I think I'm kind of dating impaired

[sweetheart230]

Well, I'm not all that experienced in the beginning stages of dating. I am somewhat shy, extremely shy around new men. Once I feel comfortable with a guy, I warm up very quickly and men usually like me a lot.

 

I guess I don't know how to begin dating someone, especially since I am in school. The whole process kind of confuses me. I don't know how you go from meeting someone to him asking you for a date or to hang out. Once I'm on a date, or one on one with a guy I know how to handle myself (and have learned from past mistakes). But getting there is a challenge for me. I've never met someone in a normal way...the few times I have gone out its usually been set up by someone in one way or another.

 

I met one person online, and I'd really like to try other ways before doing that again. In college classes, I'm not sure how to get to know someone better, either, since I'm usually listening to the lecture most the time. Even when I do talk to someone, we usually have a great conversation, but then we don't really hang out outside of class...i feel like they probably have friends and stuff to do things with. especially with guys, I feel weird saying lets hang out sometime unless they indicate they want to.

 

I've learned that I do not flirt much unless really drunk, and don't notice when guys are interested in me. But I just wonder if flirting with them is enough. How do you go from flirting to him asking you out? What makes a guy want to ask you out on a date after talking to you? I know I appear intimidating sometimes. But I don't know how it goes from flirting to "lets go out sometime". Sometimes I'll talk to a guy and he seems interested, but nothing comes of it and I wonder if I should be doing more. Maybe I'm misinterpreting signals. Like at work, this guy was buying stuff and then asked me to show him something for his stepmom. It seemed like he was kind of hitting on me (kind of askign dumb questions and he seemed a little nervous), but after he payed for his stuff he left. I smiled and laughed and stuff, but maybe I should have done more or maybe he wasn't interested.

 

Once I'm on the date, I'm great and I have a good time. But flirting only comes naturally to me when I'm happy. Sometimes I think that if I'm just happy and open and warm to people it will just happen naturally and guys will just start asking me to go out or hang out. But if there's something I should be doing differently, I'm eager to know!

 

Thanks everybody!

[Imperceptible]

I'm going through the same situation. One of my friends is a whiz at flirting. I asked her for tips but she doesn't know how she does it. Maybe it has to come naturally. I've watched her at work and she looks confident, relaxed, and happy. So maybe you should do the happy, open, warm thing and it'll come naturally. Let me know if that works for you so i can try it.

[Maverick32x]

hey, im having the EXACT same problem.. but im on the flip side.. im a guy, and have no idea how to start the whole "dating thing" in college ive dated a few girls in HS.. (1 for like 2 months.. another for 6.. and my most recent almost 2 years) i've been able to mess around with people when im drunk, but when it comes to making a meaningful relationship, i have NO idea where to even BEGIN!!! i've tried talking to girls in class, and it always goes really welll... but so many of them always seem to be either out w/ sorority sisters, or w/ other friends, that i feel like a total idiot if i just asked to hang out... oh ya, and i dont have a car at school -_-

any advice or help on this would always help me out!!

ps Sorry i couldnt help you at all

[sweetheart230]

Maybe ask them to study with you sometime or something like that? That sometimes turns into something.

[tmp0620]

"I don't know how you go from meeting someone to him asking you for a date or to hang out."

 

Why does he have to do the asking? Don't expect the other person to take the action... If they do, that's great, but don't put it all on them. I would never ask a girl out on a date. That's cause I have some issues, but no one likes to put themself out there when they could be rejected. If you have the confidence to do the asking, then you'll get plenty of yesses.

 

PS. At least your not dating retarded