Sex is like constantly on my mind....I think I'm crazy

[sweetheart230]

This is kind of embarrassing. Sex is on my mind. A lot. Maybe its normal considering my age. Like if I sleep in, I wake up thinking about it. And then throughout the day, it pops into my mind. Quite a bit. I guess this is weird, because I'm very sexually inexperienced and my only sexual experiences have been somewhat subpar. But I love foreplay, and that eventually led to (very bad) sex a couple times with my jerk ex. And the touching and kissing and stuff is on my mind more than I like to admit. I don't miss him anymore, surprisingly. But I miss his touches and his kisses.

 

Maybe its just the physical closeness I miss. Casual encounters aren't a good solution because after its over, I'm left feeling lonley and I just want to snuggle up with someone who means something to me. But I keep thinking about it. When I'm at work, when I'm painting, when I'm in class, when I'm with friends. Even when I'm reading. I don't even drink anymore because the last time I almost hooked up with someone's boyfriend.

 

I want to take my time and find someone naturally...I don't want to force it. But sex is on my mind all the time. I want to stop wanting sex so badly. Touching myself isn't even a very good option because I want physical closeness and kisses and touches, too.

 

I was ok for a while, but then my friend sent me a picture of this girl who she thought was really pretty. I'm very secure in my looks...I believe I'm very good looking, but I started feeling insecure again. And then I started thinking about my ex again, and the way he touched me and I'm going crazy. I just really really like hooking up. I don't know how to curb this feeling, because its driving me nuts and making me feel pressured into finding a boyfriend, and I hate that feeling.

 

Any advice on how to get back on track would be great. I've made so much progress in the last few months and I've worked on myself esteem and confidence levels, but sex is on my mind all the time.

[romantic sweetheart]

I don't hink you are crazy--In your post you described wanting the closeness of sex, and feeling disatisfied with simple casual encounters. I think what you are craving is indeed the tenderness and intimacy of a physical union, and that is normal. As a woman, epspecially, the meaningfullness of sex is important, and your post indicates that deep down, this is what you crave.

 

I think that you should not be afraid of your desires, and instead of fighting them, just let them drift through your mind and try to detach yourself and watch your thoughts as if you are an observer. In meditation, this is a technique that can help quiet your mind. Just allow your thoughts to come and go and do not judge them, fear them, or try to supress them. Eventually, you might find peace with your feelings and thoughts and alow them to be a sort of background noise, like a flowing stream.

 

Thoughts and desires are powerful and ar a part of us. I am sure you have experienced moments where you tried to forget something (like an annoying song stuck in your head) and the more you told yourself not to think of it, the more you actually did think of it. But left alone, our thoughts can run their course and come and go naturally.

 

It is normal to think of passion, to daydream, to have such cognitions intrude in on our daily activities. You might try to write down some of your thoughts in a journal--Sometimes writing things down helps us unleash some of the energy contained within.

 

You might also try to set aside 30 minutes a day to allow yourslef to fully and unabashedly think of sex--with no internal reprimands and, and then afterwards, mentally put those thoughts in "box" in your mind, and go on about your day. This technique works with worrying--We can allow ourself to think our thoughts, put them in that mental box, then go on about our business. If we give ourself this small indulgence, we might be able to purge some of the energy from our system.

 

Do not feel badly about your thoughts and feelings--Accept them for what they are. They are just a part of your natural desire to want closeness, tenderness and union with another soul.

 

But since they are distracting and troubling to you, you might try some of the above techniques, which can soothe your mind, center your soul, and channel some of your energy.

 

And remember--You are still so very young--You have a lot of passion in you--One day, there will be a handsome young man who will adore you and fully share with you this passion--in love and kindness!