mgirl Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 I hereby solemnly swear to stop assuming all men are only after "one thing"... ...just as soon as all men stop assuming that all women are either after their money or looking for a daddy for their kids. ROFL, good point! Link to comment
darkblue Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 I'm going to go with the latter.......... Yeah, me too... Link to comment
MissJones Posted January 5, 2006 Author Share Posted January 5, 2006 However, I think that as time has gone on, more and more men (and maybe women) want these non-committal relationships.I've often wondered if all these non-commital people are as non-committal as they'd have us believe. I think deep down most of us want just one person and to be adored but I also think in this current culture many people say they don't want committment because they don't want to get rejected by the other person who says they don't want a commitment. So many people don't know where they stand anymore and are often too afraid to find out. I don't want a commitment to just any guy but I'd love a commitment to a wonderful guy who adores me just as much as I adore him. But unfortunately, being the chicken that I am, he'd have to make his feelings clear first. I'm sure I've lost out on a few guys before because I come accross as indifferent and non-commital, when in fact I'm terrified of getting rejected and hurt by that rejection. Does that make any sense? Link to comment
mgirl Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 Our culture has become non-committal about EVERYTHING! Try getting someone to stick with one tv channel while there are commercials........ I know, i just wish things would go back to normal again Link to comment
mgirl Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 I've often wondered if all these non-commital people are as non-committal as they'd have us believe. I think deep down most of us want just one person and to be adored but I also think in this current culture many people say they don't want committment because they don't want to get rejected by the other person who says they don't want a commitment. So many people don't know where they stand anymore and are often too afraid to find out. I don't want a commitment to just any guy but I'd love a commitment to a wonderful guy who adores me just as much as I adore him. Does that make any sense? Yes it does. Do you think people say they are non-commital to 'fit in'? I know lots of guys who sleep around and i just don't understand how they could crave so much sex ... but that's just me. Maybe i am a prude . Link to comment
darkblue Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 Quote: Our culture has become non-committal about EVERYTHING! Try getting someone to stick with one tv channel while there are commercials........ I know, i just wish things would go back to normal again Have I walked into a bitter-women forum? Oh, please - it's not that no one wants committment anymore. It's just trying to find someone who is worth committment. Link to comment
darkblue Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 Yes it does. Do you think people say they are non-commital to 'fit in'? I know lots of guys who sleep around and i just don't understand how they could crave so much sex ... but that's just me. Maybe i am a prude . I know women who do the exact same thing... Link to comment
mgirl Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 But there is not satisfaction in that sort of transient lifestyle, but sometimes it takes time and experience to realise that. One would only hope by then it is not too late. Link to comment
MissJones Posted January 5, 2006 Author Share Posted January 5, 2006 Yes it does. Do you think people say they are non-commital to 'fit in'? I know lots of guys who sleep around and i just don't understand how they could crave so much sex ... but that's just me. Maybe i am a prude .I'm sure many people say that they're non-commital to fit in. Definitely. I think some guys, like girls, sleep around just for the physical affection and maybe even with the hope of falling for someone. I've known a lot of people who do that. I crave sex an awful lot but it's not in my nature to sleep around. I also don't believe that sleeping with a guy is going to make him like me. He'll like me regardless of whether or not I sleep with him. I've never done that. But it still doesn't stop me craving sex Link to comment
KweenofDenyl Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 perhaps the commitment thing is more of an issue for american men than their counterparts elsewhere in the world? Link to comment
mgirl Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 No, i'm not bitter, just an old fashioned romantic . Link to comment
darkblue Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 Now why do you see this as bitter women here? It's more just a change in how society acts in GENERAL---men and women. I believe that attitude is pervasive in many areas today. I'm sorry - but saying that there is no such thing as a loving, committing and compatible man in the world is bitter! I don't think people are being less committing - and if they were; I welcome it! Maybe then, there won't be such high divorce rates. Link to comment
darkblue Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 perhaps the commitment thing is more of an issue for american men than their counterparts elsewhere in the world? Possibly. But I am trying to steer this away from generalizations... LOL Link to comment
darkblue Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 No, i'm not bitter, just an old fashioned romantic . The story of my life... Link to comment
mgirl Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 Well, i have experience with women and i would like to say that they are equally non-commital at times and they definitely suffer from the quick-fix syndrome that many of our friends, acquaintences and otherwise, suffer from Link to comment
darkblue Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 And another thing: Obviously not the majority of women share your value of committment - otherwise men wouldn't be able to just 'sleep around'. They would have to get into a relationship in order to 'get what they want' Link to comment
KweenofDenyl Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 You're right darkblue, generalities don't help. Perhaps I'm too cynical (isn't that a much nicer word than bitter?) but I only meet men who want someone younger (!), with a trust fund and a body by victoria. rather tired of it actually. Link to comment
mgirl Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 Well, i guess men want to spread their 'seed'. Humans are, afterall, mammals and are born to re-produce. Link to comment
darkblue Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 Ugh - it's painfully true. There are two obvious sub-topics here: Rejection, and Wanting different things. The rejection is simple. You can either choose to go out on a limb and hope that they think the same - or never know... That can be easily remedied. But I don't know how many times I have come accross posts, and had experience of a woman not wanting a relationship, but knowing they had feelings for me. That doesn't make sense in my books. It may be to do with experience, or trying to find this 'perfect guy' (who doesn't exist, BTW) Link to comment
darkblue Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 You're right darkblue, generalities don't help. Perhaps I'm too cynical (isn't that a much nicer word than bitter?) but I only meet men who want someone younger (!), with a trust fund and a body by victoria. rather tired of it actually. You are not old!! And not all men are superficial, shallow and egotistical apes... Coincidentally, I read a stat the other day about how 80% of divorced men re-marry someone younger... Go figure.. (If that wasn't subtle enough - they want power and domination of the relationship) Link to comment
MissJones Posted January 5, 2006 Author Share Posted January 5, 2006 And another thing: Obviously not the majority of women share your value of committment - otherwise men wouldn't be able to just 'sleep around'. They would have to get into a relationship in order to 'get what they want' And the more I read this thread, the more I believe there'd be many guys out there thinking "are there any decent women around". The more we get ourselves into situations that don't suit us and the more we continue to do this, the more skewed our perceptions of the opposite sex become. I know that in my case, I mainly have myself to blame for how I feel at the moment. Maybe I'm angry at myself more than anything. If I'd been bitten by a few Labradors in my life, would I think that most Labradors bite? I probably would when in reality, they don't. 1 Link to comment
mgirl Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 Ouch! I would hate to think that a man would commit to a relationship with me just for sex! Good point though. Link to comment
darkblue Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 Well, i guess men want to spread their 'seed'. Humans are, afterall, mammals and are born to re-produce. Yep. Both men and women. These instincts are tuned into us and give us the compelling urge to reproduce.. Link to comment
mgirl Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 I think everybody is just nervous and insecure in general and they are nervous about 'committing' to the right person. Perhaps also, people are not trusting their instincts enough. Don't your instincts tell you whether he or she is the right one, or close to being the right one? Link to comment
darkblue Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 Absolutely. And the more I read this thread, the more I believe there'd be many guys out there thinking "are there any decent women around". The more we get ourselves into situations that don't suit us and the more we continue to do this, the more skewed our perceptions of the opposite sex become. I know that in my case, I mainly have myself to blame for how I feel at the moment. Maybe I'm angry at myself more than anything. If I'd been bitten by a few Labradors in my life, would I think that most Labradors bite? I probably would when in reality, they don't. Exactly, you just have to find that guy that isn't just interested in 'biting' (unless that gets you going Kidding!!!) Link to comment
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