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Attracted to a guy, but he likes my friend. I feel really hurt.


intrigue_

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I was immature and liked this guy who I shouldn't have been attracted to... it was stupid. I acted stupid around him, and hate myself for becoming attracted to him because he was really arrogant & elitist, and very full of himself. He flirted with a lot of girls, including myself, and led me on. But now my best friend told me she's going on a date with him... and I just feel so stupid to have even liked him. I don't know if this post has a point, but I'm just feeling really upset and had to write... I just feel really hurt.

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I am sorry to hear you are upset over something that frankly you should not be upset about.

 

What exactly upsets you? Is it the fact that your friend is going out with this arrogant narcissist... or that you aren't? Or both? Either way, you know that there are more fish in the sea, and better fish too. Go snag one up and be rid of this guy.

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haha, that made me smile. I didn't even realize how irrational my post sounded until I read it over again with your comment in mind and laughed out loud. I suppose despite the fact that he's egotistical I still had a crush on him... but a lot of girls also liked him. To be honest, I don't think he's as much of a prik as I'm making him out to be. He is a nice guy. He is good-looking, and recently got accepted into a Ph.D program at a top ivy-league university... he's definitely intelligent. But elitist. I think that's why I despised him... he carries this attitude like he's better than others & flirts with a lot of girls. He's not my type, I should just honestly forget him. It just bothers me because now that my friend is dating him I'll have to be constantly reminded of him...

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and recently got accepted into a Ph.D program at a top ivy-league university...

 

Your description of this guy certainly doesn't surprise me after reading this...

 

When you start feeling down about this situation, just think what it would be like to be around a guy like this all the time...

 

You're better off laughing about it, curling up under a warm blanket, reading a good book, and eating expensive chocolate...not that I do that myself but I hear chicks love it...

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Have most Ph.D students you've encountered been elitist as well? Some of them that I have met at college are also like this, but some are also very down-to-earth. I think part of it has to do with your upbringing. I also notice that very attractive Ph.D students tend to be quite arrogant... but there are some very nice and down-to-earth grad students & profs. so I hesitate to generalize.

 

And the chocolate/good book thing sounds good... I have quite a bit of reading to do yet from school, but maybe watching a nice movie & chilling out a bit would do me some good as well. Hell, it can always do good.

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hmm. I don't know. I attend a pretty good school now (John Hopkins) and the Ph.D students aren't that bad. And sorry about that, I thought you were a DJ...or maybe that's just a side job? if so, that's cool...you're obviously versatile. chicks love that.

 

but yeah, I know there's that whole 'prestige' factor involved... I'm not sure I like it that much.

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hmm. I don't know. I attend a pretty good school now (John Hopkins) and the Ph.D students aren't that bad. And sorry about that, I thought you were a DJ...or maybe that's just a side job? if so, that's cool...you're obviously versatile. chicks love that.

 

but yeah, I know there's that whole 'prestige' factor involved... I'm not sure I like it that much.

 

Hey thanks for the props!

 

Generally, I think people should focus more on who somebody is instead of what somebody is...

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That's true. I never thought about it that way... but I do tend to take into account a guy's 'prestige' factor when I date him as well. It doesn't mean I'll only date a guy because he has an M.D. for example, but it just makes him more appealing...

 

edit: but I think many guys also judge women by their 'prestige' as well. Although for them, prestige may not be so much a function of their level of education, but as of their attractiveness. If they're dating a hot babe, she's prestigious... if she's only a 7/10 but a Ph.D student... not as prestigious. But this also depends on the guy. Some guys ONLY date within their department, or their gf must be a Ph.D/grad student because other girls couldn't possibly understand what they're going through... or so they think. Or if they DO date an undergrad, she has to be at an ivy-league school as well... that type of thing. I know MANY guys like this. I don't like it, but it seems to be the reality.

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