Another milestone in recovery.

[Dako]

I used to maintain a large website for one of my hobbies. I worked quite hard on it over the years and was proud of the writing, graphics and content. I had correspondence from around the world and it made me happy to share things with like-minded people. I got to meet these people when they came to my town, often from other countries. To a modest fellow like myself, recognition for my work was a treat, since I'm one of those people who fades into the background and is seldom noticed.

 

My wife didn't like it. She thought it was a risk to be involved with people on the net, and nagged me so much I took it down. Tonight I was looking for the disks to resurrect it, and realized that while I sacrificed for her happiness, putting her through school, supporting her in every career and catering to her in many ways, she had lttle regard for how much this one little hobby gave me.

I uttered the first hostile words about her since she left, then poured a tall whiskey.

I'm a bit annoyed right now, but I think I'm the better for it. I still love her as a friend so I see no scorched-earth hostilities coming up. After all, I most certainly gave her some similar aggravation during our marriage!

I'm just feeling a bit of clarity. I plan to rebuild that website and take back a tiny bit of my self-respect.

 

No more Mr. Nice Guy!!!!

[DN]

Go for it Dako - time to start rebuilding your life and finding things just for you and for the pure enjoyment of it.

 

Enjoy!!

[avman]

I second that! Don't waste any energy cursing your ex. Just rebuild that website you so enjoyed and make it all you can.

 

Good for you!

[Shadows Light]

AWESOME!!!! Good for you... big grins from me here. Looking forward to it. I hope you share it with us... maybe be an inspiration.

 

Thats something I haven't thought of... starting a website...

 

Go for it DAKO

[friscodj]

Anger is part of grief man...you're on the right road...

[Dako]

 

 

I'm not angry, just grinning.

I'm not much on hostility.

[LiquidCherry]

Aww, yer cute!

[Relationship Coach]

Dako,

You are an inspiration to everyone here and watching you move forward through the haze of each day finding clarity in the simplest of things makes me wonder what in the hell was she thinking? You're a great guy and I'll be in your corner through the final bell.

 

RC

[Dako]

Thanks Coach,

 

Oh, I'm sure she's feeling similar twinges about things I've done to her.

 

I imagine this is the counterpoint to those adjustments we make beginning a marriage, where you compromise a few things for the greater good. Sometimes those compromises were positive, such as givng up cigarettes or shady friends. Others seem almost pointless in retrospect.

 

For some reason I tend to forget the negative things in my life or laugh at them, while the high points stick in my mind. It's handy.

 

I'm enjoying my freedom, yet I'd enjoy orbiting a special person at the price of some small liberties.

[coollady1957]

Dako, I have just recently got the chance to read some of your posts and learning about the things you are going through. I have gotten to learn alot about you this past month from your posts to me on my problem and then reading about yours. You seem to be handling your situation and is great that you can still remain friends with your exwife. I see that you said there was no cheating( which is great), involved with your parting ways and that she just became unhappy in the relationship. You seem to moving on with life quite well. I think you are a very awesome person. Today is the first day that I have seen your photo. After reading about you and your situation, finally getting to see your photo was a treat. On top of being a great person with alot of insight and wonderful advice, you are also a very handsome man. Have a great day !

[Dako]

Now I'm blushing...

 

Thanks for your kindness coollady.

I've gotten lots of inspiration from you. You've shown me how to be strong when I'm having a bad day. Sometimes a few words can mean so much when things get grim.

 

One day at a time, right?

As much as I try to deny it I really miss being married, but have doubts about seeking it again.

 

I hope you are well and getting back into a healthy rhythm soon.

[RayKay]

That sounds like an awesome idea Dako, I think that will help you leaps and bounds when you ultimately get it going again.

 

It will be a good part of rediscovering your "self", as our passions too are part of whom we are.

 

Now...I just hope this hobby is not that aforementioned whiskey (unless in small tasteful quantities of course!).

[Dako]

RayKay,

Just a drink at the end of the day, nothing dramatic.

I design and fly various types of kites and windpowered things. I made this trick kite right after my breakup. It's a good hobby and keeps me busy.

 

 

[RayKay]

RayKay,

Just a drink at the end of the day, nothing dramatic.

I design and fly various types of kites and windpowered things. I made this trick kite right after my breakup. It's a good hobby and keeps me busy.

 

 

Very nice! That figure looks like a kokopelli which I saw a LOT of when I was mountain biking in Moab this past summer:

 

 

 

Anyway, sounds very fun and interesting! I have watched the local kite competitions here at the park during the summer when I was going through on my bike, neat stuff!

[coollady1957]

THanks Dako for your kind words back also. I am doing quite well I feel. I take a day at a time and focus on the present and my future and try not to look back alot on what happened. I have been through alot of those stages of grief trying to get over it all and move on. It has been easier so far for me than I had ever imagined it would be. I guess the being cheated on and realizing that he didnt love me afterall, and that in the interests of my own well being I would be better off with out him, made it much easier to deal with and get passed it. I am in a bit of fear of dating again. Maybe fear isn't the right word. I think it is just alot of apprehension about it and not fear. I am back into a good daily routine and doing more things for myself again. However I do miss having some one special in my life. I am the type person that loves to share the joy, and happiness of life with a special some one. Living alone with my cats is not the most enjoyable way to do that. But for now , I just do that one day at a time thing. I have had a few men ask me out , but I have yet to accept. I feel I am doing so well , so far with every thing and I dont want to act too soon on dating some one else. I feel though that there must be alot of men out there that would understand what I have been through , and that I could get to know as friends first before acting too quickly. I am still trying to figure out the timing on when to move on and when to back off ....... I guess I will know when it feels right again. I am sure you will as well in your future relationships and dating. YOu seem like quite level headed guy.

[ehm doubleyou]

Glad to see that you have some clarity now....its totally the first major step in moving on....I remember when i had that moment...it felt great...I too am a graphic designer and your kites look great....Keep it up Dako