Do I or Dont I?

[MazdaMan]

Ok I'm gonna start off like a lot of other people and give a background. This is the first time I stumbled on this site and it looks as though people get a lot of advice...

 

Im going to be a senior in highschool and I have a really deep crush on one of my friends. I have known her since sophomore year and we have become pretty close. But the thing is I have liked her for the 2 years and have kept it bottled up inside. I started talking to her best friend, she knows that I have feelings for the girl so I had her friend do some investigating. My spy says to forget it because she said that I am nothing but a friend to her. (Sorry if i'm confusing you with all the shes, hers, and whatever). A year ago we went to this dance together (as friends) and know I find out the she had feelings for me the whole time, but never acted on them. When her friend told me this it killed me. I missed my one shot. And she just broke up with a boyfriend and said she wanted a "break from relationships". So do I tell her and break friendship? Or do I not tell her and suffer? Please help me! Im getting more tempted everyday. One of my best friends died a year ago and since then I've been thinking life is too short to hold the feelings back. But I'm really scared we will grow apart if I tell her. I don't want things to be awkward. Thanks in advance.

[Shakey182]

well i know how you feel.

ive been in the same situation. if she wants a break hold your time well and let her come to you, after a month or so if she dosent then go to her. maybe she just needs a push in the right direction by a certain frend or not

[charmed]

Hey There MazdaMan !

 

Welcome to the forum and thanks for sharing your situation with us.

 

Am I to understand that her friend told you recently that she is not interested in more than friends with you?

 

I did get a bit confused by who was who, perhaps call them A and B !! But I don't see any reason for your spy to lie to you - is there?

 

I had the same problem a few years ago in college - missed my chance and didn't even know about it !!

 

You have to make a choice. If you are going to harbour these feelings for her - perhaps you should act on it as you said. But you do have some information that says you should do otherwise.

 

Be careful here bacause you may loose her as a friend if you try to hard to get a relationship going. You need to either a) act on this and face the consequenses, or b) get this out of your head, and continue on as friends.

 

Don't let it get to yo anymore. If she had feelings for you before, perhaps she will again.

 

Good luck,

~ Charmed ~

[secret_agent_man]

I agree, but as I've said in other posts, Mazda, you need to understand that risk completely. It may ruin your friendship, and it may not. Just know that things aren't all black and white. A million things could happen. Just don't pressure her, because that's what will definitely scare her off if she's not interested.

 

If you do approach her, she may have just been hiding her feelings from her friend, you never know.

I say give it a careful shot, but don't go full steam. She may just need to hear it from your mouth directly to turn the light on in her head.

 

Good Luck, Mazda

8)

S.A.M.

[MazdaMan]

Ok well I think I am going to go for it. I texted her and said we need to hang out more I miss you. And she said we need to hang out for sure. So when I'm with her I am gonna mention my feelings. Any advice on how to ease it on her? I was thinkin about sayin... ya i used to have a crush on you a couple years back... and lately I feel the same feelings have returned. And she'll probably say something like oh.... and leave a big awkward period. Im just preparing for the worst. WHAT DO I DO! Cuz my feelings won't change. I just can't get over it. Thanks a lot guys.

[nancy_9535]

Hey, I kinda have the same problem... well, sort of... anyway... if she says she wants a break from relationships, then I think you should let her get her break from relationships... if she had feelings for you before, she may realize that she wants to act on those feelings... so she'll come to you. Maybe you can give her a few months...2 maybe? Some girls take a long time to get over a break up... but after a while if nothing happens I think you might want to move on... I know that seems really rude... but there are other girls out there, too. It doesn't mean you have to really let go of your feelings for her completely, just look around... see who else there is, ya know? just be careful... sometimes confessinig those kind of things can ruin a friendship.... as for your spy... she may like you or may not want to see her friend get into another relationship because she may be insecure... you never know about these things...

[Sojourner]

Judging from my posts, I don't know how mcuh good my advice will be but seeing as it took years for me to tell the special someone in my life my true feelings, i thought i'd try to help a like minded guy out.

 

this IS a touchy situation, and I'm sure the last thing you feel when you're around her is the self-control to not say anything. You have to try for now though. I would say that you just need to be there for everyday. It will probably hurt, but you show your loyalty, your tenderness, and she may begin to see what's there under the surface. I would concur with some of the others that you need to give her the space to get over this break up. trust me you don't want to get yourself into a rebound situation. Just hold out for a little longer. If she feels the same you'll know.

 

That's my two cents. Good luck

[Dark]

Even though girls are suposed to talk to eachother about who they like, i never do, maybe your girl is the same as me))) Tell her, at least u'll have hope