Okay here's the deal...the full story

[hellojello]

Now I wrote a post earlier this week after a fight of ours and now here I am again with another night gone bad and more of the story to tell.

This guy I've been with for a year and a half...longer actually. And it's just been comfortable love for a long long time now. He talks about getting engaged soon at the 2 year mark, in 3 months maybe, and a few months ago I was alright with the subject. But recently, I find myself longing to be free...and I know that feeling, and usually it goes away and I'm left feeling better to be with him...but then this time it's not. So we try to be happy. There's lots of things standing in our way of spending time together right now, and maybe I'm just tired of always trying to make room for him and for no one else. I just don't know what it is that I want. I want him sometimes, but then I want to just not have to feel attached to someone every second of the day.

Anyway, tonight he brought up the issue of engagement, and I told him what I feel now..that I'm too young. He thought that that excuse is crap, just an excuse, but that's what I feel and I told him he should respect it. But he took it as I didn't want to. I don't think engagement is something that comes with time being together, but when you feel ready for something more. It shouldn't be at a certain mark in time, but in emotion. We're on different levels here. Now I don't know if this a post anymore or a diary, but either way, I guess I'm looking for guidance in some way. I guess just comments or statements or similar situations would help me out a lot...if anyone has read this far!

[dmvcc1]

hello hellojello,

I dont often reply to posts, but I read yours with a heavy heart. Although, my girlfriend and I have not talked about engagement but are very close with one another and have a 7 year history through many many tough instances...she is 25 and I am 27. She is apparently feeling the same way that you are and all I can do is give you advice from the other point of view...in this case I would be in your boyfriends position. My GF suddenly started acting distant...literally, one night everything was fine, the next she was blowing me off and then when I stayed there through my hand off of her when I put it on her stomach while we were sleeping. The advice I can give you is you cant have your cake and eat it too. This guy that you are with sounds like a great person. He seems to treat you right...doesnt sound like there is any cheating going on on either side, but the fact of the matter is that you have doubts, just like my gf. She doesnt doubt her feelings for me but doubts us...I am not sure what that means, but if your boyfriend loves you, you MUST be honest with him...and that you have been, you did tell him that you thought you were too young to be engage, but is that something to string him along until you figure out whether he is what you want or not...not real fair to him is it. My GF acted in all these different ways and even went as far as lying to me to go out one night when she told me she was staying home. Well, I found out that she was out and called her out on it. Now I tell her that I dont know what to expect from her and that gets her angry....she is obviously very confused. I dont know if any of this will help but maybe, bottom line is that if you dont love him, you need to tell him even if it will hurt him...this is the point that I have been trying to make with my girlfriend, dont hold back saying something just to spare feelings, because in the long run, it will only be worse for you and for him. I love my gf will all of my heart, she means the world to me, but she acted in a way that I have never seen her act before and that bothers me...now I have doubts about her as a person. If you think that there is a chance you two can be together, but you are not sure now, let him go, if it happens it happens...this is the second time I have been hurt by this girl...i know that she does not do it intentionally, i know that she loves me, but the way she acted, felt like a knife in the heart...dont do that to him...he wants to marry you, he obviously loves you and wants to be with you...take that path or dont, but do not, I repeat, do not keep it in lingo...it is not healthy for anyone...i am smoking 2 packs a day and I have never been so depressed in my entire life, I am an executive so I have to put on a smile all day long and it is the worst thing...but with time it will pass...maybe you can give me some advice on your end...what changed...what happened??? maybe it will allow me to shed some light on my own situation...email me at email removed Hopefully we can talk more and get each other through these tough times. Good Luck

Dan

[Happy_Go_Lucky_Heb]

He'll just hav 2 accept ur decision and wait till u're reading, u don't wanna rush these things anyway....

 

Are u afriad of things? U hav 2 make sure that u like him enough, not let him push u, get urself some space. This is a lifetime we're talking about here.

 

Luck with things

 

Happy Heb