I'm being jerked around!!

[serena112]

My situation is probably one you've all heard of before. I guess I am seeking validation or just someone to look at this objectively. I met this guy on a phone date line. We met up and we kinda clicked. He is 43 and I'm 24. There's a 19 year gap and he has two sons with the oldest being 21. He is a widower and has been for several years. He wanted to take it slow and I accepted that because I wasn't sure if I even wanted this relationship. He wants to be friends but for the past two weeks has all but shut me down when it came to me coming over or spending time with him. He owns his own business (I'm still not sure if it's true) and is active in his church. True he stays business but I know that when a man wants you he will make time regardless.

 

I wanted to give a fair chance. I've had my share of losers and hate not being able to trust alot of people. Usually I can read and be able to tell what they are about within the first 20mins of talking to them. But him I can't quite figure out. One day he sings to me "you'll never find a love as good as mine"...and then the next he's too busy and really just wants a friend. He says that if he didn't want me as a friend he wouldn't call and that he wasn't interested he wouldn't call. He's jerking my chain and I'm irritated cause I let him.

 

Right now I'm confused. I don't know if I want him because I can't have him or what. I don't know how to handle this guy and think it's making it's hard for me to see him for what he really is.

 

Am I completely wrong about this situation or do you agree that I'm being played?

[bleeder]

Hi Serena,

 

It seems like this man is unsure of himself, to begin with.

 

A confident man would never jerk anyone around, one with good morals intact that is. Someone sure of himself would signal a clear-cut direction where relationships are concerned, it is either a YES or a NO. No 'Doctor Jekyll and Mister Hyde' role playing when it comes to a man with a good dose of self esteem.

 

To safeguard yourself from any further hurt, I'd advice you to walk away now. A relationship can never blossom when doubts and fear are always in play.

[serena112]

Thanks for your advice. I think I just wanted to hear someone say what I'd been thinking.

[Itsok]

Sorry but yes, you are being jerked around.

 

Not to mention, do you you really want to date someone nearly 20 years older than you? Men who will date women that young normally aren't in it for a worthwhile relationship. They are in it for the sex.

 

Lose him now before you make any significant attachment. He isn't worth it and you are worth more than that.

[bleeder]

You are most welcome. I am sure that there are better men besides him who are more deserving of your attention. Don't stop looking.

[Vanilla]

Men who will date women that young normally aren't in it for a worthwhile relationship. They are in it for the sex.

 

couldn't agree more. if he wanted a deep meaningful relationship I'd think he'd find someone closer to his age. Someone who shares similar experiences and life. I think he just probably finds it thrilling to have a young 20something yr old girl wanting him and he's enjoying the idea. Like an ego booster.

 

Get outta there quick- his son could be your brother. Its just a bit too fishy for me.

 

I know age is just a number when there is real love...but there is no real love here...