I could understand my husband looking at if ...

[Wondering_Woman]

What is it with the porn on the net? I could understand my husband looking at if it perhaps I were overweight, and it was a turn off for him. But Im not overweight in the least bit. I could understand it if i were ugly. Im not that either. I could understand it if I did not want sex as often as him. But I do. I could even understand it if I were not the adventurous type, liking to discover new things in our sexual rendevous. But I am. And I could understand it if we didnt have a good relationship.

I dont care that he looks at porn once in a while. But he looks at porn on an almost daily basis.

He doesnt realize how it makes me feel. It hurts to know that he is paying so much attention to these street women of the net. To me, it is another form of adultery/cheating. Its in his sight, his ears, his mind, and for all I know in his thoughts when we are having sex. I dont think he has realized yet that it is starting to affect our sex life. It is so hard to be as intimate with him as I once was. We still have sex, but in my mind, it is not as great as it once was because I think about him watching the porn while we are having sex, or I wonder if he is thinking about what he watched on the porn sites that day.

Any thoughts from any men out there would be greatly appreciated, though women please dont refrain.

[viperdh1607306437]

Hi,

 

Seems you are about to get yourself into a very bad cycle, the less he feels in sex the more he will look at the porn. All guys look at porn, it's a fact, just the ammount that a guy looks is the difference. And guys look for different reasons. Seriously I think you need to talk to him about it, maybe let him know how you feel about it and how you don't mind him looking every now and then but so often makes you feel unwanted.

[Silver 93 Supra]

The fact is guys like porn. They will watch porn and for most men it is separate from sex. I believe that if it is not just a normal guy watching porn thing then it may stem from your sexual relationship. you may be in a sexual rut. Im not sure about your sexual relationship but if when you do have sex, it is the same routine every time then your husband could just be sexually bored. If this is the case then you should talk to him and figure out what he and you want sexually, and try to spice up your relationship. if this is not the case and it bothers you that badly you should tell him how you feel. i hope this helps.

[jakob]

Guys just like porn. It is the fantasy of being with a large volume of women, and the internet makes that number of women infinite. Think about it, I betcha he doesn't look at the same set of pictures (especially pictures of the same woman) over and over again. It is a fast paced montage. It has nothing to do with you it is just how guys are wired.

 

Maybe try things to feed that primal need. Do you use roleplaying in your sex life? Wear a wig, have him pick you up at a bar, try costumes (you can get them at any fun shop)...(I know its sounds cliched and trite, but it is so for a reason!) Say things that are completely out of character...they will be convincing because of the new visual cues (and gain confidence in the understanding that you are in "character", so let loose!). He knows your personality...flip his lid with dialogue and action.

 

You have a great opportunity to explore each others sexuality...the differences between male/female sexuality runs a bit deeper than just a few different body parts. It can be intense but try to remove all social conventions and have fun! Try to remove all barriers and see this as an opportunity!