anybody who has or is serving in the military...i need help

[TheWriter1]

i have a question, but here's the story behind it.

 

Recently, as most guys my age i am having strong feelings about serving in my country. Most people would just say, "yes! go ahead, enlist! We are so proud..." but not my parents, you see i'm being recruited to play college football as well, nobody big, just for schools like Illinois, Cincinnati, Louisville, places like that, but they haven't even offered yet. They say wait until January because i was a late bloomer in the size/talent/puberty thing lol. Anyway, 1-AA schools have been offering lately, and thats great...i mean it makes me happy...but my heart is nowhere near as in to college football as it is in to military service.

 

If anybody has ever seen the movie Saving Private Ryan? The first part where Ryan is visiting the graves makes me cry, the last part where he thanks Capt. Miller makes me cry harder. Thats the kind of feeling i want, to know that if i die, a group of men might talk about me that way one day, or if i live, that i will be able to look back and know i helped other guys live and complete whatever mission we were assigned. So i go to talk to my parents...

 

My mom didn't say much, she said she'd be proud of me no matter what i do, but my dad...wow...he went off, saying how i would be wasting my life, telling me i couldn't get a job because military training isn't recognized on resumes, i'd never get married and have a family, and my life would be over at 40 because there would just be nothing left for me to do in the career. I didn't know how to respond, he could say nothing but negative things...that the military was for kids who had no direction, needed more time to grow up, didn't have scholarships.

 

I for one think that is all BS, that he just doesn't understand, but i dropped it for awhile. However, today, a marine recruiter came in and talked to our Military History class, and i was just on the edge of my seat with that same excitement i had to bury after talking to my dad. I asked him all kinds of questions, he was very successful when he enlisted, he graduated 8th in his class, and had football scholarships to Louisville, Kentucky, and Eastern Kentucky. His parents reacted just like mine...i told him to give me a call so we could talk more about the Marines...

 

We talked tonight, and the more i hear the more i like, i am particularly interested in the MSG program with the option to enlist for a tour in Iraq when i'm ready, i want to do my part you know? guarding an American Embassy while i train and get ready for war in a place i've always wanted to live (Japan) sounds like absolute heaven. It didn't hurt to see him standing in that uniform, perfect posture, white hat, the marine colors, all of his medals gleaming (this particular recruiter had seen action in Afghanistan and Iraq, Okinawa, Australia, i think he said he'd been in 13 countries and 36 states.) A kid in my class had already enlisted in the USMC and he told us that all of the recruits hung out together, and sarge (the recruiter) had started prepping them for boot...all of this just has me ready to sign right now. I want to be a part of it, of Semper Fi, of the Marines, god it all sounds so perfect.

 

But my parents don't see it my way, i told them i wanted them to meet the recruiter, they got mad...they think im throwing away my life, that i will never go back to school. My dad urged me to consider ROTC, but i'm not sure i want to climb rank that way...My mom said give them a few weeks to think about questions to ask him, i want it to be soon so they can hear about all of the great things he's done. My dad said he didn't even want it mentioned until at least January and even then only if i have 0 scholarships (which already is an impossibility )

 

I mean seriously, both options allow me to get a free education, but how long does college football last, 4-5 years? I'm not going pro, i admit that to myself, plus i'm not as strong or as big as others in my position so it will be EXTREMELY tough for me to make the jump, not to mention i sometimes doubt my skills if things go wrong...i don't know, it just doesn't appeal to me outside of a free education and the prestige signing a scholarship gives you in your highschool.

 

Then i allow myself to dream, say, after a summer vacation of boot i get my pressed uniform, on my 10 day vacation in the fall i go to all of my teachers, in front of kids i know, clean shaven with perfect posture, that white hat shining, i get to shake their hands, tell them what i'm going to be doing (I.E iraq, MSG duty) and just be so proud...thats something i seriously look forward too.

 

I guess it all boils down to this...is my dad right? Am i throwing away my life? Is it stupid to turn down college football to enlist and follow my dreams of fighting for my country while im still young?

 

Everybody is so against this, it seems like i'm the only one who wants it,

 

Thanks guys, sorry this is so long

[Mr. Honeytoast]

I think enlisting is a very honorable way to serve your country.

Just remember:

It's just like Xbox,

Only you die .............. sometimes

[Serendipity1607307077]

My stepdad (who died a couple of years ago, not from war though) actually served in WWII. He didn't tell us much about the war, only that his younger brother died, and he went deaf in his left ear from an explosion near him... I think it was a part of him that he wished he could remove..

 

The military is always made to sound cool and very exciting, but think about it - war is a waste of life, and even though you want to be recognised for your achievements, you can do that in ANY career if you put your mind to it..

 

Think about your future... do you want to have a wife and kids that you can lavish love and attention on? What if you survive from going to Iraq and whatever but only have one arm?

 

Your parents are probably very frightened at the thought of your dying or losing you... and I think that's understandable... you can always enter the reserves so you can get experience and training that way, and I am sure your parents would prefer that greater to you being in the frontlines.. can you imagine the pain of raising a child and then have him/her get killed in a war? I am sure that it wouldn't be easy...

 

People who have just returned from war also suffer immense hardships when trying to fit back into society as well.. there has been a big study and debate about this in Australia (yes, it was on Triple J radio) a few months ago, where they actually spoke to people who had returned to Australia after a stint in Iraq... some of them had seen their friends and even their family getting killed right in front of their eyes..

 

Just think about it carefully and think about your future carefully. It is honorable yes, but is it worth losing your life over? You only get one chance at living..

[justlookin]

My sugestion!!!!Take a trip to your local veterans hospital and get some feedback.

[redandblack]

Hey,

 

Although I am not in the military, I have a few things that you might appreciate reading.

 

My extremely close friend joined when he was seventeen. He regrets this decision to this day (he is 20 now). According to him, when he left for the army, he was young and still learning to deal with emotion and relationship. At basic training they broke him down (something everyone goes through at basic) and they taught him how to deal with his emotions. In his words "in basic training they teach you to push away all emotions and view people as objects." He attributes a lot of his severe relational and emotional "immaturity" to this teaching. This guy would definitely tell you to not join unless you are positive you want to make a career in the military. He would tell you to not lie to yourself about what you do in the military and deal in fact.

 

Now, I have another close friend who joined at the same time. He is currently doing an ROTC program and has no problem with the prospect of killing other humans or going to war. His future is looking up financially--he is persuing a career in the military. This friend would tell you to join if you either truly want to spend your work life in the military. Also, there are a lor of economic perks involved.

 

Whatever you do, think HARD about this. Do not lie to yourself or you may regret this decision. Remember, you are giving eight years of your entire life away and possibly all of your life.

 

Goodluck in your decisions! I hope I helped.

[theantibarbie23]

i have a question, but here's the story behind it.

 

Recently, as most guys my age i am having strong feelings about serving in my country. Most people would just say, "yes! go ahead, enlist! We are so proud..." but not my parents. I guess it all boils down to this...is my dad right? Am i throwing away my life? Is it stupid to turn down college football to enlist and follow my dreams of fighting for my country while im still young?

 

I think some of your father's opposition may be due to the fact that we are at war right now and he wants to keep you from putting yourself in harm's way. He doesn't want you to end up hurt, disabled, or in a body bag. When your child is young you try and protect them from the evils of the world and the desire to keep your child safe doesn't end when they hit 18.

 

Seriously though, you have to REALLY think this through. I had a cousin whom just got back from Iraq whom is only 20 years old and is suffering from severe PTSD. He's not the same person anymore and may never be again. He's haunted by nightmares of dead children - collateral damage. His best friend died in his arms and he's seen many more friends buried.

 

I'm not telling you not to serve your country but don't go and enlist if you think this is going to ANYTHING like the movies. There is NOTHING glamorous about war.

[Shadows Light]

Your mom and dad love you very very much. I'm a mother of daughters. I don't have a son...but if I did...I know that I would love him with all my heart and want to protect him and only want for the best for him, just as I do my daughters. No, I would be scared that I would lose my son to a war that I don't know to much about, not nearly enough about. I'm selfish that I'd want my son here, with me..to watch him grow into a man, marry and give me grand-children that look like him. So I can love them too. As a mother... I have the obligation to serve and protect.

 

However, I also know that I'd have to "LOVE" my child enough to let him/her live their life and to be happy. When all is said and done.. their happiness is the most important thing in LIVING this life. As my mother once told me... I don't like everything you do, or all the choices you make, but I love you. And no matter what you do.. you do it for you... I gave you life..NOW LIVE IT. So, if my son/daughter wanted to serve his/her country...I would be the proudest mother ever..and love them. I'd be scared... and yeah darlin... I most probably would try to talk them out of the decision... for "myself".. to keep them safe.

 

There's a man in my life that I am deeply in Love with. He is USMC.. he always will be. That part of his life scares me... what he did to serve and his missions scare me. I shutter to think of what he's seen, what he's lived through... and the baggage he will forever proudly carry. And I am so very proud of him. I am so proud that he did serve. Its what makes him ...him. Its that part of him that is special. He'll always be USMC whether he's out or in, there in uniform... or walking amonst us. Its something that never goes away. You can see it in the way he see's the world, in the way he walks, the way he moves, talks and his attitude. He's still... serving..lol... always helping others before himself. LOL. and thats what I love about him most.

 

You know.... if he could go back in there, he'd have been there. LOL. And as proud of him as I am.. and as much as I would love nothing more than for him to be HAPPY.. for him to do what gets his rocks off... I'm that selfish that I thank my lucky stars he's with me, I would not get a moments peace or sleep if he was away... proud yes... I'm very proud of him... but selfish more, because I need him here.. flesh and blood.

 

So... I can dig where your dads coming from. He loves you. Military is NOT just for "united states misplaced children" its a place for people who believe in freedom and want to protect it. Its for people who want to serve and want to give. Its for people who want to grow and learn and be counted. YOU can achieve in the military...its like anything else.. its what you put into it. A college degree, does NOT guarantee you a future, a job or a career. Its just another key. The military?? well you may not choose to climb the ranks and get an education.. thats your choice.. but one things is for sure... it will make you a MAN. Its not for the weak knee'd. It quickly weeds through the garden.

 

Just remember.. if you go... you will never never never be innocent again. Your innocence will be replaced with a knowing.. to few know. Take heed.. its not glamorous.... its a 180 degree life change... you'll never be the same again.

 

So... where your HEART leads you... go. LIVE.. be happy.

 

One of the best things my B-BAM.. taught me... lol...

 

IMPROVISE / ADDAPT / OVERCOME

[RayKay]

I think your father's response is out of fear too, there is a war going on right now, and people dying everyday, whom are young just like you. It's hard.

 

That being said, if you truly want to do it once you have all the information, go for it. I think the military is great for some people, and you can have a career if you make the right choices both in it, and once you leave (though its an adaptation after).

 

I was in the military up here, and really enjoyed it, but got out after I did my contract as I knew it was not for me forever for many reasons. It was my mother whom first encouraged me to try it out and supported me in it. I have several friends still in, and know more whom are enlisting and I encourage them too. Of course we are not in Iraq right now here, but I have known of people whom died in Afghanistan during last few years that my friends knew. Many of the friends I made with one of the National Guard Units in the US while I was in, I wonder about everyday.

 

Just be VERY aware before you sign up. A military recruiter WILL make it sound glamorous, but the realities are far different - and I would really suggest you talk to veterans, soldiers who have been there. It is NOT like the movies. At all. Dying is NOT glamorous. It sounds like you also feel a need to be remembered, or useful, but there are other ways to do that. I know many people who signed up and found they were a bit mislead - there is a lot of pressure to recruit numbers right now on recruiters. When you sign up, you are no longer your own anymore, despite the "Army of One" slogans, you are theirs. You cannot decide where to go, when to back off, when to fight or not fight. You may end up putting your life at risk every day, and you don't have option of saying "not today". There are people who come back mentally harmed, physically harmed, and never the same again after seeing way too much, knowing too much.

 

There is also the issue of what it does to family, I have seen MANY families split up due to the time spent away by military spouses, or how hard it is to move the family around all the time. You don't have a choice either. Many will also be afraid to get involved with someone in the military for many reasons. It's a LOT of stress on the family. Issues of infidelity can be high, on both sides.

 

I also think it might be a good idea to wait until January as it was suggested - find out what your offers are. The military will STILL be there in four years if you opt to go to college on scholarship, and you can STILL join afterwards, and still get in an officer training program too which is better for career advancement in many ways, and so forth.

 

The bottom line is - it's not just about uniforms and shiny boots, or medals and glamour. Boot camp will be hard, but it is NOTHING compared to what comes after. Far from it, and you really need to know these things first. I have NOTHING against the military, I support it, have been in it, but I really think everyone should know beforehand what they are getting into. It's a very different life, and not like the movies or always what the recruiters tell you.

[Shadows Light]

I'm right there with KayRay...its not all guts and glory. January is not all that far off for more data to come in and for you to make a decision. Wait until you get all the information. She's right.. don't talk to a recruiter.. talk to those who have served.

 

There are many ways to leave an epitath... and as touching as the Private Ryan scene is... its a dramatized movie. Take it for what it is.

 

There are many ways to serve besides military. There is the medical field. There is being a fire fighter, emt, police... tonz of ways to serve.

 

We all leave our marks on the world in some way shape or form. If that is the only impedious and reason you have for a yen for the military.. think it through.

 

As KayRay said.. there are things that happen in the military that when you get out... you will NEVER be the same. Personally, after my brother served... I'd have run a mile from a military man asking me out. Back in the day... I'd have NEVER considered it. Why??? because I knew his nightmares... he carried much with him. And thats more than I could have handled in a partner. sooooooo... thats something to consider.

 

Just make sure you gather all the data from as many sources that you can to have enough to base a decision on. I'm sure that your parents would also respect your decision more if you built a solid enough case and showed that you'd left no stone unturned and considered all eventuallities.

[metro_girl]

I work with the military. There's always time to join the military after college. I think you should consider college and maybe ROTC if that's possible. I've seen how difficult it is for people to try to finish a college degree if they put it off.

[Lovin187]

hey... well i read what you wrote... and im glad that you want to help the cause. Im currently in the dessert and i had your options and i choose to join because i wanted to make a diffrence. I feel that i do that. Im in the Air Force. Ive seen how soldiers get treat in the marines and the army, and its not good. im glad that i joined the air force. there are many things that you dont know of how the military works. just remember that when you sign that paper and take that oath, your theres for 4 to 6 years... and then after that, they can still recall you.

 

In the education part of the aspect, yea you can go to school while your in the military but being the in the marines you probably wont get that oppertunity. Its all about what you want to do in the military. you want to pick up a gun and go after people and see a lot of action, than the marine way is to go. just ask around, im sure that there is military people that would love to help you. just reply to me or something. okay?! if you get the chance.

[marielblewis]

I read you post with great interest. I want to keep my reply brief, but I will say that you must realize that Saving Private Ryan is a movie. While there are some parallels to actual service, it is a glamorous version of military service. Most people in the military do not go "to war" per se. For example, my husband is a communication technician. We have lived in Turkey, and Japan. He has been to the Middle East, but never in direct combat. He does serve our country (and as his wife I do too), but serving is much more than missles and bonding over death.

 

As for your parents concerns, well there are many occupations that are statistically more dangerous than military service.

 

Also, you can do both. Go to college and join as a commisioned officer. You will be living the best of both worlds in that situation. You will still need to work with a recruiter about joining ROTC. ROTC will give you an opprtunity to become better aquanted with the military lifestyle.

 

As a sidenote please remember that it is the recruiter JOB to get you to enlist. I know personally that they are not beyond stretching the truth to get you to do so. Double check everything they say with a second reliable source. They are a bit like car salesmen...they will do anything to get you in that car.....

 

If you want to e-mail me privately with ?s my e-mail is email removed

 

I can give you my husband's e-mail as well.

 

We do love our life, BTW.

[Cece11]

I think you should follow your heart. It's all up to you. You can get the college education with what you want to do either way. I think it is very honorable of you to do something like this. My fiance signed up with the Marines when he was 17. Just remember...recrutiers are for recruiting. They will tell you stuff to try and get you to join. It looks good on them. You will have the honor if and when you get through with it. My uncle served with the Navy and retired at 39 years old. He is very high skilled. Has everything he has ever wanted. He is still married to the girl who said she would be waiting for him when he returned. Everything turned out good for him. I know you are probably thinking of the Marines, because it is the hardest. Choose your options wisely. If your parents disapprove, well it is your decision. If you really want this, then you will probably join anyways...right? I commend you for what you are doing...just choose your options wisely. Good-luck to you!!

 

-Cece

[tangoecho]

As a former military person and someone who worked with the Army Reserve for a few years during the Iraq war, I want to say I absolutely loved my Air Force time. BUT, I did not serve during a war so my experience is not like those who actively now see combat.

 

Personally, I think if you want to try the military now, go for it. I would suggest you stay away from both the Marines and the Army (go Air Force or Navy) and demand in writing as part of your enlistment contract before you leave for basic training which job you will be trained for. Don't believe a recruiter when he says he can't guarentee a job. If you get the proper ASVAB scores for a certain career field, you can request it and they are able to project if they will need a person for that job. And/or when timewise they will need a person. So if that means waiting 2 more months to go to basic, DO IT, if means getting the job YOU want. And be smart, sign up for a job that has after military career opportunities. While you might think it's "romantic" to be out in the field, truthfully, it's not. Military recruiters learn real quick what words to use to make it seem like being a machine gunner is the best job in the world. Don't believe anything they say, only believe what it is writing. Learn something career while that challenges and interests you, that you can use afterwards. Be an electrician, a weather forecaster, an air traffic controller, a dental Hygienist or a physical therapist. Learn languages or become an intelligence analyst or learn maintenance on the big planes in the Air Force.

Good luck!

[dragon111]

Football, come on! get real, i know America has a thing about sports, but to me, that would be a waste.

 

My brother is in the British army.

 

It is not all medals and clean uniforms, it is not like that at all.

 

You will be pushed to the limits of your endurance and beyond. You will freeze in the cold, drown in mud, burn in the sun, be eaten by insects, gassed so that you spew, marched day and night until you cant walk. You will be hunted and "tortured" and will hunt and destroy. They will push you further and further and they will show you no mercy. That's how you make soldiers.

 

My brother was leading a small detachment of men the other day on a training exercise, they couldnt locate the enemy for two days. They got frost bite in the hills and when they returned after heavy casualties due to "enemy" fire they stood guarding the queen for tourists. They give you no quarter.

 

My brother is extremely proud to be part of the British army. But remember, there is no glory in war. People die.

 

My brother enjoys the army. Companys will recognise this experience. There are many opportunities in the army. Sure, it's hard, but it has meaning, purpose and brothership.

 

Ignore the films, films are emotional nonsense, war is real, if this is your basis to join the army, you wont make it. Sure, you need a higher calling to make it through, for queen and country or any personal desire and ambition, but don't confuse reality with fiction.

 

(my brother has only served in Bosnia- he'll probably be going to Afghanistan- soldiers get frightened too- but good soldiers are never as frightened as their enemy)