men, ego and pride

[teacup]

what happens when a man's ego or pride is hurt?

 

can this ego and pride be hurt if say....the girl he liked likes his friend and tells him about it?

 

how can this wounded ego or pride be soothed?

 

do all men have this? and how does it make them react?

[smallworld]

Hi Teacup, I think most people would be hurt if someone was dating them and expressed interest in one of their friends. The best thing you can do is to have a heart to heart talk with him, let him know that you really feel bad about hurting his feelings, and that you understand why he's so upset. Be honest. Tell him why you were dating him and his friend simultaneously. He may or may not forgive you, but at least if you're honest with him, you have a much better chance of working things out. Good luck!

[teacup]

nope. not gonna work. i'll be surprised if he ever talks to me again.

 

he's mad at his friend. and his friend is confused and doesnt know why.

 

his friend is pushing me away, thinking it's because his friend likes me.....which i dont think is it, i think it's ego, pride. this all really sucks.

[smallworld]

I'm sorry it's not going to work. (I try to treat others as I wish to be treated. That's why I suggest you try talking to him.) But what other options do you have if you want him back? And if you don't, then I guess this was just a philosophical exercise?

[keeponsmiling]

Everyone gets this, well, atleast i do and i am a girl. But yeah, being told by the person you like that your friend (friends normally have rivalries -spelling) is the one she prefer's could dent anyone.

 

When my pride is wounded i normaly turn that hurt into anger and resentment.. not a very good thing to do as i have lost many months of friendship with people who needed my support and friendship, despite them hurting me.

 

Do things that make you feel good about yourself, spend time with people who care about you. Talk about it, don't bottle it up. good luck with the healing x

[teacup]

it makes no sense to me because i think he's a great guy too. i secretly like both......but i like one better than the other.

 

but i think i will be fine no matter what happens because i choose to be fine.

[sparticuss]

Men havent got a large ego in the first place so there's not too much to bruise.

 

For instance look at how much more time women spend preening than men.

Better still look at the way a woman reacts if she loses a breast from breast cancer. Most are hysterical and completely incapable of functioning as normal humans wihtout reconsructive surgery. That's ego. Thats pride.

 

Meantime I've had cancerous chunks cut out of my FACE, and I'm not going back for surgery to fix the scars. The ego is not worth the pain.

 

Where men really hurt is when their love for a woman is dashed. Many women mistake the broken heart for a brusied ego but this is not so. Thats where men really hurt and the biggest, strongest men hurt worst of all.

[teacup]

sigh....i think he is awesome though. i honestly hold him in high esteem. sighhhhhhhh............fate should just give me the one that likes me more. because i honestly could be happy with either.

 

why's he mad at his friend??

[DN]

Men havent got a large ego in the first place so there's not too much to bruise.

 

For instance look at how much more time women spend preening than men.

Better still look at the way a woman reacts if she loses a breast from breast cancer. Most are hysterical and completely incapable of functioning as normal humans wihtout reconsructive surgery. That's ego. Thats pride.

 

Meantime I've had cancerous chunks cut out of my FACE, and I'm not going back for surgery to fix the scars. The ego is not worth the pain.

 

Where men really hurt is when their love for a woman is dashed. Many women mistake the broken heart for a brusied ego but this is not so. Thats where men really hurt and the biggest, strongest men hurt worst of all.

 

Just as a point of information - my sister had a breast removed due to cancer ten days ago. She has chosen not to have reconstructive surgery and will just have a prosthesis cup in her bra so she "doesn't look lopsided". Why? "Not worth it" she said.

[RescueDiver]

what happens when a man's ego or pride is hurt?

 

can this ego and pride be hurt if say....the girl he liked likes his friend and tells him about it?

 

how can this wounded ego or pride be soothed?

 

do all men have this? and how does it make them react?

 

1). The guy will react negatively in any number of ways... he may withdraw from you, he may get angry, he may make snide remarks, etc...

 

2). Yes that would definitely bruise a guy's ego.

 

3). Well, he will either need time to get over it, or, someone to show a greater interest in him instead of his friend.

 

4). All men have some level of pride and/or ego (and so do women).

[PocoDiablo]

It sounds like his friend violated his trust. I vaguely recall mentioning this to you some time ago. Dating two men who are friends frequently ends badly.

 

I think this has more to do with lost trust of a friend than ego or pride. I cannot speak to a solution because I have never seen situations like this work out where all three people came back together on speaking terms. One person is going to be left out.