need help

[pissedoff]

hi all, 2 make this short. gf and i dated for 4 years. broke up two months ago because we were getting ready to get to get engaged and i wouldnt make the effort to get to know her parents better. they live 14 hours away. we are both 27. i know, i should have made a better attempt. i would do anything now, trust me. so she went to go hang out with a pro golfer the next weekend after we broke up. she knew him before me. she came back said she didnt love me anymore. couple of weeks go by and she says she misses me and wants to work things out, so we start hanging out again. well, her parents hate me and the pro golfer had asked her to go to hawaii and her parents told her she was an idiot if she didnt go. and that they would never accept me into their family. so she went to make her parents happy and told me we would get back together when she got back and she would tell her parents he was an * * *. well she got back and blew me off and told me she had sex with him. this was two days ago. well today i had my friend (girl) text her and told her we were dating now and to leave me alone. this made her very jealous. was this wrong? i love her and want her to be happy but after letting me down, i was like screw her. will the jealousy make her realize she has made a huge mistake or am i just a tool? i started yesterday with the no contact so we will see what happens.

[Tigris]

I'm sorry but I think this relationship is not going to work.

 

Yes, I agree you should've made an effort with her parents. I also think her parents have a lot of influence over her. I'm not totally convinced she loved you as much as you thought she did otherwise she wouldn't have been so eager to be with him.

 

I hope you meet someone more genuine soon.

 

Good luck

[timbohn]

I am very tempted to try a something similiar. So I KNOW how your feeling.... I think it is wrong but you know what they say...All's fair in love and war...But I can not pull the trigger. I am tempted though.

[Ms Omaniac]

oh dear...

youre playing a dangerous game that may backfire on you.

i understand she is jealous. but sometimes...instead of rushing towards you...they get hurt and rush towards the person you wish they'd avoid. instead...they avoid you because you hurt them...and totally delve into the new person.

youre playing with fire and intense emotions and trickery....be careful. it might blow up in your face.

[Relationship Coach]

PO'd,

Welcome to ENA glad you found us.

 

Let's jump right in to this:

 

You are both 27, why are the two of you are letting her parents run/ruin your lives? Big mistake! Should you have gotten to know her parents, yes because it will help you learn more about her(and why she is as shallow as she is, hindsight of course). You could have learned a hard lesson in 2 years rather than in 4.

 

As for her "Free" trip to Hawaii, no surprise there! You can thank her parents once again for telling her what to do. Let the Pro Golfer have her, she will be fun for him for about 18 holes and then he will move on. She clearly doesn't love you and is easily swayed by money and her parents. This sounds like a lifetime (her parents) of major problems for you.

 

Now, when you play games there is a winner and a loser. You're rolling the dice and trying to win a prize which costs less than the game itself. Kind of like when you spend $20 at the carnival and walk away with a $2 miniature stuffed teddy bear looking thing. You lose if she has zero reaction and you will lose if she comes back to you, trust me on this. What you need to do is leave game playing to children, you're 27. You need to focus on getting over her and on with your life.

 

As I see it, you wasted 4 years of your life, how much more time are you willing to waste? Find a mature thinking woman who can think for herself without her parents constant influence. Good Luck.

 

RC

[pissedoff]

thanks for all the great advice. yeah i know im sinking to her level with all the game playing, but i got desperate. trust me i want to get over her and move on, but its hard, especially when two weeks ago she said she wanted me to "make her happy forever". and now do i believe that, well i guess not, but i kind of did because she wouldnt have spent four years with me otherwise. as far as her parents go, i know it is childish, she does everything they say and it is rediculous. even if we never worked things out, i guess i was just trying to hurt her a little bit, considering the hell she put me through when she was in hawaii. i know its sad, but unfortunately true. well i just kind of wanted a womans or a mans perspective of what she is feeling after the text messages. one of her friends called me and told me she was upset at work, so i guess it got to her a little bit. please understand im not wanting to be an * * *, but she treated me like dog doo last week. but keep the comments coming. thanks very much!