Please tell me I"m just being paranoid...

[EpicOfAnguish]

I have this good friend who I think may have eyes for my husband. My reasons for thing this seem crazy, even to me...

 

-Lately I have noticed some animosity from her for no apparent reason.

-I made a comment about how my Mom said my husband was ugly once, and she said she found him attractive.

-I was reading one of those stupid internet surveys people pass around from her, and one of the questions was "Who are your best friends?" She listed my husband first above everyone else. This was unusual because it doesn't really seem they are that close. My husband is actually good friends with her husband.

-She has tried to talk her husband into having an open marriage, (which he won't do). She has gone on to me about how she doesn't think sleeping with someone other then her spouce is wron because it's just sex.

-She is a practicing Satanist. (I am IN NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM saying this makes her a bad person, but from what I understand Satanism preaches the philosophy that if it feels good, do it.

-I was confiding in her about a disagreement my husnand and I had, and she seemed to side entirely with him.

 

I had another friend make a pass at my husband once. NOthing happened, but he enjoyed the attention way too much. So now I'm worried that this current friend may try something with him.

 

So am I being paranoid? What should I do about it? Typing this makes me feel better though.

[EpicOfAnguish]

Just a quick afterthought... She once claimed in an online post that she lies, uses people, and does things she regrets on a daily basis.

[Scout]

Yikes! Based on everything you've listed about this "good friend" I'd say drop her like a hot potato NOW. She admits she lies and uses people on a daily basis?? You're playing with fire having someone like that in your life, husband or no.

[SuperDuper]

Trust your husband.

 

Once you realize that YOUR husband chose to devote his life to YOU, instead of any of the billions of other females on the planet, i'm sure you'll feel much more relieved.

 

If he was to hook up with your friend.. what sort of "man" would he be, anyways?

 

Don't worry about it - though your 'friend' sounds iffy.

[Meow18]

I agree with Scout. All those things you listed not only seem suspicious, but why would you want a friend like that? A friend is supposed to be someone you can trust, talk to, and depend on when you need them. I hope that the good things about her outweigh those things you listed by far..

 

How often do you see her? What does your husband think about her? I'm assuming his friendship with her is mostly just through the husband? I would keep a close eye on her when she is around. If you trust your husband, then I don't think anything will ever actually happen.. and he can watch out for himself, but maybe you should talk to him about this.

[EpicOfAnguish]

The thing is, my husband goes completely crazy when a women shows him any attention or shows the slightest interest in him.

 

When my other friend made a pass at him he said maybe we shouldn't have her over to the house anymore because of this. I don't know if he meant he couldn't resist her, or if he just wanted to avoid an ugly situation.

 

But also, two years ago he had a pretty inappropriate relatioship with someon online, all because this online person showed an interest in him. It was like he liked seeing me get jealous, and liked knowing two wmone (assuming this person even WAS a woman) competing for him. So yes, I may trust him not to actually DO anything, but I don't think he would behave himself either.

 

Her and my husband get along well. All four of us (the fourth person ebing her husband) have a lot of things in common. I don't think she is physically his type, but neither was my other friend who hit on him either. But my husband does seem to be more friends with her husband then with her. I still can't igure out why she said he was her best friend in this internet survey, and then sent it to me.

 

I am afraid that if I tell my husband my concerns, he will let it all go to his head and start intentionally stirring things up with her just to get me good and jealous.

[sonjam]

First thing to do is to stay calm, and not to over react to any of them. Keep this to yourself until we can talk about it, and decide on the best way for you to address these fears.

 

1. YOur friend is definitely not the best type of friend to have, but who am I to judge you since I have friends that I've had for more than 10 years, that are not very nice people either.... So if you want to continue your friendship with her and her husband, you will have to play this very cool.

 

2. What I'm reading into her actions is either a - she's stupid in sending you the survey, if she's trying to keep it all a secret or b - she's intentionally trying to get your back up by playing at your husband, and c- she might be interested in getting it on with the both of you..... (since her husband is unwilling)

 

3.. Let's assume she's trying to see your reaction, and intentionally going after your husband (worst case scenario) What will you do to pevent this situation from escalating into the worst?

 

OK, so you trust you hubby, but he will probably do something stupid with all the attention. Solution? Keep the two of them appart.

 

I suggest you see a little less of this friend and her husband for awhile, until the situation cools off.

 

Confrontation will definitely not do any good, since you have only empty accusations, and you could even be wrong about this, and then ruin relations.

 

And then, I suggest you talk to you hubby in general, about what he thinks of her, and so on, (but don't mention that she's interested in him) Just test the water about her feeling towards her and her husband... that will probably put some persective on the situation, and enable you to better decide what to do.

 

The thing NOT TO DO is have a fight, and start accusations.

Talk some more if you like, we can all work through this with you!

 

Good luck