what did it take?

[minnie]

Just a quick question, for both genders really.

 

Say you have just broken up with someone... they are begging and pleading for another chance... ](*,) What did you do to show them that you were serious and didn't want to get back with them?

 

OR

 

You were the one that was dumped. What did the other person do, that made you take a step back and think "they are really not interested anymore"

 

All input is good input X x x

[DN]

I said, more or less: "I am serious and I don't want to get back with you."

 

Usually the best way to get a point accross is to mean what you say and say it simply and very clearly.

[annie24]

I yelled through the phone, "You are the WORST boyfriend I've ever had in my life! EVER! DO NOT EVER CALL ME OR CONTACT ME AGAIN!!!!!!!"

 

And then I avoided all phone calls from him from then on.

[the yang to the worlds yin]

just tell them that you feel it's best for both parties, if you went your separate ways. tell them you'd like to remain civil but if they start going overboard about getting back together, that, that may make it difficult to be quite as civil.

 

good luck, but in all due fairness, that other person or yourself probably's going through a really hard time right now.

[ElektraHere]

Hi There,

 

When I went out with the last guy he told me that i deserved better and that I should stop calling him, emailing him, and texting him. He was the one who enforced NC. It was hard since we hit it off so well. The funny thing is he texted me 3 times last month and has even called a few times. I let them all go and have not responded because he was the one who said NC.

 

There is no easy way to say it without hurting the persons feelings. It's kind of like a band-aid you have to rip it off all at once and it will hurt at first but the pain goes away.

[DN]

I yelled through the phone, "You are the WORST boyfriend I've ever had in my life! EVER! DO NOT EVER CALL ME OR CONTACT ME AGAIN!!!!!!!"

 

And then I avoided all phone calls from him from then on.

 

You mean he still called? - what a brave guy!!

[annie24]

What a bonehead, is more like it.

[JMevo]

I was the dumpee...

 

I think the message was clear when after 3 months she got engaged

 

At that point, all I could say was congrats and wish her the best.

[RayKay]

Say you have just broken up with someone... they are begging and pleading for another chance... ](*,) What did you do to show them that you were serious and didn't want to get back with them?

 

Made sure there were no "lead ons" - did not sleep with them, limited contact, did not tell them things like "maybe in the future...I still love you....maybe we will have another chance...I am confused...". Basically said "it's over..." and stuck to it.

 

 

 

You were the one that was dumped. What did the other person do, that made you take a step back and think "they are really not interested anymore"

 

They told me they had to get moving, as they were going on a date at 11:00 at night (that's a booty call, not a date!) with a woman they had met a couple nights before.

 

Or...I had a similar experience when they were engaged within 6 months.

[Lady Bugg]

For one guy it took a restraining order and prison time. Some people NEVER learn.

[LiquidCherry]

One ex of mine when I ended things refused to accept it. I had to cut off all communication with him.

 

A few weeks ago I spoke with him online, I didn't realize I still had his sn and he asked how my father was doing. I told him my father had gotten remarried and he replied, "I know, we were supposed to go together but we got into a fight the day before so we didn't." To which I said, "We were already broken up long before that. I was living with somebody else, somebody else I was ENGAGED to." He said, "Oh. I went kind of crazy for awhile."

 

Another ex of mine who dumped me cut off all contact. I tried calling him once and he said, "Why are you calling me? Don't call me again." That got the point accross.

 

I find that the dumpee, be it me or someone else has a harder time accepting that the break up is final if there is contact.

[Shadows Light]

NC all the way. Any conversations about the relationship, rehashing it, is non-productive. Mine sucked me back in by using the "I need closure ploy... I derserve closure".. well that just put me back into the ring.

 

NC. And if you have to have contact. Cool, unemotional.. monotone voice. Stick to the topic ie KIDS.. and thats it. As soon as the conversation veers.. hang-up.

 

And after the slew of email... "WHAT PART OF NO DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND... N -O... absolutely NOT."

[Frangipani]

Made sure there were no "lead ons" - limited contact, did not tell them things like "maybe in the future...I still love you....maybe we will have another chance...I am confused...".

 

Yeah well mine should have done this as he was seeing someone (and still is) else...but he didn't and hasn't. I had all the I love yous, still want a future etc. So I had to initiate NC.

[minnie]

Thanks guys, i think the main point here is meaning what you say and sticking to it. I have been NC since Nov 30, he has tried to call but i hang up. But he is on holiday right now now and is due back soon, i know its going to get harder and hope that he wont turnin up outside my house everyday.

I dont want to be rude, but i suppose after a certain time you have to be!