SolZee Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 So, I meet this girl in class. Pretty cute, dresses very well, all around nice girl. But initially I was not interested in her at all. She makes it clear to me that she is interested and then I become interested. We are both busy as hell with school so we talk after class every day and then emails/calls on the weekends. On school days and particularly on Fridays when I don't ask her out she appears visibly disappointed. Finally we go out to dinner a couple of times. After our second dinner date she tells me that we should do this again soon. I think she said this about 19 times. So, I run into her the following week, all is well and she wants to do things, I email her to ask if she wants to go out this weekend, tell her that I want to see her and she informs me that she has a boyfriend and she can't really "date" anyone. What the ....? So, now things are awkward. I am nice to her but I want no part of this and she acts like she still wants me to talk to her and ask her to do things. Am I missing something, or is this woman crazy? Link to comment
yeawutever Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 Well, she's now cheating on ur b/f, she shouldn't be dating u if she gots a b/f, looks like a big time flirter. Link to comment
CarnelianButterfly Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 She sounds like bad news. Don't waste your time with her. If she's had a BF this whole time, think what she may do if you date. She's not crazy she's just shallow and inconsiderate, don't give crazy people a bad name. Link to comment
friscodj Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 This girl sounds like a complete disaster. Run...Forest...RUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment
Dannysgirl Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 Could it be that she hooked up with somebody else while you were busy with your schoolwork and such? How long have you known her? Sounds to me that she might be quite insecure and is one of those women who has to have a boyfriend all the time and cannot bear to be single. Perhaps she was dating both of you at the same time for a while but thought that the other guy was more interested in her or a relationship? I'm not saying you are in the wrong here not at all, you shouldn't rush into relationships but there are women out there who are like that and expect commitment straight away. Is she still flirting with you and asking you to go out with her etc? Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 Why do girls do that? I just cant give you a straight answer but they just do. Leave it at that and learn from this. Link to comment
friscodj Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 Why do girls do that? My friend, this a question you don't even want to bother asking... Link to comment
SolZee Posted February 3, 2006 Author Share Posted February 3, 2006 She still gets pissy If I don't talk to her after class. She doesn't say it but she expects me to be interested. Its obviuous from the way she behaves. Its annoying as hell. I thought she was insecure but we are both in med school, she is obviously smart, and she comes from a lot of money. Maybe I am Gump here, but why the insecurity? I do agree that she is bad news, but I am stuck with her until June. Admittedly, I do kinda like her. Mixed signals is what pisses me off - make up your mind! Don't say you have a boyfriend and then be all over me after class like we have been together. I have known her since August of last year. Link to comment
SolZee Posted February 3, 2006 Author Share Posted February 3, 2006 Oh and this bf is someone she has been with "off and on" since high school! So, he didn't just pop up yesterday. Link to comment
Dannysgirl Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 Oh dear, well next time you see her I would just tell her exactly what you've told us here. Tell her you're not a fan of manipulative, attention seeking, insecurity riddled little girls and you're not going to participate in her silly playground games anymore. Link to comment
Iceman26 Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 She is insecure. If she was secure, she wouldn't be cheating on her boyfriend. Why the insecurity on her part? To name a few that would immediately come to mind: It could be a number of things: Either she is bored in her relationship and "doesnt want to break his heart", doesn't know how to get out of the relationship /and or doesn't realize she needs to get out the relationship, is insecure about herself and needs the validation that she is attractive by having other men chase after her......just to name a few. It could be a number of things. Regardless, you need to ask yourself if you want to spend your time chasing down a girl with a boyfriend or spend your time with more honest and upfront women. Good luck. Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 Intelligence has nothing to do with this situation, neither does sex or age. It would seem to be an inherent part of her personality. She expects you to be her friend and still give her the same attention that you were giving her before. If you want to then feel free to give her that attention. Link to comment
SolZee Posted February 3, 2006 Author Share Posted February 3, 2006 I really want to karate chop her in the throat and tell her to leave me alone. But I will never do that. I am just going to ignore her. Better yet, I might start dating the undergrad who has expressed interest. I might even ask her to wait for me outside of our class just to tick Ms. Insecurity off. I realize I sound like a terrible person. Link to comment
Dannysgirl Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 I really want to karate chop her in the throat and tell her to leave me alone. But I will never do that. I am just going to ignore her. Better yet, I might start dating the undergrad who has expressed interest. I might even ask her to wait for me outside of our class just to tick Ms. Insecurity off. I realize I sound like a terrible person. I don't think you do at all, the girl played you and now you are quite rightly angry which I think you have every right to be considering her behaviour now. What right does SHE have to get pissy with YOU? I can't quite decide if this girl really is insecure or on the other hand incredibly full of herself. You don't owe her anything and if she gets 'pissy' with you again I would just tell her straight that you're not interested in being friends or anything else with somebody like her, although I think the cold shoulder treatment will probably work better if you really want to annoy her! Link to comment
Iceman26 Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 You got led on dude, its understandable that you would be frustrated. Try not to let it get the best of you though. I know its hard, but it won't do you any good to let her know you are frustrated. Link to comment
SolZee Posted February 3, 2006 Author Share Posted February 3, 2006 Today she asked me again that we should "hang out" What exactly does that mean? I am beginning to think I am Plan B. Yeah, I think she is all into herself. Link to comment
Dannysgirl Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 You got led on dude, its understandable that you would be frustrated. Try not to let it get the best of you though. I know its hard, but it won't do you any good to let her know you are frustrated. Iceman is probably right, as much as it might make you feel better to go off on one at her etc, it just might end up being a huge ego boost to her. Like 'oh I got to him. He must really like me but knows he can't have me so is all upset, poor thing.' It probably IS better just to be very cool around her not out and out nasty but not friendly either, be as nonchalant as you can and I would still get that undergrad to meet you after class maybe then she'll take the hint. Link to comment
Dannysgirl Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 Today she asked me again that we should "hang out" What exactly does that mean? I am beginning to think I am Plan B. Sounds like that might be the case. Maybe she wants to make sure you're still interested so that you're there if anything happens or if she just wants 'a night off' from being in her relationship so to speak. Next time she asks you just say you're busy and don't give a reason why. Link to comment
Miss M Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 I might start dating the undergrad who has expressed interest. I might even ask her to wait for me outside of our class just to tick Ms. Insecurity off. I realize I sound like a terrible person. You really don't sound like a terrible person, but I would really hate it if someone used my interest in him as a way to "tick off" another worthless girl. Link to comment
wlfpack81 Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 ...Better yet, I might start dating the undergrad who has expressed interest. I might even ask her to wait for me outside of our class just to tick Ms. Insecurity off. I realize I sound like a terrible person. Word of advice. I wouldn't ask out that undergrad unless you really are into her!!! Don't use this undergrad as a tool to make this other girl jealous b/c in a way you'd be doing the same thing to her that this other girl did to you (use you). Link to comment
SolZee Posted February 3, 2006 Author Share Posted February 3, 2006 I am not going to ask the undergrad. I am 28 she is 22. She is just too young and would not understand why I can't do this and that. I met her once and she complained about things not working out with her law student bf because he was "too busy" Well, I am just about that busy myself. I am also turned off a bit by the fact the the undergrad is into dating law and med students. So, the undergrad is out of the picture. Now I just have to program myslef into thinking that I really don't want this girl who just misled/used/abused me. I didn't even notice her in the beginning and now I like her. What kills me is that she "won" in that she got me to like her and I still like her. Link to comment
friscodj Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 Mixed signals is what pisses me off - make up your mind! No, don't leave it up to this flake, YOU make up YOUR mind for YOURSELF. Would you let someone who is piss drunk drive you home during rush hour?!?!?!?!?! Take the wheel my friend...and step on the gas! Like I said before, this one is really easy...don't get involved with this chick! Link to comment
coollady1957 Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 I certainly agree with the last post by DannysGirl. This girl is playing silly games with you and she is definitely not the type to get involved with. I agree the mixed signals and the game playing that some people do can be quite frustrating. There are girls AND guys out there that are in to head games like that with people. Its totally uncalled for. Cut loose from her as much as possible and move on to someone more deserving of your time. Link to comment
lilsmc Posted February 4, 2006 Share Posted February 4, 2006 she probably just got tired of her man!!! so she figured why not have fun with you!!! im available!! hehehe I am cute n dress very nice tOoo =P well hope all goes well!! Link to comment
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