Should I Be Worried...

[becky23]

I am new here, but I just had a question regarding my boyfriend of 2.5 years.

 

We have had a bit of a rocky relationship, but have recently patched things up.

 

We have broken up before but always managed to get back together. During the course of our relationship he has been unfaithful, but only under pretense that we were in a BAD place. I personally think that cheating under any circumstances is not right, but he apologized, and we have moved forward.

 

He does have a great anger problem, never physical yet, but he has made motions to hit me, and gets SO angry and yells and cusses at me when he gets mad.

 

It seems that the smallest things bother him, and he holds grudges for a long time, that is how he has always been.,

 

Anyways, to get to the point, I went through his phone the other day, I KNOW IT WASNT RIGHT, but I had to know if I was investing my time and love in him again, that he was being true to his word.

 

Sure enough, there was a text to a girl saying are you coming by? This was on a friday night, and he HAD invited me that night to stay over, but I just wanted to see him sat instead since i was tired.

 

That was all the text said, but i went back a couple days I saw a text to a girl saying, "hey babe" He does call women other than me babe SOMETIMES, so I didn't know if i should read into it or not. She textd him on New years saying, "happy new years" and he didn't text her back till the next morning with a simple, "Happy new year."

 

AM I reading into this too much?? Maybe this was just a girl he met when we had been broken up for 3 weeks. He always wants me over the whole weekend all the time, and isnt acting too suspicios. He says im the only girl I am with and he swears by it. Do you think he is set on trying with me again and this girl he was texting is no threat..

[Danny H]

hard to say.

Some people seem to be text machines.

I know one guy who has a mass of girls on text all the time, but they mean nothing but just friends.

 

It would be worrying the text that said " are you coming by" but maybe you can find out what he did friday by just asking " what did you do friday, love ?"

 

If he squirms out a non believable bunch of stuff, be on alert.

 

Having said that, this is the problem with looking at loved ones text messages.

 

You are now in a tough place.

 

 

Dan

[heavensent]

Unfortunately, I would say "yes" you should be concerned and I think you have a completely valid reason to search through his phone.

I was cheated on by a guy I was with for a year. I trusted him blindly until the last month of our relationship when he got this new job. He got a message from some girl on his phone that said "I really need to talk to you, I need you right now". She did not say his name in the message so he tried to play it off like the girl had the wrong number. So I told him I was going to call the number back that called, when I went to his missed calls in his phone book on his cell, he had deleted it. I knew then that he was lying. One night I was doing a photo-shoot (I model) and his phone rang, he left the room to talk and when I was done with the shoot I went upstairs to where he was talking on the phone. He hung up quickly and told me it was his mom, I checked and knew it was not his mom's cell phone number. Needless to say, I called the number back later the next day and talked to this girl. He worked with him and had been going to lunch with her every day. She told me she was married but that they did have feelings for eacother. He lied and said she was just a friend that needed someone to talk to. Instead of seeing all the red flags I chose to believe him.

Well, a few weeks later, I went to his apartment (I have a key) to surprise him and I'm the one who got the surprise. To find him in bed having sex with another girl. A very UGLY girl might I add! I was horrified. I lost my temper and assaulted him and the girl. It was horrible.

Believe it or not, I never spoke to him again after that night. That was closure enough for me.

Basically, I don't want you to have the go through the same thing I did.

I say research, be snoopy, follow him, surprise him at home when he thinks your not able to, call the phone numbers and ask questions. Your bound to find answers and you deserve them. But once you do, don't stay or believe what you want to hear.

Hey, you may even find out he is being 100% faithful. Then you can get rid of that anxiety and worry that I'm sure wrenches your gut every day!

[LiquidCherry]

I can be snoopy and it's always a sign of mistrust. I'd say it's better to be with someone who doesn't give you that urge to snoop..

[becky23]

Thank you all for the posts!

 

Im pretty sad right now. I texd my bfriend on my lunch break, and he didn't respond. I text him back 45 min later and told him that i hope he has a good day, and I feel stupid when I text him and he never gets back.

 

He responded with, "how old are you??" Then he called and we talked and he hung up on me, asking me, "Is this ALL you have to offer me??" CLICK...

 

Ive been trying to apologize for my text but he just textd back, "whatever" and now he wont answer or respond.

 

He hurts me so much and im so sick of this! Should I end it with him. He has NO patience with me, and he will probably hold this grudge for a long time and not let me forget the little text i sent that pissed him off so much. Everything I do he can't let go!