How can I help and comfort the girl?

[Sam-Fisher]

I seem to have hooked up with this girl a week ago. She has a wonerfull smile and a very nice person. Altough she wants to take the situation slow, she is throughly interested in me. as we got things clear form the very beginning, she told me as a result of a previous relationship she had, which has finished more than a year ago, she got used to act independently and is very afraid of going through another relationship. But this is not what worries me the most, the thing is that she says she's always sad and depressed sorta speak when she's at home. When I IM her in evnings she says she is a bit better. But still I really wish to help her. Show her I'm there. I said I will phone her tonight but really have no idea how to approach her. How can I talk to her without going overboard or closing in too much? Mind you we are both very shy.

 

Any comments would be appreciated.

[Liquid Dream]

Well it could be possible that showing her that you can be there for her,

unlike her other spouse,

it will make her want to be with you more.

And it doesn't seem like shes Independent,

its like she's scared to love/like you with all she has...

which everyone knows is hard, after a hard break up.

Maybe you're the first guy to be nice to her.

Who know's other guys may have cheated,abused, she could have low self esteem...

I don't no, you may not either, but don't give up on her.

Good Luck to you.

[Sam-Fisher]

I agree with most of what you said, But somehow I think there is more to it. Something I don't know yet. maybe something familiar or what's not

[Liquid Dream]

Maybe you should just ask her about it. It may show her that you

understand the problem,even if she doesn't realize she has one.

Hopefully she'll realize that you care (I don't from a scale of 1 to 10)

And that your really sweet.

[ShySoul]

It might be something deeper. But if you try to force it, she may retreat further. You need to show her you are there and through your words and actions help her see she can trust you. Compliment her. Be nice to her. Make sure she is having fun when you talk or do things together. Do sweet little things like sending her notes just to say hi and that you were thinking of her. When she feels safe enough she will open up more. It just takes time. I know that it hurts you to see her hurting, but you can't deal with deeper issues until she is ready to. In the meantime, have fun with her and make sure you are both enjoying yourself.