"In Love" what does it mean

[Danny H]

O.K I'm sure this has been asked a million times but I can't find it.

 

Anyway what does this sentence mean:

 

I love you, care for you, fancy you, But I'm not in love with you anymore?

 

Or versions of the above

 

Ideas please

 

Dan

[Dako]

It means you're not the one.

[chai714]

Translation: I'm trying to let you down easy because I don't want you to feel any emotional pain . . . .but we're done.

[Danny H]

cool answer

[sidehop]

It's the classic 'I don't want to hurt you but I will confuse you any way by telling you the nicest thing your ear would please' answer. Ugh I hate that...

[boredguy]

yeah ive heard that too " i love you but im not IN love with you."

i never understood what that meant...but i assumed it just meant...i think ur nice...but go away...

[kaoticbaby]

idk my bf explained it well about his ex "i had love for her, meaning i cared for her the way i would a friend, but i was not IN love with her, like i didnt feel the butterflies, the romance, the attatchment, etc."

[theantibarbie23]

Anyway what does this sentence mean:

 

I love you, care for you, fancy you, But I'm not in love with you anymore?

 

How about:

 

I don't want to make myself out to be the bad guy for leaving you so I am going to try and save face by uttering this tired old phrase.

 

This also fits the bill:

 

I am too emotionally immature to know what real love is but I know that what we have isn't the love I've seen in the movies. It was for the first few months but now all those fireworks and butterflies are gone.

[Lady Bugg]

I think some people are too JADED to feel "in love" at a certain point in their lives. Seriously. I have been "in love'..and it has ALWAYS bit me in the butt. When you don't have those IN LOVE feelings...there seems to be more sanity and stability within the relationship. I personally am terrified of relationships that give me "butterflies"..simply because of my experience with them.Feeling "in love" does NOT equate with that person being "the one" in my opinion...it merely means there is SOME level of imbalance in the relationship, ie., One caring more than the other, some sort of ongoing drama.

 

A well balanced STABLE relationship rarely makes people feel "giddy' or 'butterflies". At least not in MY experience.

[Juha]

It means I have no clue about what I am talking about...

 

I am confused...

[darkblue]

I love you, care for you, fancy you, But I'm not in love with you anymore

"You're not bad... I suppose - but I think I can do better."

[OceanEyes]

I am too emotionally immature to know what real love is but I know that what we have isn't the love I've seen in the movies. It was for the first few months but now all those fireworks and butterflies are gone.

Just because you fall "out of love" with someone, does not make you emotionally immature. In my case, it has meant that I HAVE actually still cared deeply for the guy, but something was lost along the way ... a connection, physical attraction, respect, trust, etc. Could be anything. You can love someone like you love a family member (because they start to feel that way), but it doesn't mean that you still see them in the same way. Love changes, but it should never leave you unhappy.

 

Would you really want someone who is breaking up with you to tell you the absolute, 100% truth about what they were thinking? It's kind to sugar-coat the truth. Who wants their character/ appearance/ personality ripped to shreds for the sake of honesty? Just saying, "I don't love you anymore" should be enough of a clue. Saying something like, "you've been getting on my nerves so much lately that I've wanted to throw myself out the window", or "you're starting to repulse me" wouldn't feel that great, you know?

[RayKay]

I have to ditto that.

 

Falling out of love does not automatically make someone immature. Part of the early stages are learning about one another and seeing if that love will exist beyond that honeymoon stage, I would say it is more mature to end it when one realizes it is not there, then to prolone it for the sake of it.

 

Also, it's not generally a sudden change of heart, sometimes there have been signs, or events along the way, that brought the person to that point. Sometimes there were too many conflicts that could not be resolved. Sometimes, it's not something you can explain. No, true love is not all fairytales - full of pretty music and rainbows - but there IS something there, and when that "something" is not there, that's when someone no longer feels that "in love" or that want to work on things anymore. Real love is not like in the movies, but it is not devoid of any butterflies and fireworks either. Even in well balanced stable relationships, there is plenty of room for passion and excitement.

 

For me, the statement generally means from my experiences that the dumper does care about the person a lot, they do love that person and care about them, but there is something integral missing, or the relationship is not working anymore....the chemistry is gone (it exists, or should exist, even after the honeymoon stage), the communication is broken, trust destroyed, the stress too much, there are too many incompatibilities, or it's run its course among many things. Sometimes it is not even explainable, but it's a culmination of many things. Not every relationship is meant to last forever, and while that is sad, it only means the one that is forever, is still out there for you.

[OceanEyes]

Real love is not like in the movies, but it is not devoid of any butterflies and fireworks either. Even in well balanced stable relationships, there is plenty of room for passion and excitement.

 

This is also a very wise observation. I've had those 'whirlwind', short-lived relationships that have been built on little more than lust and some cheap thrills, but when reality sets in and you start to really see the person's inner being, it's totally obvious that you couldn't spend years with that person. You could be on either end of this relationship. Just because you are 100% convinced that a person is for YOU, doesn't mean that they are wrong or bad for disagreeing. I've had my heart broken by men who I thought were right for me, but they didn't feel the same way. That's life, in all it's complex cruelty. In retrospect, I am completely aware of how different we were (and have become).

 

Some unions are simply not meant to be.

[yeawutever]

It means "I love u as a friend, care about u, but I don't want to be in a relationship with you, I don't see you as a romantic partner, just a friend.

[Jessy]

To me being in love and loving someone are two very different things. I believe that when you love someone you care for them a great deal, but they are not the person you'd like to spend the rest of your life with. When you are in love, you know... it's a distinct feeling, it changes your whole life. As for not being in love anymore, people change, as do whole relationships, or even just situations. Sometimes you luck out, and your partner can change as well, or at least work with the change. Sometimes you get the crappy end of the stick, and lose a lover. These things happen. It's all part of life, don't worry... it'll go on.