Breaking Down, My NC Timeline

[capricorn85]

Okay guys, I do not know if any of you are familiar with my story but here it goes. I was with the love of my life for a year and 1/2, I did everything for him. When he needed money I gave it to him, when he needed a place to stay he stayed with me, when he needed a loan MY MOM co-signed for him. Throughout the relationship there were some trust issues, we'd argue a bit then always make up and have the most passionate love making.

 

SEPTEMBER

On September 18, we spoke and he told me he wanted a break. Mind you, he came to DC (where I am going to school), a few days prior. So I could'nt understand how he just switched up. He told me that he "wanetd to concentrate on school" which I KNEW was probably a lie. I was so upset, I cried my eyes out and was depressed for a while. I couldnt even move I stopped going to class and cried all day long.

 

OCTOBER

I saw him October 8 when I went back to NY and we ended up having sex. Afterwards he told me that he still did not want a relationship, while I begged.After that I have been STRUGGLING with NC. I met a few people, but none of them have any of the qualitites I want and they were all a waste of time! My ex wrote me a few emails asking why I was being childish ignoring his emails and threatened to not speak to me anymore. He IM'd one of my close friends asking her how I was doing.

 

 

NOVEMBER

He IM'd me one night and we spoke, I was strong then broke down telling him how upset I was. He told me the break up was my fault and he lied that he needed to concentrate on school because he didnt want to hurt me. I asked him WHY he wouldnt consider being with me and if he has withsomeone else. YOU KNOW HIS RESPONSE? He told me 'do not ask me questions you do not want the answer to.' So picture me on the floor crying for three hours! My roomate woke up and took the phone from me and told him we shouldnt talk. I changed my number and he found it out, called me eight times from private. I changed my number again, he found it out again. Mind you there is no way he could've gotten my number but illegally. He used to work for Sprint (but not at the time that I changed my number, he had left). I cannot change my number because I am on a fam plan wirh my parents and they do not want me switching.

 

Thanksgiving rolled up and he picked me up from the station when I came to NY. I acted really cold to him but for some reason he got me. We had sex again. He told well "Maybe I want to have my cake and eat it too." I was so upset. The next day I called him wanting to see him but he NEVER came. Instead he was in the city with his boys and he spoke to me like he didnt even care. The last thing I said to him was "I hope you know you lost me forever."

 

DECEMBER

I HAVE NOT SPOKEN TO HIM SINCE THANKSGIVING. So 17 days today. He called me Last Monday from a private number, I picked up said hello, heard his voice then hung up immediately. He called me back saying "well I guess we got cut off I thought of you so give me a call." Then he sent me a message assking me why I WONT be his friend on the facebook. Then he IM'd me saying "god bless you."

 

I know that I have to be strong, I even bought a journal to write in. But when I wake up I think of him and when I GO TO SLEEP I think of him. I do miss him. Someone please help. ](*,)

[pierlessblake]

ok, very very important and i know this isn't what you want to hear. he has told you that he doesn't want a relationship. he is doin more of a casual dating thing with you. it doesn't mean he doesn't like you. it means just what he said he doesn't want anything serious. but be happy that he told you instead of stinging you along. and it isn't you, it's him with a problem.

[patience]

stick to NC

 

17 days is great!

 

(he doesn't sound like a very nice guy anyway)

[Lil Punkin]

Capricorn....

 

This guy sounds like a complete waste of time and energy. Not only that...but his actions are EXTREMELY selfish and immature.I think you need to do what you're doing..IGNORE him. He sounds like he thinks he can just treat you like crap and you're just gonna take it......I'm not one to mince my words so I hope I don't sound harsh, but seriously, this guy is a DUD. You are doing the right thing here. Congrats on 17 days of NC..I know how tough it is...so you should be very proud of yourself. Treat yourself to something nice on your full month of NC...a sexy outfit or something I know I will!! lol

 

Be strong, you'll make it!!

[capricorn85]

Idk why but i feel so down, i am crying a little bit. I don't get why my ex is so insensitive...I promised myself that i wouldnt cry. How far are some you with NC?

[nataliejulie]

I've been NC for almost 4 weeks. I can't even count the days. It does work, seriously. I used to count the days, now I don't even pay attention. Yes, there's good days and bad days. But the feeling of being so proud of yourself that you can have this kind of self control is VERY rewarding.

[capricorn85]

Sometimes I wonder if my ex even cares. Like I still cannot believe he just gave me up like I meant nothing to him...

[Lil Punkin]

Congrats Natalie..

 

Capricorn....You will hurt like hell the first month....cry without shame if you need to..it will help.

 

I am doing NC with someone ...going on my 2nd week of REAL, SOLID, NC. It feels good, I feel in control and better about things. You will too I promise, after that first initial few weeks. You just cry and grieve as much as much as you need to..I promise..the sun will start shining again, and you WILL be happy again. Just give it time.....

 

Hang in there!!

[nataliejulie]

The worst thing to do is fill your head with what if's.

 

At this point, there is not one thing we can do to change anything. If something happens, it happens.. if it doesn't, it doesn't.

 

Take those feelings and use them as a tool to move forward. If this person seems to not care after so long, why care over them?

 

I miss my ex, a lot. There's good days and there's bad days. There were times he treated me awful and times he treated me wonderfully. But the fact I have not heard a word from him in almost a month proves to me right there the worth I am to him. Yes, it hurts, but what can we do? Should we sit here, waste our time thinking about why, what, if, when, how? There's no purpose in it, other than to torture ourselves.

 

It's better to take the loss than keep that flame of on going pain burning.

 

 

If anything, this helps. Say he doesn't come back -- by this time next month you will probably be feeling 10x's better about yourself and every day that passes without a call will add one more day to the reason why you don't call, either. Say he does come back -- you will be in a much more clearer mind state than you are now. Doing NC, we take a huge step back and look at the bigger picture, an outsider looking in. We make much more smarter decisions than what we could during our "grieving" phase.

[novaseeker]

17 days is very good! It's hard to remain strong in this age when there are so many ways and means to contact each other, but 17 days is a great base to work from. One day after another, and yes there are bad days thrown in there, but time does help. You will get over him. And NC will help pyou do it faster than anything else.

[capricorn85]

Thank you for the support guys. I am going 19 days strong. Today I got 4 private calls. I am pretty sure it was him. He is the ONLY person who calls me from private. Our birthdays are coming up late December. We are born two days apart. What makes it worse is that he is born on New Years Eve! I am trying to plan something on my birthday since I wont be with him...OMG he just called me I IGNORED IT THOUGH!!

[Lil Punkin]

This guy is not at ALL respectful of you Capricorn....have you actually TOLD him to leave you alone? Because if you have and he isn't you can file harassment charges against him...especially if he is getting your number ilegally in order to do it. You DO have the ability to put an end to this if you want to....

[capricorn85]

lil punkin,

 

When i saw him the day before thanksgiving I told him I wanted my space to get over him. He asked how long I told him that I'D call him when I was ready. He is fully aware. In terms of harassment charges I understand, but I wouldn't file harassment charges against him, I still care about him somewhat despite everything. He isn't threatening it's just me having trouble getting over him.

[Lil Punkin]

Ahh ok....Sorry I was under the impression he was being bothersome..ie, getting your phone number after you changed it twice, etc. I guess to ME it would be bothersome , but thats just me.