Longing for a lost love

[deniselee064]

My boyfriend and I broke last Sunday. He called me will I was doing homework to tell me we were breaking up. Our 5th Month Anniversary would have been Thursday. I had a really bad time accepting the ending of our relationship. We were happy and in love until about 2 weeks ago. On Christmas Eve, he came over to my house and we exchanged gifts and relaxed after that. While at my house, he checked his Myspace page. The next day he called me saying something was wrong with it. He wanted me to check on it, so I did (he gave me his password). When I signed in as him to make sure everything was okay, these messages popped up from one of his female friends. The first one said she was sorry for falling asleep on the phone with him last night. The next one said she was beginning to have feelings for him. He replied he also had feelings for her too. She was shocked and asked if his girlfriend world be mad. He said she would be mad, but wanted to see where this relationship would take them. As I was reading this, I began to cry. The man I loved with all my heart was suggesting a closer relationship with another woman. Well I confronted him on his messages, and he confessed. He said he was not thinking and wanted only me, not the other girl. I was so confused, a part of me wanted to break up with him and the other part wanted to stay with him. He begged and pleaded and I stayed with him, hoping they would return to the happy, blissful days. They didn't however. They actually turned worst. I was so jealous and insecure, and it only became worst once we started school again in January. We don't attend the same school so I naturally became nervous. We were constantly at each other's throats. On Thursday of that week, he decided we need to put the relationship on a break. This past Saturday we both attend this party. He was ignoring me and constantly on his cell phone. Then I saw the other girl at the party. So naturally I wanted to meet the girl who was ruining my relationship. My boyfriend then became angry we me since he didn’t want me to talk to the girl. After that he joined his friends and I sat in my chair thinking about everything that was happening. My best friend could tell my spirits where low, so she asked my ex if he could stop being so mean to me. He then pulled me aside and we talked. He became more upset and left me for his friends again. My friends suggested I dance so I did. While dancing on the floor, I see my ex freak dancing with one of his close female friends. He is all over her, so naturally I feel embarrassed and betrayed. He continues to freak dance while my friends start getting pissed off at him. So my best friend gets in his face and asks him what he is doing and why he is hurting me? He tells her to back off (clean version). They look like they are about to fight, but others break it up. I later confronted him about his actions and he goes off of me. I try to soothe things over by dancing with him, but it didn’t work. He left shortly after that too. I feel so alone not being with him though. I don’t know what to do with myself. I know he still loves me but it hurts that we’re not together. My friends are now trying to push me to talk to so one else, and I just can’t do it. I feel lost, lonely, hurt, and most of all not loved. If it wasn’t for me finding those messages I would be very happy right now, and that makes me feel worst. I feel ugly to him and know deep down I will never be that special person he will always love. I need some help. What do I need to do to move on?

[DN]

What do I need to do to move on?

 

You need to keep reading your post until you realise emotionally as well as rationally how badly he treated you, privately and in front of other people. Once you get that you will know that you made a mistake in thinking he was a good guy - he isn't. You fell for someone who doesn't really exist and who only recently showed you what he is really like.

 

It will be hard but heal as soon as you can and look for someone who doesn't present himself as someone he is not. There are plenty of genuine guys out there - you happened to find someone who is not.

 

BTW - your friends were looking out for you, but in the future restrain them from interfering in your relationships. It's rarely a good idea. Much better to handle things on your own.

[shyanne]

5 months isn't long. be happy you found out what he is like now rather then years into the relationship. if he's chatting up other girls this early in your relationship then i don't think he was ever that serious about you to start with. this is easy said but you need to try and forget him. do more things with your friends. do things that you enjoy and that make you happy. listen to your friends, start talking to other boys. this guy isn't worth your time. you are a special person, to you, your friends, your family and thats the important thing. the right person is out there for everyone and one day you will find him.

 

"what lies behing us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."

[Relationship Coach]

DN is right on the mark. Read and re-read! People who love each other do not look for other options (people). You are not a car, he's out taking test drives while considering trading you in. You did the right thing by dumping him. He is immature and probably using his hateful attitude to cover up his own pain of being dumped. Everyone will see him for who he is now and you are much better off without him. Find someone who wants to be with you and only you. To me, my wife is the most beautiful woman in the world, why would I ever look elsewhere? That is love.