I don't know where to turn

[Ruthlah]

I'm doing rather well in my life, but I can't shake this exboyfriend thing. We've been split for over 3 months now, but it's just a nagging that won't leave my mind. I haven't been showering or brushing my teeth, really (I know it's gross) but I just don't want to. I feel like my friends are worried about me, I haven't been able to eat really either. I quit drinking so I could feel happier, and I really do I guess, or less depressed anyway.

 

I've been told I should think about taking antidepressants, but I'm really nervous about it. Everyone I know that has taken them gets so depressed they're almost suicidal when they stop taking them. I know I'm depressed right now, but I don't want to become dependant on something I don't need forever.

 

I feel like there is more I could do to show my ex how horrible I've been and how sorry I am for the messed up things that happened.

 

What's really messed up, is that I know he was really horrible to me too and I don't know why I still have this urge to be near him and talk to him and laugh with him. He says he doesn't want to talk to me because I started seeing someone briefly after we broke up, but really he was pretty adiment about us not being friends before that even happened. He rarely picked up the phone, and when he did he screamed at me and told me he hates me and everything.

 

God I wish I could just turn back time and have given him his space. Why couldn't I do it? I knew that if someone was calling me crying all the time I would be uspet too, but I just couldn't stop myself. It was like breathing or something. I wish he would just give me one day to spill my heart, whether he forgives me or not, just so I know I've apologized for everything on my end.

 

I feel like this pain will never go away, I had a best friend who moved to CA and once he got there he never accepted my calls or ever called me back. I found him on myspace and wrote him, and he didn't write me back. This was over 3 years ago, but I still get panic attacks and hysterically cry over missing him so much. I feel like I will always cry over Ryan since I never got the closeur that I need.

 

I just want to stay in bed and never get up. Which really is what I've been doing now that I think about it

[darkblue]

If you think you are depressed - you need to see a doctor.

Anti-depressants are not addictive, and you would not become dependant from taking them.

 

If you feel that you still need closure - tell him.

Email or write to him.

 

Therapy may also be beneficial - but you should consult a doctor on that one to see what's best for you.

[Danny H]

yes I 2nd dark blue, i have been on them before, coming off was not a problem, ssrs that is not the tri-cyclics ( which made me grumpy).

 

They are good for cutting down obssession/compulsion cycle

 

 

Dan

[darkblue]

SSRIs are good for anxiety, too.

[Hope75]

My best friend went through a terrible time and was on antidepressants for awhile too. She felt loads better on them and when her life began to turn around, she weaned herself off them with the assistance of her MD and now she's off them completely and had no trouble.

 

Your concerns are valid, and you should really be talking about them with your doctor.

[Relationship Coach]

I've been told I should think about taking antidepressants, but I'm really nervous about it. Everyone I know that has taken them gets so depressed they're almost suicidal when they stop taking them. I know I'm depressed right now, but I don't want to become dependant on something I don't need forever.

 

What you need to be concerned about is you, not how they effected everyone else you know. You did become dependent on something that you don't need forever, him.

 

You are making excuses for not wanting to get over your depressive state and the source of it, very common. You need to seriously look in to being treated for your depression so you can start the healing process and brush your teeth or you'll need a dentist as well.

 

I feel like this pain will never go away, I had a best friend who moved to CA and once he got there he never accepted my calls or ever called me back. I found him on myspace and wrote him, and he didn't write me back. This was over 3 years ago, but I still get panic attacks and hysterically cry over missing him so much. I feel like I will always cry over Ryan since I never got the closeur that I need.

 

You seem to be suffering from a form of separation anxiety. Did you ever think that Ryan was your best friend but you were not his best friend? Did you possibly overburden him with your problems without considering his own?

 

 

As painful as this is to hear, you need to realize that this guy does not want you back and he does not want you to contact him. Closure is not the issue here, reality is. Get medical help and realize you can be happy and healthy again, it's your choice. You can destroy yourself or you can get your funky butt out of bed, take a shower, brush your teeth and feel alive again.

[NoMoreWill]

SSRIs are good for anxiety, too.

 

I would highly recommend not taking any SSRI. I was on one for anxiety and it made me angry and aggressive and it took me two months to get over them (cold turkey). The withdrawals are terrible. Yes, the body becomes addicted to them. Look up:

 

I am not saying don't take anti-depressants but be very careful. I know that the particular drug I was on wasn't for me but I am very weary these days of taking any drug that messes with the chemistry of my brain. I'd much rather be slightly anxious than angry and slightly suicidal (these feelings multipled when I stopped taking them).

 

Research is always best.

[darkblue]

NoMoreWill, that's an unfortunate experience - and quite rare with SSRIs.

Your withdrawal symptoms are unique to how you react to the drugs.

The fact that you were taking them for anxiety alone is significant. I am saying that with patients with depression - SSRIs can have some positive inpact on the anxiety that normally comes with depression.

[NoMoreWill]

NoMoreWill, that's an unfortunate experience - and quite rare with SSRIs.

 

I don't share your opinion on rarity. But that's for another thread -- I don't want to hijack.

 

 

[Mizzy]

I agree SSRI's can be really dangerous - have a look at the Paxil Progress site. My ex had a really bad time coming off them (the main reason we split) and there is a lot of really bad press.

 

Sorry don't want to influence but having gone through this nightmare withdrawal with someone thought you should be aware.

[Relationship Coach]

SSRI's can be good for some and bad for others. That is why there are multiple SSRI's on the market. Like antibiotics, everyone reacts differently to them. I think making a generalization about them is incorrect either good or bad. The problem is, they are unfortunately handed out like candy by doctors without proper follow up. Remember many drugs on the market today were used in mental hospitals under strict guidance and monitoring. I think a better understanding of the drug should be given to a patient as what to expect and what to be aware of. These medicines have to be taken on a strict schedule and consuming food and beverages needs to be monitored as well. Caffeine and alcohol can also create adverse reactions as well as other over the counter medicines. Too much control has been given to the patient. Again, these are drugs that need to be used under supervision until a positive or negative result is noted.