Please help if you have a minute..

[jnelson]

Hello,

 

Well...I have been in a mess with my ex gf for a couple of years now...we were together for 4 1/2 years and broke up due to distance about 2 years ago....since then we have been on and off multiple times....everytime she said she wanted to 'give things a try' i believed her, but she never REALLY gave things a try...I always felt she stayed reserved and protected herself from getting hurt by me again (I was the main reason we broke up in the first place)...

 

we have been in the same city now since september but its obvious things just arent going to work out....not now anyway...I really do love this girl but im not sure if that is due to our history together or not....she has definitely changed since we dated seriously and i don't like it....

 

unfortunately we had a big argument a week ago and i told her off....in no way have i ever abusive towards her (except maybe this time) but she was being a complete b*tch to me and i told her about it, and told her to f*ck off, i have had enough....i felt terrible afterwards but i felt it was something i needed to do at the time...

 

i told her i didnt want her in my life anymore and i was moving on....this is the opposite of what i really want but i don't really have a choice now...i was thinking about packing up all of our pictures together, letters from her, tickets from events we were at together etc. and giving them to her...i'm thinking this might help me get over her, and also show her that i am serious about moving on.....is this a good idea?

 

the problem i can see with this is if she throws all of that out..i mean, i wouldnt really care right now, but one day if we ever got back together or if something happened and i wanted that stuff back, i might regret giving it to her....what do you think?

[NJRon]

Pack it up, stick it in a box, and put it away for now. There's no need to make a gesture in giving it back, unless there is something valuable that you think she should have instead. I erased all the old emails my ex sent me in a fit of depression because i felt they were all lies and didn't want the reminders. Now I kind of wish I had them, just so I could read through them and remember some of the happy times.

[Scout]

Yeah, it's never a good idea to act on emotions - especially when your emotions are going up and down like a yo-yo. You can end up doing something that could permanently burn a potential bridge to friendship or even reconciliation.