intrigue_

The confidence point is key. I will appear more attractive if I radiate confidence and feel that way inside... guys will pick up on that. If you're insecure they'll think you don't like them and won't approach you...

Hi LadyBugg, Thanks so much... did you read my previous thread? Maybe that influenced your comment, lol.

Hey Rennaissance Woman, Thanks a lot for the comment, I feel like we can relate a lot. I second guess myself all the time. I think it might have been because my parents were over-protective when I was younger and always made decisions for me, never really trusted myself... and it's just been harder to trust myself now. But it could also be my personality... I just sway from decision A to B to C and never know which decision would be best. I have to ultimately just accept that whether or not it's the 'best' decision in an objective sense, it is what is 'best' for me at the time and I made the decision under those circumstances and in that mindset. You can't change the past. I think I just have to learn to accept that, but it is hard. Did you find you were always this way, and how long did it take you to earn that confidence you have now?

I have a tendency to overreact to things... i.e. tend to extremes. Something minor will happen but I'll often blow it out of proportion. Another poster here said that to be more confident in myself I have to learn to make the right decisions, and I'll eventually learn to be less paralyzed. But I still tend to seek advice a lot. I guess how do I know when I am making the 'right' decision, and I'm not being too dramatic/tending to extremes about it? How can you develop that confidence? I always doubt myself so I'm not really sure... I'ev never really possessed that confidence I guess.

ugh I shouldn't have even e-mailed him. I'm such a loser.

RelationshipCoach, when you're done looking at this, please refer to my pm. thanks! sorry for the interruption...

someone PMed me and said that I was taking this too seriously, I probably shouldn't have apologized. I think he's probably right. I blow things out of proportion too much, what I did wasn't that bad... ugh.

well he e-mailed back and said not to worry about it, flirting on the 'net is bound to end in trouble. I don't really see how that's necessarily true though. I sorta don't like his response. But oh well, lol. I think he's probably embarrassed, as am I.

Thanks for the quick reply. I was just being sincere about what i thought... I was being a * * * * *. I know the reasons for it too, but I'm not sure they're justified either... in real life I'm not a that mean though. even though I'm sure it appeared that way...

ok I sent it. Took out the part that I should see a counsellor though and added that "I guess it started off just being playful but got out of hand." I don't know, I'll see what happens...

thoughts? I'd like to send it now that I'm in the mood and feeling sincere about it...

yeah, I think I'll send this. Hi, I just wanted to apologize about the whole thing. I'm sorry, I didn't even realize how much of a * * * * * I was and how horrible that really was to do... that is just honestly not right and you didn't deserve it. The message wasn't directed towards yourself though, it was meant to just be playful since I didn't expect to meet you anyway. But what would compel someone to post what I did in the first place I'm even asking myself... even if someone is sleep deprived they don't just go and lose their moral sensibilities. Well I guess there were a few reasons, I don't just do anything without a reason entirely, but the justification is still somewhat flawed... Anyway. Just dismiss it as some psycho girl on the internet which you're probably doing, and that'll be fine, because I can't entirely justify it either... I suppose it started off just being playful but got out of hand. I just wanted to apologize... I am a * * * * * and just realized it, I guess. Better sooner than later. Thanks for not being totally rude about it though. cheers.

I don't really want to meet him anyway after that though, I just don't want him to hate me I guess. Why shouldn't I put myself down? I was a b*tch and might as well admit it... shows I can at least acknowledge that fact.

You're right and just read my mind. See above. I don't even know if I'm worth meeting to be honest, after what I did. I just should apologize. In my last e-mail to him I said that my comments on his site were meant to be taking facetiously, not seriously, because then I'll come accross as a * * * * *, etc... I guess in a way I blamed it on the people for not understanding my 'humor'?? No wonder he didn't respond...

Hey, Do you think there's anything I can do to sorta make it up now? I was just thinking of sending an apology or something... because I didn't do that before in my e-mail. Saying something like "I just wanted to apologize about the whole thing. I'm sorry, I didn't even realize how much of a * * * * * I was and how horrible that was... I think I'm going to see Counselling Services or something, that is just honestly not right and you didn't deserve it. The message wasn't directed towards yourself though, it was meant to just be playful since I didn't expect to meet you anyway but what would compel someone to do that in the first place I'm even asking myself... Anyway. Just dismiss it as some psycho girl on the internet which you're probably doing, and that'll be fine, because I can't really justify it either... well I could give justifications but it would still seem a bit odd, so I won't... I just wanted to apologize... I am a * * * * * and just realized it, I guess. Better sooner than later. cheers..." do you think sending something like that is worth it? at least it shows I'm not completely crazy as I realized it...I dunno.