Consumed with jealousy

[Consumed]

Hey guys, i'm new here, bear with me cus I don't really know what i'm asking for, i just came accross this site and i've got to get this off my chest, i've never been able to talk to anyone about it.

 

I split with my g/f a few years back, we were only together two years but i guess i'm just not over her. she has everything, she's incredibly intelligent, is going to be a great doctor, has been offered positions already (we are only in our early 20's) and will be extremely well-off in life and has men throw themselves over her. I feel like i have nothing in comparison ( certainly not such a promising future). despite her intelligence, she seems to find all guys attractive, and sleeps with all of them. I'm sure she'd sleep with someone just to further her career. I don't undertsand why she does this, she never used to be like this, and yes we're not together but, as the title suggests, I'm consumed day in day out with these thoughts of failure and her subsequent success. clearly, i'm not over her, despite what i may tell ppl, but i just don't understand her attitude to relationships. does she feel she has to get as many ppl as possible now before it's too late? i just don't understand. we live in the same town and i see her with a new guy all the time.

 

of course, their are two sides to every story, i'm sure i make her sound like a beast, but that's the thing, she's not, she wasn't like this. i should be pleased for her, but i'm not, i hate her success, how life seems to favor her in everything. i guess, to cut a long story short, i am blatantly not over her, and am after advice as to ways in which I can stop being this sad guy who curses the success and fortune of others when i should be happy for them.

 

tnx for looking, god bless

[Day_Walker]

You are getting caught up in the details. The truth is that you dont have to understand her behavior all you have to do is get over her because its leading to this kind of thinking. You cant really compare girls to eachother if you do then you are always going to have this standard that girls wont live up to. Let her accomplishments go and just live your life.

[healinginnyc81]

I don't know if it is possible but you need to avoid seeing her as much as you can. You need to concentrate on your own life and what you really want for yourself. It's definitely going to be tough but it is the only way to get over her. It might help to talk to a therapist.

[novaseeker]

You just have to leave the thoughts alone and move on with your life.

 

Look at it this way: all that casual sex and sleeping around is only hurting her emotionally and may end up hurting her physically as well, sol I wouldn't view it as a success story. In retrospect, you can certainly do better than that.

 

But yes, don't focus on her life, focus on your own. The best way to get past that is to get some good things going in your own life, and then you won't even really care what's going on in her life.

[acuraman]

I also agree with others to just worry about yourself and not worry about how your ex lives her life. Instead of focusing on what she is doing, I think you should focus on your career and how to better yourself. Most people tend to change when they leave a relationship, either for the best or for the worst.

[NR498E]

Id avoid her at all cost.When I drive past my ex's work I look the other direction.I dont even want to see her car.It may sound childish but the only way your gonna get past this is to just cut her out.As far as life seeming to favor her.You only see a portion of whats really going on.You never know how she really feels about herself.I know a few people that put on a good show but are miserable inside.Hell,Im one of them.

[Consumed]

Thanks for all your replies, you're advice is what i need to hear. it's all common sense, but i'm sure everyone agrees that is something we lack in situations like this! it just seems so hard, i mean we have been apart longer than we were together (2 yrs together, over 2 yrs split-up), guess i disprove the theory it takes half the time your with someone to get over them then! as they say, time is the only way i'll get through this. still, not alone hey! merry christmas all!