How to tell if a guy is gay.

[Daniel Lee]

@I AM I agree with Nesquick he made it clear he is not gay, giving you a hug might be reassurance that he is still there to support you as a friend. Talk to him again and make sure you tell him straight this time, I am serious about the whole me liking you thing and ask him for a definite answer, so it won't leave you hanging about whether he likes you or not.

 

@Nesquick So he laughed and said he doesn't care. I had a similar situation to your once. He turned out to be straight. Basically he told me I don't mind you liking me, but I'm not gay. So that was my Que to leave him alone. Maybe he is telling you to hush about it because he doesn't want others to finding out you have a crush on him and he will be made fun of. But ramcoro's bf start out pretty weird too, but at least he can be intimate with him which gave more hope. I can be wrong, why not ask him again and say you want a real answer and don't laugh and walk away.

 

@Youkon The whole orientation meeting is a bit over exaggerate in my opinion. I went to lots of those and everyone seems to be looking at one another because of nervousness, excitement, or just maybe good looking people. He might be look back at you because you looked back at him or you might look like someone he knows (but I'm not 100% right). Guys putting hand on other guy's shoulder or playfully punching and hugging don't mean they are attracted to each other all the time. I see bunch of my friends and other guys friends does that, but it don't mean their gay. It's just how they show affection sometimes, some can be more straight up some can be more reserved.

If he is home schooled then, then I'm going to have to agree that he is looking for more closer friends and attention. He can just be getting use to being in a school with a bunch of other kids and want to fit in. The two signs that I find to be interesting is:

 

He brushes you hair back: But you said the girl made him do it, so that kind of iffy for me to consider a sign. He can just be doing because he was told to.

Talks to you in the bathroom: Some guys do that, some don't. He might be just comfortable enough to talk with you.

 

Seems to me you have a huge crush on him, but you are only on the surface of flirting or getting to know him. I would like to know how things goes if he does hang out with you at your place. If he stares at you from out of the blue and it seems longer than usual, stare back and let it last. And make more self initiate moves, like brush his hair back and say,"I like you hair like that more" or whine, nag him while hanging on his arm, take longer conversations to know him deeper. And go from there.

 

As for me XD, not much happened. Though I did felt very sad yesterday and I posted up on my status, he was always the first one to ask me why I feel sad. Talked for almost 2 hours until 12 am hahaha. Then today he invited me to play games with him, and we talked again for another 1hour. Then he text me his brother put a hole in the pocket of the hoodie I bought for him for his birthday But I'll probably bored you guys if I wrote what we talked about...........so ill just keep it short.

[Nesquick97]

Hello Youkonwme! Welcome to the How to tell if a Guy is Gay family! Bringing you loves stories better than soaps since Ramcoro!

Anyways. Well, I don't have any experience with homeschooled people...but I don't think inviting him right away is good. How about sitting next to him at lunch first?

Daniel: That's what bothers me. He couldn't give me a real answer, but now he refuses to acknowledge it? It just bothers me... And I know I should just leave him alone, but I just need a honest, no laughing, no cursing answer.

Also, I wouldn't really mind all the boring details.

[youkonwme]

Thanks Daniel Lee and Nesquick97! I'm glad that there is actually someone out there that cares. All day today I couldn't stop thinking about what I wrote, wondering if anyone would respond, but thankfully someone did. Anyways, today I was talking with my best friend and he walked up to us and sorta playfully punched my friend on the arm and said he was sorry for getting mad at him over text. He said that he though someone else was texting him. But we all know he was lying. My best friend specially made him know it was him. I just ignored that. I was also waiting in line for breakfast right after this and he walked up and then turned and left awkwardly.I was looking for him at lunch to sit with him, but I couldn't find him anywhere. However, I came up with a plan. I told one of the girls he talks to that i know this.

Me - Hey, I am getting really bored sitting next to the people i sit with.

Her - then sit with us!

me - I dont want to be the only guy, that would be kinda... you know.

her - well then (the guy) can sit with us!

Me - ok

 

So tomorrow im scheduled to sit with him, but he prob doesn't even know. I agree with Daniel Lee on the fact that I need to open up more to him and talk to him more, cuz ive noticed i am sorta avoiding him because i get REALLY nervous when he's near me. I would be devastated though if he was just looking for friends and attention.... But ive got to get talking to him more to see if i notice anymore signs. Umm could you guys possible name some signs I should be on the look out for??? Thanks alot! YOu guys mean the world to me!

 

P.S. He has really short hair so I can't really brush it back. BUT he got a haircut yesterday so Im going to say, "Did you get a haircut? It looks good! I like it!" Stuff like that.

[anongirlie]

ok long time no talky!! hey everyone!...........i broke up with my girlfriend yesterday. So I am single and ready to mingle!! WOOHOO..anyway wats up wit everyone. See we have some newbies. Wattup

[Nesquick97]

Ykonwme: Well.....I don't really know...if he stares a lot at you. That's surely a sign. I also used to quickly look away, or do as if I'm just looking around. Try staring at him first, and if he looks back, look him intently into his eyes. I'm pretty sure straight guys break eye contact after a few seconds. But if he looks at you for quite a bit of time, that might also be a sign. I never really was Laurent's friend, who hasn't texted me back yet -.-, so I don't know what friends do and what not. You might as well try saying: "Hey, can I feel your hair?" If he lets you, try like lightly brushing against his face. And when you're done, you can say something like: "Wow, it feels really nice. And it looks so amazing on you." That might be a bit obvious, but he's home schooled, so he's probably a bit oblivious towards the world.

Also, try offering him food. Might seem as a nice gesture. And if you're really daring, say he got something on his mouth, and wipe it away with your hand. Now, this is of course based on the fact that I think he's pretty naive, but if he's not THAT naive, don't do that. If he doesn't swing that way, it might not end too well...

Oh and: umm...I'd try not thinking of us guys as "the world." It's not gonna end well. Find someone in real life who can be your friend. Like that guy!

Charles: Well, great/terrible that you broke up with her! I hope you're happy/not too sad! Any guys you're looking at?

Kind random question at the end: How do I initiate a conversation with a guy who probably doesn't know that I even exist and is two grades below me?

[youkonwme]

I don't know what to do. Im just REALLY confused. This is making me sad. The odds are starting to look more and more slim. Over text last weekend, I asked him if he wanted to go to the carnival and he said that he would have to ask. So I'm gonna try to go to that. Should I have my parents there, because his parents are so strict or should we just go by ourselves? I made a HUGE mistake of letting this guy really get to me and mean something to me before I even had any real evidence to wether he likes me or not. I don't know what I'll do if he's straight.

 

The only two guy friends he has are me and that other kid. All the rest of his friends are girls.

Also this other kid he's friends with is sorta bizarre... They never talk except for one time during the day. The guy i like waits at a table until the other guy walks in and they wait in line to get food with each other, but they never sit at the same table together??? Thats so strange! OK, IM SO TIRED OF NOT KNOWING! Tomorrow I am going to talk to him EVERYSINGLE chance I get! I am going to sit with him at lunch NO MATTER WHAT!! I'll report back everything that happens.

 

P.S. - How old is everyone on here? It's ok if you don't want to tell me.

[Nesquick97]

Good luck, dude! I'm gonna cross my fingers all day!

But just give it a bit of time. You can expect him to jump on the lunch table and yell: *name* I love you!!! You should try to become his friends first, and get closer to him. Or have I missed something?

I'm 14 years of age right now.

[youkonwme]

But just give it a bit of time. You cant expect him to jump on the lunch table and yell: *name* I love you!!!

 

Hahahahahahaha! That made me laugh! And no, I don't think that you missed anything. Thanks again!

[Daniel Lee]

Oh then I guess I'm pretty old, but with more experience then others in their teens. I'm 22. But I still need help from others, so goes to show everyone can be anywhere in life.

 

@Youkon Don't rush it, your still young. You can only try your best, if it don't work out then it don't work out. But you should at least get to the point where everyone should go, if you really like him and tell him that you specifically "I like you and I'm serious "his name". Ask for a honest and compelling answer and make sure he don't laugh or curse about it. If it ends up bad then leave it and walk away find someone else. If it turns out good then go on from there and keep going with him.

 

Remember you can be a close to him in anyway shape or form, but he don't consider you that way even though you love him to the end of the world, it means nothing at the end. Only if he returns his feelings for you, is when things will work out.

 

@Nesquick Find a chance for him to honestly answer you, I will only hope it falls well, but not to be mean, but he might not be gay or bi in my opinion and I don't want to give false hope and bring you down even more.

 

And the other day my crush "H" he tried to make me feel better by making me laugh about how he likes pork buns at the end and how fresh they smell. He said a pork bun is good anywhere, "Omg they are so yummy anytime anywhere." He is cheap, likes to reserve his money and hates spoiled people, so he start talking about how he can collect interest if you puts it in the bank and get 1 dollar every year. But I was like you only get 1 dollar! So he said, " that's one more pork bun in my mouth to munch on."

So I can't help but laughing after talking about depressing stuff with him about my family. We always have those back and forth wars saying "I hate you, no I hate you, no I hate you! no wait your right I don't hate you, I hate you a lot" Hahaha. Here something to read

 

this was a while back. I switch from Skype to some other system talking to other people, so her I was about to mute myself before I log on Skype to talk to my girl friend:

 

[12:14:08 AM] Me: on skype

[12:14:12 AM] Him: that's right

[12:14:14 AM] Him: mute urself

[12:14:26 AM] Me: I still love u smiley face =]

[12:14:30 AM] Him: =]

[anongirlie]

See so theres this personcwho i like... HE is very nice and everything. And i really don't want to like him but i think i'm taking a keen interest to him even though i don't want to. He seems straight but i'm hoping there is a little bit of hope...but for now i just want to be his friend. So I talked to him a litlle between classes...he stares directly at my eyes which creeps me out. I bought him something afterschool and we ate it. But then after he just left without even saying thank you...i guess it's because we don't have nothing that interesting to talk about. So I need to know how to interact properly with HIM without boring HIM. HElP

[Chiyomaster]

ANOTHER GUY?? Off for the love of...oh what the heck...that's so bs! I've been soo busy on honors classes... Just did seven straight hours of chemistry alone! I'll be sure to have more social time on my senior year

and for sum reason I'm watching twilight...I hate twilight!?!

[Nesquick97]

Daniel: I don't quite get the chat but...you still haven't told him? Oh, come on, those hints you gave him are so huge, you could get run over by them. I think he knows...

Also: It's kinda impossible to talk to him...he's always with his friends at school, and it seems like he won't reply to any of my texts.

 

Charles: Umm...I don't know how you would entertain that guy. Since I know, like, nothing about him. How about: Talk about stuff he likes. Or ask what he likes. If you have common interests that could be a great conversation. Or just talk about school. That always works...Well, most of the time. But it's kinda weird that he didn't say thanks.

 

Chiyo: Poor you. Well, it'll be worth it. Maybe. Also: You're watching Twilight because of Robert Pattinson?

[youkonwme]

I'm an * * * * * * * ...

He's obviously either looking to be friends with me, or is interested in me. At least maybe three times today he walked up the group of people that we were talking to I saw him, and he saw me, but we never said one word to each other. This is going downhill because of me. I don't have any guts whatsoever to talk to him anymore. I have noticed that alot of the people I hang out with he is starting to become friend with. So I guess we will have alot of mutual friends and we'll be bound to talk soon. I felt terrible at lunch too. I saw him looking for a place to sit when I was looking for one. Once again, I couldn't go up to him and maybe say, "Hey, wanna sit with me?" Other than that, everything's ok. I really need to take a break from this situation. I am mentally and physically exhausted. Mentally from thinking about this situation all day from literally the moment I woke up to now and probably until I go to sleep. Physically because of sports. I can't really handle all of this stress at the moment. I agree with all of you guys and thank you so much for your support and advice! If anything big happens in the next three days I'll report back what does happen.

[anongirlie]

Nesquick: I know it is weird. But I think he was trying to leave as fast as he can since we had an socially awkward conversation. So when we left the place we went to eat he just started moving the opposite direction without even saying that he was leaving me...when I acknowledge him about it he just said I'm going up that avenue and he just left while I said bye....he didn't reply..

[TheDakurai]

-Ignore This Post-

[TheDakurai]

Hello everyone, I am new here, and I have been reading this topic which made me want on register on the site. Just to let you all know some info about me first lol, I'm 15 years old, Male, Gay. I also have a problem like what people have been talking about, I went to a new school this year and I meet this guy and I took one look at him and I fell in love with him, not because he's a really good looking guy, well to me hes nice, but there was something about him which made me like him instantly. So I have been going to school for like 3 weeks now, and I still have no nerve to talk to this guy but some stuff has been happening. Well my first impression on the guy was, "He gotta be gay" I thought this because, he is a very feminine dude, like he's always dressed up, fixing his shoes, looking at his nails, wearing tight clothing like shirts and jeans. But what mostly made me think he was gay was his voice, when I heard it I convinced myself he was. But the worse news was I found out he has a girlfriend so now I'm completely confused. Like I asked some of my friends do they think he's gay and mostly everyone agrees, so I asked his best friend who is a girl what she thought about him, and she even said he's very feminine. So anyway some things I noticed are we are having lots of eye contact, like were always staring back and forth at each other, like today when I went to get my books in my locker he stood by his locker just staring at me. Another thing he done was he purposely bumped into me, and I was so nervous I never even said anything. But the thing I likes the most is, we had to do a project in science where we had to go around to all of our class mates and ask questions, so this dude comes right up to me and asks me the question and we was joking around for a bit, and he went on again, but I found it strange how he came right up to me out of no where but it was very nice of him since I was kinda a new kid. But my biggest problem is he has a girlfriend and I have a huge crush on him and I don't know what to do, some people know I'm gay up school, apparently it's going around so he could know about me. So do anyone have any advice what to do, I thinks he's gay but where he has a girlfriend it confuses me.

 

I'm sorry that a write a lot "^.^

[youkonwme]

Hey TheDakurai! I just went through/had literally the same problem as you.From all of the signs above I wouldn't be too sure if he was gay, BUT still that doesn't mean anything. He could be really good at covering it up, like me. If I were to see this guy in person, I might think he was gay too, but some straight guys are into those kind of clothes. Also, I would watch how he acts around his girlfriend. Does he act shy and makes small movement or does he kiss and hug her all the time. There is a possibility that he could have a fake girlfriend for a coverup. I know because I did at one point and it ended in a disaster. Since you dont know this kid I would suggest getting to know him and become close to him. Become one of his good friends or if your too shy (like me) just become friends with his friends and move on toward him.

One thing I really suggest at this moment is to not let this guy get to you too much. You said you have a really big crush on him, but you haven't got true evidence that he likes you. Well I guess staring could mean something and when he walked up to you first. Anyway like I said, don't get a too big of a crush on him. I did that, and I still dont know if this guy likes me. (its looking very grim) But I started and am still beating myself up over him. I'm starting to get depressed and my friends arent talking to me cuz I am just sad the whole time. So I would advise you not to do what I did.

[Chiyomaster]

Just a tip for all the people: your number one goal is to get TRUST. Without it you could say byebye to your life. Just hangout after school and stuff and see if he got any gay/bi/lesbian friends if he does than u got a good chance he's ok with it. Trust me it's better for him to be straight and keep it a secret your gay than him turn out and be gay and tell people. Goodluck to everyone!

 

In the meantime, I think I'm starting to like a guy in history. His names Austin and I had a little crush before years ago he would sort of 'tease' me. He'd randomly stare at me when were taking notes.

[Daniel Lee]

I hope everyone is doing well, close friend died of cancer and then another firend's mom died of cancer. Gosh, so much bad stuff happening, but I wish you all well.

 

@TheDarkurai: Him having a girlfriend might mean he is straight, lot of guys can act gay but that don't mean they are. You shouldn't be lingering around him if he has a girlfriend. You can get close to him as a friend and thats as much as you can do right now, if he breaks up for him and he shows signs of interest in guys, then you might have something going on there. He first have to trust you and be close enough to let you know anything, if that is possible. But staring don't mean he likes you, unless it those longer than usual glazes at you directly.

@Nesquick: Nope still haven't told him anything yet, in fact so caught up with my own stuff haven't seen him in person for almost a month. I did however talk to him, but only if he starts the conversation with me. I hope your doing well and in the mean time here something to read:

 

Happen about a month ago he was trying to set up a movie day with me and some friends we were all in an online chat room:

Him: So are you free this Saturday (my name)

Me: I assume so

Friend Greg: OMG KARA LOOK (greg's girlfriend) HE IS FINALLY ASKING (my name) OUT ON A DATE!

Me: Oh whatever greg

Him: You jealous?

 

I know he was asking if I'm free so I can join the group to go, but it was kinda nice to have the attention. I think I mention it before, but the saturday didn't work out since he had something to do, so he private messaged me on facebook asking me if I was free on Friday. My other friend was going to, she was informed after me since I personally asked he asked you first before me. She said he made sure you were free first before messaging me. So it was me and my best friend, Sara. We watched Harry Potter in 3D, hurts my eyes so bad, but at least he sat right next to me when the theather was like almost empty. Almost pretend to sleep and fall over to his shoulder but didn't

[youkonwme]

Hey everyone, I just wanted to catch up on whats been happening. Btw Daniel Lee I'm sorry for your losses. I know how much it hurts to loose someone. I watched my grandma die while I held her hand, and that changed me beyond anything.

 

I was at my locker minding my own business, when one of my good female friends walked up to me and said that she left her books upstairs and wanted me to go with her to get them. I really didn't want to and told her so and went back to my locker. But she kept pushing it. I looked over to where the guy I liked (im just going to call him.....michael even thought thats not his name) So i looked at michael's locker and he was already gone. Why did he leave so early? I didn't care cuz we had already talked that day. But the girl kept dragging me to go with her, like it was super important. So i finally went with her to the third story and no one was there. The lights were off and she pulled me into the room. We were in there for like two minutes and right as we walked outside the door, michael was waiting behind the door. He started talking to us. Why was he upstairs??? We aren't even allowed up there unless we have classes, but it was after school so no one was there. The girl smiled and said, "Ill be downstairs." and she ran downstairs. So we both were up there holding a great conversation. I was SOOOOOOOO nervous! We started walking slowly downstairs and then we talked for almost 15 minutes. It was a great conversation! I learned alot about him. Then my mom called and I had to leave, but I was soooo happy! We finally talked for longer than 1 minute. Okay, so I was starting to think what really was going on there because it all seemed really suspicious. That girl is best friends with michael and me. So I was thinking that what if that was planned? Probably just a coincidence. But why was he up there by himself? You guys tell me what you think.

[Chiyomaster]

Oh yeah I forgot to tell everyone this! For English I had to play as a pregnant woman in a skit. I was in an all guy group and of course they choose me. It felt weird but was fun

[TheDakurai]

Thanks for the responses everyone, and yeah I know I should get to know him and build trust and stuff. But I'm a bit too shy to talk to him yet. I know I should not get too close with him because I already went through that with my ex, we went out and he cheated on me with a girl and now says he's not gay. But @youkonwme his girlfriend is not in our school, she lives like in another community and he don't see her much, like he havent seen her now in like weeks. But the thing I always think of when it comes to dudes being with girls and you think they are gay, I think it's because they are too afraid to come out, or they are in denial of who they are so they go with girls just to be in a relationship in general. So yeah, I guess I'm gonna have to talk to him in school monday or try to at least

[TheDakurai]

@youkonwme, yeah that do sound like it was planned, if she was so eager to get you upstairs and out of nowhere this dude is there well yeah of course it seems planned. Do this girl know you likes this guy? if she do ask her why did she go down stairs? Maybe then you will get some answers, but to me it seems like something you would see on tv when someone is trying to hook you up

[Nesquick97]

Wow...I hate my internet.....It broke down on Thursday....

Anyways:

Chiyo: Well, are there any other signs that he might like you? And didn't you say that you're so full with homework?

Daniel: Well, not seeing him for a month sure sucks...But please! Ugh this is getting interestinger by the second! Also, sorry for you losses.

Youkonwme: That was so planed it could fit in a soap. Like seriously. Ofc she planned that. But obviously Michael agreed to the plan, which points to that he might like you.

Dakurai: Well, nothing to say for you...just try to get enough courage. You don't have to outright tell him that you like him, just talk to him. I mean, that can't force THAT much courage.

And over here in chocolate land...nothing. Laurent is still pretending like nothing happened and I think I should just give up. Even IF he only wears pastel colors, he isn't going to ever realize what he did to me. He's to ignorant. Oh well. I guess I'll start stalking That Guy.

[youkonwme]

Thanks for the suggestions guys! Ok, there was something that happened that I didn't write about. Before I tell you though, I am going to delete all of the messages I've posted until the last two or three because I seriously don't want anyone to find out who this is. Ok, so anyway.......

 

When I walked out of the room with the girl, I didn't even notice Michael, I just heard his voice and he said, "Oooooo (name) and (name) hiding in a room together!" He walking in between the girl and I and I said jokingly, "shut up.. haha." and we laughed. Thats when she ran off downstairs and this is what we talked about. After she smiled and ran downstairs he leaned in really close to me and whispered, "You should ask her to the dance next friday." I said, "well she's like my best friend, so that might be a little weird haha." So thats really all I wanted to say. The thing I wanted to emphasize was when he leaned in close to me. I hardly even remembered what he said because I was wondering what he was going to do. Thats the closest we ever been so far. Someone early suggested that he might be really comfortable when it comes to talking cuz he talked to me in the bathroom while we were peeing. And I read somewhere else that straight guys just keep the distance required to hear one another, not get really close like he did. I hardly even know him and he sorta surprised me when he did that. So thats pretty much all that happened.

 

Some of you said that she could have set that up, but she has and everyone else has NO idea that I'm gay. Well, a long time ago, my sister caught me looking at bad websites and I never got the chance to delete the history and she told my parents and they had like this long talk with me because this was when I was clueless on what sex was. This was way before I knew anything like guy and straight. I was just curious on why guys were with other guys. Well, ever since then my parents get extremely sensitive when anything sexual or gay is mentioned. I was talking to my sister and my mom in the car to the mall two years ago and idk what we were talking about but it had to with relationships and my sister said, "well there are some guys out there like other guys, you never know, you could be gay." I literally fell out of the car when I heard this but I quickly said, "trust me i'm not gay." I was really awkward the rest of the night.

 

Ok, sorry I'm writing so much but I really want to give my background dealing with homosexuality. I have this friend, who was positively straight. and one night we slept in the same bed and we were really hyper. We like started playing footsies, and it advanced into something really bad. I get really nervous when someone says something that refers to being gay around us now. We are still best friends though. I've heard him say all the time, "I HATE GAY PEOPLE! If i had the chance I would kill them all." I got really uncomfortable when he said this. BUt he still remembered and he told this guy at school and it started spreading. But we both fixed it quickly becuz it made us both look bad. That was maybe the scariest moment of my life. Haha soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo yeah.......