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My ex dumped me, after blowin a second chance, 4 months ago and we were together for 6 months. I'll try and make this short, We both loved eachother loads and we were eachothers first love. After the breakup.. i didnt know anything about how to deal with it and the whole no contact theory. I acted extremely pathetic for too long.. i begged her to come back.. cried..constantly calling her and tried everything i could. She was trying to make it clear that she needed space and she tried to be my friend but i just kept on trying to win her back by doing all the wrong things and was really depressed. This went on for months and months until she ended up not speaking to me. Thats when i realised i'd gone too far. And i have, i was too pathetic and i pushed her too far. So around the end of december i decided to try NC even though we see eachother at school and we never say hi to eachother anymore, i tried to not talk about her and act happy. It lasted a few weeks but i texted her a few times sayin happy new year and merry xmas . But yesterday i added her on my new account on messenger and she didnt no it was me and i asked nicely if we could be friends but she was like ' * * * * off i dont want anything to do with you. you scare me. please leave me alone' and blocked me.. lol yea the situation is that bad. she's scared of me. and i still love her =(. * * * *. i feel really hopeless she doesnt want to be my friend and it's been 4 months since we broke up and i still am grievin and still love her. I really want her back and im not sure if NC for months would work. =( but they say anything is possible?


please help

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NC is for you to heal, not for her to miss you and come running back to you. You have gone too far and in her mind she has reason to be afraid of you. Stop all contact 100%, if you see her at school, just walk on by without even looking her direction. You did not put in your post the reason for the break up or who initiated it. By your actions, my guess would be that she broke it off with you, am I correct? You cannot force someone to feel what isn't there and you certainly can't get her back by throwing yourself at her feet. Give her all the space in the world and work on healing yourself for now, anything else would be counterproductive.

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The reason you're not getting the results you want, is because your motives are wrong.


Your destination seems to be, you and her back together. While right now, it should be that you back off and live your life for you. Heal for YOU.

Don't heal as a strategy to win her back.. chances are you'll end up broken hearted again.


I've done this first hand, and whatever people tell you here, isn't just opinion. It's their experiences first hand and we all share them with people like you so you can learn hopefully before making the same mistakes.


At least you realized you went too far, and now can reflect back and realize what you can do in future relationships to have different outcomes.


For this situation, I'd say it's best to start living your life again. She isn't in it anymore, and they may seem like the harsh reality, but in a few months of living YOUR life, you won't even care what she's doing anymore.


Good luck.

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we had a great six month relationship though and i really miss her. I really want to heal up and give her space and if that goes well for a few months i really want to try and get her back again somehow. I still really love her and i'd do anything.. i've tried moving on.. but she's such a big loss and sometimes i hate myself for ruining everything. Sorry for repeating myself ](*,)

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As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't

supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your

heartbroken, probably more than once, and it's harder every time.


You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was

broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love

for things an old one did.


You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually

lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much,

and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds

you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.


Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot; who calls you

back when you hang up on him; who will stay awake just to watch you

sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead; who wants to show

you off to the world when you are in your sweats; who holds your

hand in front of his friends. Wait for the one who is constantly

reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to

have you. Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says,

"..that's her."



"Don't ever give up if you still want to try, don't ever wipe your tears if you still want to cry. Don't ever settle for an answer if you still want to know. Don't ever say you don't love him if you can't let him go."

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Apologize and cut contact. You will only scare yourself and look psycho if you keep on bothering her even when she told you clearly to F off.


Getting her back? Who knows. But the first step is to respect her space, stop looking a little crazy and leave it be. I know it hurts, but at this point, you are literally driving her to hate you for this.

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Hopeless, as Relationship Coach said, there really is no way of telling unfortunately...


I don't wish to sound patronising, but please stay strong and do NC for yourself, not to win back your ex.


Focus on yourself, your dreams and aspirations. Take one step at a time and give yourself time.


Again, it's impossible to "win" someone back, you can't force them into it, it'll cause resentment.


The only thing you can do is focus on YOU. Once you're happy with who you are, everything else will fall into place.


So please, learn to be happy with you first!


Good luck.

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