first date after break-up...

[Dogg]

hey, I have been talking to this girl on the computer for like a week now, and we had made plans to meet up today to go out for drinks and what not. I am interested in seeing what she is really like in person and stuff, but I'm not gonna lie, I have been out of the "game" for so long that I do not really know what to do or how to "play" this situation. I am nervous and I feel a little guilty at the same time. I feel guilty because I am not over my ex at all (I know that is stupid) and I am nervous because I just do not know how to act on this "date" or what kind of htings to say or do. If anyone has any good suggestions, I am all ears. FRom the pictures that this girl has sent to me, she is really good looking and sounds really nice and cool!! I am definitly interested...I'm just really scared to be honest!!!! help!

[Beec]

The best thing you can do are to be friendly, be a good listener (look at her face when she is speaking) and jsut try to enjoy yourself.

 

My one easy thing to do: When a woman is talking and I am on a date with her, I like to keep my eyes in the triangular area formed by the tip of her nose and the outside corners fo her eyebrows. When she ist alking, my eyes would be there. When she was finishing saying something, my eyes would be right on hers and I would hold that for a moment after she was done. It makes people feel appreciated, and that makes them feel good and want to be around you more. It works.

[nataliejulie]

Just act yourself. Act the same way she's known you to be. Don't hold any expectations and just enjoy yourself as you would with friends.

 

It's not bad..... I went on two so far. Only bad thing was, he kissed me on the second date and I totally felt a) awkward to kiss someone else after so long b) like i was cheating on my ex or something.

 

But hell, total self confidence boost! Good luck!

[OCD]

Same here NJ...I had my first kiss, so to speak, over the weekend. It felt very weird, like it wasn't right. But yes it was a confidence booster. Just be yourself, laugh, make jokes, have a great time. What ever you don't dwell on your ex in front of them. I almost slipped into that when she wanted to talk about past relationships...be careful.

 

OCD

[Anthony M]

Whatever you do don't talk about the ex! Don't drown her in your sorrows! Other than that be your self.

[Dogg]

I would never talk about my ex, in fact I don't even want her to know I have an ex the likes of which I actually do. I do not even talk to my friends or family baout my ex, only all of you so do not worry the thought of that would never cross my mind. I can see how you said that it feels like cheating on your ex nataliejulie, I feel like just talking to someone else is like this terrible thing and I actually feel really bad about it, but screw it, she broke up with me right...at the same time, it just makes me wonder, what she may be doing now???????

[Dogg]

god, I feel like I am sneaking around on my girlfriend!!!!! I feel so shady about going on a date with this girl today like I'm cheating or something even though I do not have a girlfriend and I'm not cheating. I guess it just feels really strange to be doing something /taking out a girl other than her. is this normal? why is this soooo difficult to do?

[Beec]

Because you have not done it for a long time. That's all.

 

But it is like riding a bike. If you know how to do it, you kind of know how. It will come back to you.

 

That's not saying there is no room for improvement. But get the first one under your belt and jsut try to enjoy it.

[kellbell]

Hey Dogg!

 

I am so psyched you are going out on a date tonight. Just like Beec said, it's like riding a bike. Just be yourself, treat her like a lady, and try to enjoy your time with her. I am sure she will be nervous too. Let us know how it goes.

 

P.S. Don't feel guilty about dating, you have every right to and you are not sneaking around on your ex. As soon as you realize that, the more you will be able to relax when you go out on dates.

[Dogg]

well, my "date" did not happen last night. we spoke and just decided that it more or less was not a good day for either of us. I was truly and honestly not at all disappointed but actually a bit releived as ridiculous as that sounds. the thought of going on a date was really making me feel quite uneasy and nervousa like I was doing somehting wrong! I think that it may be the fact that tomorrow is my ex's birthday and that I am still wondering and soul searching about what if anything I should do about it? I think that I am going to send a card today, or maybe just a quick text tomorrow, or do nothing....I don't even know anymore, all I do know is that I still think about her and care about her immensly and do not want her to think that I am a huge a** hole for not remembering her birthday, I know alot of you will say that that does not matter and that I should not care about what she thinks, but I do.

 

anyway, I spoe to this other girl last night and said that we would do something today, but as of this moment (it is 7:45 am) I'm just not feeling up to it at all, I don't know why because I do really want to meet this girl in person because she does sound so nice and cool when we talk and stuff but I just don't know...I feel like an idot right now, maybe I'm just scared....

[Beec]

Just meet her and have fun, you're nervous that all to be out doing something you have not done in a while. It's like you are about to jump out of an airplane, and you are scred of the fall. Well, keep this one waiting and you won't get a chance to jump in with her again. Go for it. And if you fall, the fall is not far. You've got nothing to lose. JUMP!