talking for the first time

[Stinkweed]

I was wondering if it is alright if you see a girl for the first time and you exchange looks and you go up to talk to her even though it is the first time you've ever seen her. I've read all kinds of stuff on this one... I don't know what to believe. I mean one side says "don't talk to her just yet. Wait till you run into her some other place and say hi and keep doing it until she stops" or something... Other people think that doing that is missing out on an opportunity because you might not see her again... I just don't know... I mean, is it ok to talk to a girl anywhere anytime? Like, say I see her in the hallways but I'm with some friends. Can I just be like "Hey, could you guys wait for me here? I'm gonna do something" and go talk to the girl, or should I let it pass or something and wait till I'm by myself? Cause today would have been ideal to talk to this girl I've seen a couple of times around the hallways. She used to stare at me big time, but I was such an *beep* and I just turned instead of smiling or something. So today I saw her but she didnt' stare as much... Is it still worth a try given we don't really know each other? Should I walk up to her next time and introduce myself? I know people will probably say I'm overanalizing... But man, with my poor skills, I just want to at least do a mediocre job, not a pre-school level job... Thanks for any replies and best wishes.

[maynards_razorblade69]

Do it, just go up and talk to her. What harm can it do?

[Stinkweed]

Then I shall try ](*,). I mean, who could know better than a 17 year old girl, probably similar to the one I intent on approaching? lol, ok that might have sounded weird, but you catch my drift But really thank you very much.

[sweetheart230]

This reminds me of a play I saw a couple weeks ago where this guy is sitting at a table and obsessing over this girl he sees at a restaurant. he keeps talkinga bout how he wants to go up to her and talk to her, but he feels like he'll look stupid or get rejected. so finally his friend says that if he goes up to her and gets rejected, he'll pay him fifty bucks. So the guy checks himself over and tries to work up the nerve and then...you guessed it...she's already left.

 

What have you got to lose really? As a girl, I don't look at, show interest in, flirt with or smile or make eye contact with guys because I get scared. But I missed out on a lot, and I didn't gain anything by not doing anything. Don't make my mistakes. Just whatever you do, do it with confidence and ease.

[Stinkweed]

So, in my earlier teens I missed out on a bunch of stuff... Potential friendships, and many other things. I don't intend on letting that happen much longer. So, well yeah, the thing is that like a week ago I saw her everywhere, and I even saw her standing there alone looking at me, but I was such a buttface that I didn't even smile or look back at her and just ignored her... But oh well, I'll try and see what happens... One more thing: Getting her number or doing something like that, should I wait till some other time, or should I do it right then and there after talking to her a bit? Because I've also read about it being better if you do it right then and there after a proper introduction and conversation, because it only takes like 4 seconds or something for a girl to decide whether a guy is boyfriend material or not. So if that were true, that means it is better to ask sooner than later and get an answer sooner instead of later. But if it is not, then she probably might not like the idea of giving her # to a stranger. So which is it?

[sweetheart230]

haha, don't worry. I still do the same thing (ignoring and not smiling at someone I'm interested in). I'm really glad you realized this a lot earlier than I did. You're on the right track.

 

Anyway, to answer your question, I would say...if she's looking at you and she seems interested when you talk to her, go for it. You can probably tell. At this point, she probably won't know if you're interested just as a friend or as more, so she probably won't be offended. Its better if you look for an excuse to ask for her number, though. She might say no she might say yes. The important thing is not to beat yourself up if she says no (she might be shy or afraid) or to declare victory if she gives it to you. Just remain calm and confident, and enjoy yourself.

[Jessica45]

I think you should just go for it. if she stares at you a lot, then she must notice you, you should go and talk to her, you need to start somewhere.

[atraceofblood]

let us know how it goes!

[Stinkweed]

Well, unfortunately, I didn't get to see her today (Honest man. I got out of the classroom later than usually). But I plan on talking to her first chance I see her. If you want to, I'll post how it went here on monday. Thank you and have a nice weekend.

[ShySoul]

Why not talk? You have nothing to lose. Though I wouldn't be dead set on something happening with her, I would just focus on getting to know her.

 

Good luck talking to her. Hope it goes well.

[atraceofblood]

Well, unfortunately, I didn't get to see her today (Honest man. I got out of the classroom later than usually). But I plan on talking to her first chance I see her. If you want to, I'll post how it went here on monday. Thank you and have a nice weekend.

 

dang, I hate it when that happens! lol

[Stinkweed]

I didn't see her today either, even though I was half-wishing I wouldn't anyway... I mean, I'm now 90% she's gonna turn me down now anyway... Dunno if it's worth it, plus I don't even know what I'm gonna do... So I guess I'll just let this one go...

[atraceofblood]

I didn't see her today either, even though I was half-wishing I wouldn't anyway... I mean, I'm now 90% she's gonna turn me down now anyway... Dunno if it's worth it, plus I don't even know what I'm gonna do... So I guess I'll just let this one go...

 

no man!! if you really feel something inside, go for it, if not, then let it go.

[ApC]

dude im in the same position as you...*** it...monday im just going to talk to her...the break is coming up soon and im not gona leave it so then i start to regret. im going to post here on monday what happened when i get back aha..hopefully then you will do somehting too. and dont start talking about how she will turn you down...if you have that attitude then it wont get you very far. just act confident, talk to her like you do your best friend. if she feels the attraction you will know right away. if she turns you down(and it happens to EVERYONE) then move on to someone else, hell you could make 10 dates in one day if you just go for it without worrying whether they turn you down or not.

[atraceofblood]

dude im in the same position as you...*** it...monday im just going to talk to her...the break is coming up soon and im not gona leave it so then i start to regret. im going to post here on monday what happened when i get back aha..hopefully then you will do somehting too. and dont start talking about how she will turn you down...if you have that attitude then it wont get you very far. just act confident, talk to her like you do your best friend. if she feels the attraction you will know right away. if she turns you down(and it happens to EVERYONE) then move on to someone else, hell you could make 10 dates in one day if you just go for it without worrying whether they turn you down or not.

 

please let us know and don't let us down! lol

[Stinkweed]

Well, my break already started, and I didn't talk to her. I mean, what's the point if she started to ignore me? I guess that was that. But yeah, plz don't hesitate to post about your situation. Hope you don't make the same mistake I did of not doing it when you were supposed to. Good luck.

[atraceofblood]

Well, my break already started, and I didn't talk to her. I mean, what's the point if she started to ignore me? I guess that was that. But yeah, plz don't hesitate to post about your situation. Hope you don't make the same mistake I did of not doing it when you were supposed to. Good luck.

 

so what are you going to do during the break?

[ShySoul]

I didn't see her today either, even though I was half-wishing I wouldn't anyway... I mean, I'm now 90% she's gonna turn me down now anyway... Dunno if it's worth it, plus I don't even know what I'm gonna do... So I guess I'll just let this one go...

 

Is there facts to support that? Is it is fear speaking?

 

You are convincing yourself that things will go wrong before you ever even give them a try. If you never say anything, of course nothing will work out. You don't want to throw in the towel before the match ever starts.

[Stinkweed]

To atraceofblood:

 

If you refer to this girl, what else can I do? I won't be seeing her till school's back. So, I guess if I'm gonna worry about this it'll have to wait till the break is over, know what I mean? Plus, I doubt I'll even talk to her ever... Would you say it's worth it?

 

If you referred to the break in general: Well, I guess I'll hang out with my bros, try to hang out with my friends, and we'll go on a trip.

 

 

To shysoul:

 

I was half-wishing I wouldn't see her not because of that actually. I mean, yes I do feel a little nervous in such situations. The thing is she ignores me now, just like she thought I ignored her when she was trying to get my attention (it's only fair, I guess, right?), so if I didn't see her, at least I wouldn't think about it much, you know? But if I saw her, I'd be like "dang, I didn't talk to her" even though she's ignoring me now, because I could still talk to her, even though chances are way slimmer as of now. I dunno man. What else is there to say? I mean, I would like so smile at her like I was supposed to do back then and stuff, but she won't even look at me anymore, so what's the point?

 

I mean, I guess I'll see how things go on monday when we're back. If I get a chance and a good vibe, I might just give it a try after all...

[ApC]

well so much for that...i didnt get the opportunity today...saw her once but she was too far away, wasnt going to stalk her down aha...but tomorrow for sure...

[Stinkweed]

Yeah, I hope tomorrow you get a better chance man. Now don't way much longer, ok? Best of luck to you.

[ShySoul]

What harm comes in trying? If you never try, you never know.

[Stinkweed]

So how did it go? I'm crossing my fingers for ya...

[ApC]

yeah i didnt see her...she wasnt with her friends either so guessing she wasnt at school..however i did end up talking to one of her friends...got her email lol...but i'll let you know again tomorrow...its so much easier when your not interested in the person that much...like today with her friend..blah

[ShySoul]

Isn't that frustrating? When you are all set to go, something happens and you don't see the person. ](*,)

 

Hope you have better luck tomorrow ApC. Don't be afraid, you can do it.