But I also think about it sometimes and feel we are the happiest luckiest couple I have ever known. I DONT want to screw anything up but feel like somethings been hiding from me. Thanks guys.

[Pixiegirl]

Well the only advice I have is 2 things.....Number one I am very very big on trusting your insticts! Then number two is honesty....if you approach it in a very honest calm manner I think in the long run it would be better. You don't want this to build up in your mind and then explode and approach it with the wrong emotions. Good luck and think how you would want him to confront you!

[segagirl]

In most situations, if you directly approach the topic you are going to get one answer...which is no. I would look at the "hints" a little closer. Take sometime to sit with your partner and talk about other issues, how is he feeling about what the two of you have, if he is happy etc. Things may come out that way. I don't think that anyone one here would give you advice to act immature, regardless of thier ages. We are all glad to help in the best way we know how!

Best of luck to you!

[cruisin]

Dear Chibi,

 

I sure hope there's nothing going on for you. I know the horrid sick feeling of thinking there is. In my case, this last time, my gut feelings were right on but I've known other times when it was all paranoia.

 

Since you don't want to jeopardize things by broaching this subject if there isn't something going on, then I would perhaps, in addition to what segagirl said about talking about the two of you, bring up and reconfirm what you see as "rules" in your relationship. Some couples have open relationships and some are into swinging and swapping even. But if you feel that having your partner be faithful to you alone is important then bring that up. Let him know how you view your own conduct and then talk about how him having an affair or some sex fling would make you feel and perhaps too what the probable consequences would be, though I'd be careful there because it could sound like a threat.

 

This way it'll at least make things harder for him to cheat (if he cares) and if he isn't doing anything then it gives him a chance to reassure you and also to hear how you feel about him and the relationship. If he is involved with someone in a serious way then this may give him the impetus or the courage to come out with it to you and spare you the humiliation down the road of finding out he's been leading a double life. But again, I certainly hope that's not the case.

 

Hope this helps.

[smiles314]

Is your bf open and honest with you? You say that you feel like something is wrong but I wonder why you think he may be cheating. Could tehre be some other problem? I wouldnt bring up the cheating to my bf, because I know most would deny it and get very offend to be accused of such a thing. And feel untrusted and that stuff. If you feel liek osmething is going on, why dont you just have a talk with your bf. Nothing where he feels like he is being interrogating..But just tell him that you been feeling weird, and is anything wrong. I wouldn't even go near the idea of him cheating..Be confident in your relationship..If you are beginning to see signs later on that are more concrete..then you have teh right to bring it up.