make_up_your_mind Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 Ive already brought this up, sort of. but i really need some help. im beginning to feel hopeless...desperate and hopeless. im fifteen. i have these dreams. dreams one day of being with a girl. the girl changes sometimes. sometimes i see one girl and like her, in my school, but i never am able to approach her. (all the girls in my school are the year above and the above that). ive never ever had a girlfriend. and this fact sort of helps wreck my dreams in some ways. i can imagine being a really amazing boyfriend , but the point is im completely and utterly worthless. my voice is screwed up (has been for years) and no girl likes it. my looks are okay i guess. but im slow at talking and not very witty in conversations. But, right now, i love this girl at my school. shes just turned 17. and so is 1year and a half older. but, i want to be hers and her be mine. i want to get to know her. i have built up a sort of picture of what personality she has. she goes to the library (i think...might have been someone else) and isnt a slutty girl like some who go out with boys whole time. seems like nice girl. and i want to have her, kiss her, and do her. but... i have these dreams...and they dont come true...i feel as if i never will know a girl and be happy with her. this matter is made worse by the fact that I CANNOT POSSIBLY EVER HAVE A GIRL because my voice is screwed up. loads of people say its weird....and it is! its messed up! i want a manly voice...ive tried punching my larynx for hope that one day it will like change and i can have a different voice. because i will never be able to have the confidence or be able to attact a girl if i have this voice....never...i know there are children in africa with disease. but the point is their aims are different from mine. please, someone help my dilemma...i seriosu seriosuly want a girl....i just cant have my dreams come true for some reason. please....that will be the day when i go ice skating with my girlfriend..... PLEASE...ITS YOU GUYS WHO CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN. PLEASE TELL ME WHAT TO DO...AND TELL ME IF YOU KNOW ANY EXERCISES WHICH I CAN DO DAILY OR SOMETHING TO CHANGE MY VOICE...THANK YOU SO SO SO SO MUCH FOR EVERY SHRED OF HELP!!!! I LOVE YOU PEOPLE...PLEASE, I REALLY WANT TO DO THIS!!!! Link to comment
MetallicAguy Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 But, right now, i love this girl at my school. shes just turned 17. and so is 1year and a half older. but, i want to be hers and her be mine. i want to get to know her. i have built up a sort of picture of what personality she has. she goes to the library (i think...might have been someone else) and isnt a slutty girl like some who go out with boys whole time. seems like nice girl. and i want to have her, kiss her, and do her. but... i have these dreams...and they dont come true...i feel as if i never will know a girl and be happy with her. You are INFATUATED, your not in love with the girl. ive tried punching my larynx for hope that one day it will like change and i can have a different voice. I think that'll do more harm than good lmao. Dude, your not going to do an exercise to change your voice hahahaha, your just going to have to let your body hit puberty. Everyone hits it, your just a late bloomer. ...i feel as if i never will know a girl and be happy with her. How about you first STOP RELYING ON WOMEN FOR HAPPINESS and go find some hobbies! Women aren't attracted to boring clingy, desperate nice guys, so go make yourself appealing by working on your personality. And, if this girl you "love", is like a year and a half older, i highly doubt she's going to want to go out with you anyhow, your 15 she's 17. Unless there's something REALLY appealing about you, or your really good-looking. Which 98% of the time never happens lol. Just find some hobbies, stop thinking about women. Link to comment
Kyoshiro Ogari Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 Wow. i have built up a sort of picture of what personality she has. Stop right there. Here lies the problem. You are not being fair to either of you. You are obsessing with an image. And you are imagining what she is like. You are blindly painting a picture. What if she is 100% opposite of what you think she is? Will you still obsess with her? If you do, then it's back to obsessing with the image alone. And that is far from loving someone. and i want to have her, kiss her, and do her. but... i have these dreams...and they dont come true...i feel as if i never will know a girl and be happy with her. Is she the standard for your future with girls? And the way you described it, I think you are only in this for sex. Maybe the ice skating, but that'll only come before the sex. I am sorry, but that's what I think this is about. I agree with MetallicAGuy, she is about 18 months older than you, so she may not see you in that way. Trust me, you do not want to think about a girl you don't know and then have her crush your heart like a ripe tomato. Ever go to a concert that you thought was going to be great, only to see that it stunk? Well, love's disappointment is 100 times worse than that. this matter is made worse by the fact that I CANNOT POSSIBLY EVER HAVE A GIRL because my voice is screwed up. loads of people say its weird....and it is! its messed up! i want a manly voice...ive tried punching my larynx for hope that one day it will like change and i can have a different voice. because i will never be able to have the confidence or be able to attact a girl if i have this voice....never...i know there are children in africa with disease. but the point is their aims are different from mine. Where did that come from. I am actually glad you brought that up because it can be relevant to your voice issues. I don't think it's right to compare starving children in Africa to someone wanting a different voice. Take a child out of Africa, give him your family and a squeaky voice and they'll be in Heaven because they are out of poverty. If you received a manly voice but you're starving in Africa, you'd appreciate all the other things you had more than you do now. In other words, your voice is the least of your worries. You're young so I understand where you are coming from. Pimples, height, skinny, all of these little nick nacks will bother us at your age because we want to be perfect. But my friend, I have never heard of a girl turning down a guy because of his voice. Think about it, why would she do that? Is there a good reason? And if she turned you down because you have a funny voice, how would you feel about her afterwards. It would be rather silly of her to do that. Maybe you'll grow out of it. Maybe you won't. But if you are really uncomfortable with your voice, then why not turn it into a positive. Have a sense of humor about it. Girls love guys who make them laugh. Get to know her, but don't mention how you feel about your voice. Complaining about a flaw you have will only enhance that flaw. Leave it be. If you want to have a humor about it, try faking a deep voice and say something funny. I believe they will admire you if you are comfortable with what other see as a "bad thing", which it is not by the way. it shows courage and pride. You have an entire body that has wonderful gifts and traits. If you let that teeny weeny voice box conquer your entire body, then you've lost a battle that should not exist in the first place. Link to comment
make_up_your_mind Posted January 14, 2006 Author Share Posted January 14, 2006 WOW. Thanks MetallicaGuy and Kyoshiro. That's really helpful. I guess I can leave the 'infatuation' alone. That leaves my voice though. I could try to see what happens with puberty. But what if it don't? I think my voice is already broken most of it...it's just sounds stupid...But, then again i guess if I were to becomne an adult with a idiotic voice, then I could just try to take prise in it But, I really really really don't want to sound like some of the adults I've heard in this world. More and more I fear I will like one of them. I don't...and I dont want to live with it... Link to comment
Markers Posted January 14, 2006 Share Posted January 14, 2006 It doesn't matter what your voice sounds like. It's important what you say with it. I know girls with weird voices but it just doesn't matter at all, wouldn't be a turn off. Link to comment
make_up_your_mind Posted January 14, 2006 Author Share Posted January 14, 2006 Thanks, Markers. But, I don't want to date a girl with a weird voice. and thereforeeee, I increasingly get the feeling that that's the same for most girls dating boys...they won't want a one who has a werid voice. As I'm getting the feeling that puberty is going to betray me and not happen or has happened, then I've done some research and discovered some stuff about oral-motor exercises. Can anyone here advise me of what I could do to change my voice/ make it deeper? And whether I should carry out these exercises. Link to comment
Kyoshiro Ogari Posted January 14, 2006 Share Posted January 14, 2006 Markers is right, it's what you say with your voice. I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV, but I don't think you can change your voice. I think an operation on your larynx will do much more harm than good. Maybe singing lessons can help you change your voice. Thanks, Markers. But, I don't want to date a girl with a weird voice. and thereforeeee, I increasingly get the feeling that that's the same for most girls dating boys...they won't want a one who has a werid voice. Interesting that you said this. You made an assumption, not a fact. And you made it based on what you want, which can be the worst assumption of all. That is not fair to you or the girls you are interested in. I still think you should have a sense of humor about it. Here is a little topic that I googled. Read the last paragraph it may give you hope. link removed And here is a page dedicated to helping those who need help with their speech. link removed Link to comment
make_up_your_mind Posted January 14, 2006 Author Share Posted January 14, 2006 CooL! Thank you Kyoshiro! I guess there's plenty of time for my voice to change...hopefully! Also, sorry about assuming about girls with werid voices. I mean, the hottest girl in my school (man, is she hot!!!! ), has a really werid voice. But, yeh...thanks . I'll check out this oralmotor site. And... I WILL build my self-esteem! And my confidence! Yeh!!!!! It's time to kick some butt - i actually mean the 'a' variant, but it censors that. Thank you guys!!!!!!! and gals!!!!! Link to comment
Kyoshiro Ogari Posted January 14, 2006 Share Posted January 14, 2006 Awesome attitude! That's the way to conquer any problem you face, full speed ahead! It's funny, the girl I had a MAJOR crush on in high school talked with a serious lisp. I noticed it when she first talked, but never paid attention to it afterwards because I was so smitten. Link to comment
make_up_your_mind Posted January 14, 2006 Author Share Posted January 14, 2006 Oh yeh, also ONE QUICK QUESTION. DO any of you think if I train hard with a special fitness and strength program, I will build up my body, making it muscly. And thus, the muscles in my face and nose and throat will grow bigger because of my extra training, and thus the sound will vibrate in my face more and thus be deeper? EH? Think it helps? Look at Arnie Shwwharhzeniggigiger, for example. Link to comment
make_up_your_mind Posted January 14, 2006 Author Share Posted January 14, 2006 also, Kyoshiro, just for the record. Is New york really cool? Cos I live in London, UK. And I wanna come to NEw York and live in a really tall skyscraper flat..and go and have breakfast at tiffanys and stuff. (with tiffany ) ....whoever and whatever breakfast at tiffanys is, cos i actually havent seen breakfast at tiffanys or read breakfast in tiffanys or whatever kind of material or book or film breakfast at tiffanys might be. but what the helll, i still what breakfast at tiffanys wherever breafast at tiffanys is, if breakfast at tiffanys exists. ...which it probably doesnt. Link to comment
2pac4live Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 Hey, I agree with MetallicAguy and Kyoshiro Ogari... You're obviously deep into puberty (the dreams) and don’t be so obsessed with your voice...verbal, makes up only around 30% of your communication when you talk to people (heard somewhere). And the way you talk is usually at the end of the list of the things a girl will remember about a guy...unless its reaaallly different... For instance, one of my friend’s voices sounds not far off from a girls but he scores more chicks then a tampon's section of the supermarket... Forget about the body building, if you think it will improve your voice in some mystical way... Singing help's..It gives you an enormous leap in vocal control... The bottom line is... Stop being so obsessive, it comes out..and girls can smell it... And it can freak them out sometimes... Stop dreaming all these wacky, wild movie like dreams... At least don't do it as frequently... Just let it come to you...be opened up, outgoing... don't sweat over getting a girlfriend... just stick your head out for as much mixed gender social contact as you can...and before you know it things will change... Link to comment
FamousAmos Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 hey dude dont worry im 14 and a half and my voice isnt really deep yet purberty will make ur voice turn deep and manly soon Link to comment
John Smith Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 I know, how you feel. Girls think I'm good- looking, but like you, I have a speech problem. I stutter all the time, but especially, when im around girls. Ive never had a girlfrined either. Don't be too down on urself. I don't know if u believe in God, and i hope ur not offended by wat im about to tell you. God made you who u r for a reason. You can't improve on God, so dont try. Who cares if your voice isnt that great. if the girl wont go out w/ u for that reason, then u hsouldnt go for her anyways. Love is more than just kissing and stuff. Love is about ur future. Ur heart will make a connection, regardless of wat ur brain thinks. but the way i see it, if ur heart and mind are opposing, its lust, if they are in agreement, its love. All u need is a little help in building ur confidence. I know how hard it is. my friend tried to get me to the girl i liked, but i couldnt i was to afraid. i dialed her number, and just held the phone. Then u think... is she worth it? If u cant call her, or talk to her, then uve lost ur chance. just holding the phone gave me confidence, so, i hit the call button. trust me, i knwo wat ur going through, but dont worry. All i can say, is believe in God, and trust in him, and everything will turn out ok. it might not be right away, even those who believe in God have problems, but its worth it in the end. trust me. Good luck, and God Bless Link to comment
make_up_your_mind Posted January 17, 2006 Author Share Posted January 17, 2006 Hey guys. Thanks everyone for the wonderful advice. For instance, one of my friend's voices sounds not far off from a girls but he scores more chicks then a tampon's section of the supermarket... Hehehe, 2pac. Also, that thing about singing is quite interesting. I can't sing for ****. And also can't count rhythm or anything. Maybe that's a reason? I will try to be less obsessive and just be more calm, cool, and calculated, and stuff... John Smith: Thanks for your help as well. Yes, I do believe in God. It really does help. He really does help. I guess I'll just take things as they are, don't get too worked up or depressed...and wait for that right moment!!!! Yeaaaa!!!! Link to comment
Markers Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 you believe in God? See Matthew 6: 25-34 it's just what you want to remember. You can extend the meaning out of clothes etc. to everything that you need. Link to comment
Kyoshiro Ogari Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 also, Kyoshiro, just for the record. Is New york really cool? Cos I live in London, UK. And I wanna come to NEw York and live in a really tall skyscraper flat..and go and have breakfast at tiffanys and stuff. (with tiffany ) ....whoever and whatever breakfast at tiffanys is, cos i actually havent seen breakfast at tiffanys or read breakfast in tiffanys or whatever kind of material or book or film breakfast at tiffanys might be. but what the helll, i still what breakfast at tiffanys wherever breafast at tiffanys is, if breakfast at tiffanys exists. ...which it probably doesnt. I don't know if there is a Tiffanys, I would guess there is. New York is so awesome and massive. If you ever came to New York and want a spectacular view of the city, Brooklyn has some of the best places with the best views. I can see the skyline from my window but it's too far to appreciate the beauty. But I love NY... and I can't wait to leave lol. I need to move to a tropical island or Hawaii, just for a change. Link to comment
make_up_your_mind Posted January 18, 2006 Author Share Posted January 18, 2006 Thanks Markers. I will look it up when I get hold of a bible. Although, I'm just a makeshift God person. I believe in God. But, I don't really go by any certain religions or anything. Like sometimes, I serve my revenge! And sometimes I turn the other cheek! Anyways, thanks Kyoshiro. That's well cool. Skyscrapers with all that! " "!Rg! I also want to check out Hawaii sometime after my GCSEs exams this summer, hopefully. I want to go lie on the beaches and * * * *. Maybe even find some natives chicas!!!! Or maybe some americana tourists. But, we can all dream.... Yeh, cool Cya people. Oh, I'm also threading something new so you guys should check out please Link to comment
Markers Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 ohh well I figured you were a christian because you wrote God with capital... that's the rule - made by christians of course Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now