eager to learn the word games of male-female flirting

[sarsapolis6]

For this year I'm eager to learn how to improve my word games with the women that I'm interested in.

 

Both of us (male and female) like to play hard to get. We use it not through our actions, like animals, but through our language. For example, the common one that alot of girls use (in any social environment from the club to the classroom) when guys like them is: "Yes, but..I have a boyfriend."

Personally, for many years when a girl told me this I couldn't think of a decent comeback, a way to play her game. Then a buddy I was partying with gave this one girl an answer that all of us liked: "Well, how about a man-friend?" Excellent play on words, and it created the illusion that he was much, much more than her boyfriend. In our culture, who do we respect more, men or boys? The girl didn't walk away from my buddy, but she wasn't about to give up so easily. They both launched into a friendly, humorous debate about why or why not they should exchange numbers.

She was giving him a dozen reasons why she shouldn't talk to him, while he was countering those reasons and

They proceeded to the dancefloor and my friend gave me a triumphant look. After that night ended it was no surprise she had given him her number. I asked my buddy how he did it. His answer: "Well, I just talked to her."

 

That's VAGUE!!! V.A.G.U.E!! Since childhood none of my male friends have been willing to share their own style of game or technique because for many of them it comes natural. But with me it's a different story.

[sarsapolis6]

We have different groups of guys who use different ways of attracting a girl's interest in them. There are others who have to speak to women in order to progress. But they do it wrong, using one-liners that either disrespect or turn-off women. Plus one-liners are childish anyway.

 

I belong to the category of guys who have the confidence to speak to a woman, however their conversation remains on the platonic level because they simply don't know how to escalate things when the time is right. They don't know how to smooth talk, how to lower their voice, don't know how to ask the right questions that basically communicate: "You're so hot and I'd love to spend time with you in the near future".

 

So, I'd like to get out of my innocence and learn some conversational tips from the "bad boys" who are able to flirt with the librarian assistant, their prudish classmate, the girls from the club, their friend's older sister, and so on. I am not talking about sexual innuedos, because I notice that my buddies stay away from that. They also stay away from those cheesy one-liners.

 

Another example I learned: My co-worker and I daily have lunch at a diner. This older, attractive waitress always serves us whenever we're there. For days I did my usual "hello..I'd like to order.." conversation. My co-worker, who is the same age I am actually talked to her. Lite shop talk. Then one day she asked my co-worker if he was "so-and-so's son and that he looked just like him." My co-worker said "no. How old is he?"

Waitress: "About your age."

Co-worker: "Can't be. I look like I'm 25, but I'm actually 32."

Waitress: (laughs) "Suuure you are."

 

It was a funny moment, and a learning lesson in flirting because I figured that the waitress was in her low 30s (and so did my co-worker). He used age as an opportunity to play a game with her, which she enjoyed.

[PocoDiablo]

Her: I have a boyriend.

Him: Care to upgrade?

[Vasho]

Her: I have a boyriend.

Him: Care to upgrade?

 

hahaha, that's good stuff

[Duff]

Some people have just got the gift of the gab. I've talked the knickers off some women!

[amgine]

Her: I have a boyriend.

Him: Care to upgrade?

 

 

 

LMAO

 

 

funniest thing i've heard today

 

 

 

 

maybe i could use that if the sitation arises, but just the other way round.

[Miss M]

Well, in both examples you gave it was obviously HUMOR that did it. Also persistence, but persistence can be annoying if not done in a way that makes her laugh immediately and spontaneously. I always say that a guy than can make me laugh gets farther than any other kind. And humor seems to be an innate quality, not something that works for you if it's forced. But if it's already there naturally, it can definitely get better with practice.

[jurupa]

The reason your guy friends are not telling you their secrets is that they found what works for them. Their personality is differnet than yours and you have to work with your personality and physical features. You just have to work with what you have and find what "play ground" works for you. For some people the party sceen is their "play ground" while for others its the clubs or the shopping center or the park or what ever.

[poke]

I'm not particularly funny, or even overly confident with women. What I've found works for me is...

 

The easiest way to initiate a conversation with a woman is in a group. Listen in to what the conversation is about, and then take notice of what she is saying. When the opportunity arises, ask her a question about something she said. When she answers, actually listen to her. Girls hate it when a guy asks a question, then doesn't listen to the answer. Once you have engaged them in conversation, you can start to work out what they are interested in. At some point, hopefully you can feel confident enough to ask them out for coffee.

 

It doesn't sound like much, but it works. Its not about flashy lines, or even being overly humorous. Just be yourself, and lean towards being happier and relaxed.