Y do ppl talk about being independent when they are in a relationship

[Skippy]

Y do ppl talk about being independent when they are in a relationship??

Isnt it just stupid?? arent these 2 things mutially exclusive? it is like saying, "it is hot but it is cold."

 

What i am getting at is this, being in a relationship means that u are not independent, it means that there are 2 ppl in any decisions that are being made. U cannot have both as it just weakens the relationship. Being in a relationship means that u are commited to the relationship, thus you have choosen give up being independent. This doesnt mean that u give up who you are, that is totally different. Who you are "personality wise" is who you are, it is callled character and has nothing to do with being independent.

 

I suppose what i am getting at is this, if you choose to be in a relationship you choose to give up independence but u should not give up who you are or should i say your character.

 

I maybe wrong, but your opinons are appreciated.

[DN]

I see what you mean but I think that being independent means that you could exist without your partner and be happy but you choose to be with them because you love them.

[Confessoress]

I don't really agree with you there.

 

I'm in a relationship, but I don't live with them.

 

I paid my own bills, have my own friends, have my own hobbies... it's a long distance relationship so I don't see him often.

 

Basically I am independent, I depend on only me. When I see my boyfriend I'm happy because I love spending time with him, sharing stories with him. But the fact remains he does not make me whole and yes, without him I would survive, I wouldn't be as happy because I want him in my life but I'd still survive.

 

So what would be different between being with him or not? Missing a wonderful person that I want to share things with, who I admire.

[chai714]

I see what you mean but I think that being independent means that you could exist without your partner and be happy but you choose to be with them because you love them.

 

I agree with DN.

 

These two events aren't necessarily mutually exclusive because indepdendent does not mean single nor are these two words used interchangably. Part of staying attractive to your partner is being independent and seeking multiple sources of happiness. These are especially helpful in maintaining a sense of balance in your life and in your relationship.

[Mun]

You should always feel as if you are in the relationship by choice, not because you NEED or HAVE to be with the other person...this is where the term "dependency" comes in. When you are there because you want to be there, and maintain a healthy balance between your life as a couple and your own interests...that is being independent.

 

Unfortunately too many people also let go of their own things when getting involved with someone and then expect this other person to give up theirs too, or fill up the empty space...becoming less independent in the process.

I feel like I talked myself into a riddle