Is your ex with someone new? Relax

[Regretfulman]

Ok, this is the perfect time for me to be writing this, I'm finally cooling off from emotions stemming from finding out my ex is seeing someone new. It's the holiday season and that just makes it so much more difficult, especially since we were together last year at this time. Obviously I care deeply for my ex and would love a second chance to be with her. I have finally realized that even though she is with someone else, it makes no sense to sit and be upset.

 

Judging from past experience the ex always returns, and usually for more then friendship. I had an ex once who dumped me, was engaged 8 months later, got married a few months after that, and a few months into the marriage she was coming back to me again. Today she is going through a divorce and wants me back. I've been long over this girl so all i do is smile, knowing that she now realizes what she lost out on.

 

My current ex dumped me and went right to a new guy, and it hurts. She wants to be friends and calls me, emails me, and instant messages me all the time. She claims to be happy with the new guy, and i believe it. They have only dated for 1 month, they are still in the early "honeymoon" stage.

 

One thing we must understand is that a relationship is all fun and games in the beginning, but soon the true colors come out and thats when the tough times come. My ex and I were happy for awhile too, then after about 6 weeks she turned into a different person, her true self. It is at this time of change, that most relationships fizzle out. Right now i'm banking on the fact that 2 things will happen.

 

1. She will miss me during no contact and realize how much i meant to her

 

2. She will eventually end up fighting with the new guy, see the grass isn't greener, and then want me back.

 

I, however, am not holding out hope that this happens, i will do NC and get over her, then once im healed, if she does come back, i will be able to make a better decision as to whether i want to truly go back to her. So you see, it does no good to wonder or worry if your ex is with someone new, because 90% of new relationships end, and once the honeymoon stage is over, thats when it usually happens. There is always a chance people, but always always look out for yourself first!!

[jigsaw]

How long does the honeymoon stage last? I've heard about 4-6 months average. My ex has been with her rebound for almost four months. I am not waiting around, but I do pay attention.

[Regretfulman]

I heard it was 3 months, but its basically when you let your guard down and get comfortable and let your true colors show. this is when the other person sees the real you and will either stay or run, lol

[darkblue]

How long does the honeymoon stage last? I've heard about 4-6 months average. My ex has been with her rebound for almost four months. I am not waiting around, but I do pay attention.

 

The honeymoon phase can last, as long as the couple makes it last.

[Regretfulman]

I Dont Agree, At Some Point You Relax And Things Cool Down, You Get Bored, And Then The True Test Of Love Comes In

[darkblue]

I Dont Agree, At Some Point You Relax And Things Cool Down, You Get Bored, And Then The True Test Of Love Comes In

Yes, but it is dependant on the couple when those things happen.

 

You cannot sit there and tell me that everyone will follow a time restriction on he 'honeymoon phase'.

[Bigbilly]

I don't think there is a definite time period, but I do agree that there is an initial stage in every relationship where the hormones are burning the strongest, and everything is wonderful. After the two people have spent a length of time together, the hormones start to taper off and their little flaws and imperfections become apparent. That's when the real test begins. I believe that's when maturity and compatibility become important

[Cyndane]

I don't know Regretfulman...I'm not sure the ex always returns...Funny but my ex recently told me he met "the one" after having a one night stand with her (that obviously progressed to something more). He's planning to marry her and move overseas to be with her. Do you think their honeymoon phase will end soon?

[Jut]

I agree with Mouse here. Although its true that the honeymoon phase doesnt last long very very few go back to the ex for a relationship. SHe might come back for support from a friend but i highly doubt they come back for the relationship. For eg when they broke up with you they didnt go back to the ex they had before you. THis is the most general scenario not always true.

GO ahead and live ur life, they are ex for a reason. You are thinking about the ex coming back to satisfy your ego. ANd even if she comes back believe me you wont like it, after a few days you might dump her.

[moondog627]

You definitely can't generalize how long the "honeymoon" will last. My current ex and I had a year long honeymoon phase. And I DON'T anticipate her coming back at all. That's just not like her. If anything (and this is a 1 in a million shot), she would come back YEARS from now. And that would only be due to the fact that she's young and has yet to get a dose of reality. But even then I'm not looking forward to it. Plus, I could never take my ex back now knowing she's slept with someone else. Ain't happenin. Wanna make yourself feel good? Be TEN TIMES the man now than when you were with her. Improve yourself physically and emotionally. And to really put the icing on the cake do it all for yourself and not so she realizes what she's lost.

[jigsaw]

Plenty of my friends, myself included have had ex's come back to them. Two I know of are now happily married. Some have tried again and had it not work out. I think a reunion is totally possible if the relationship wasn't abusive, and/or didn't end with a major blowout. I think it's also important that you use the time apart to take care of yourself, learn and grow.

[Regretfulman]

i agree with all your posts, but i will say that i've seen the ex come back so many times its crazy. it would be nice if she did come back sometime, but of course its not guaranteed. But with my ex, she has a history of going back to old boyfriends, it's called "recycling". Everyone's case is different, but i feel that once the honeymoon stage is over, thats when they truly decide to remain with the new person or consider someone else, usually an ex. Another thing is, she jumped right into this new relationship, and let me tell you rebounds rarely ever work. Will she come back to me? maybe or maybe not, time will tell, im just guessing based on the situations i've seen and been through. Like i said earlier, my one ex got married and a few years later still wants me back, its silly, but psychology is complicated.

[Regretfulman]

i appreciate everyone's feedback though, thank you very much

[Regretfulman]

Moondog, i totally agree, you have to make yourself better for yourself. Lets say you get all down and depressed after getting dumped, the best medicine is changing yourself for the better. You now become a better person and u can always say to yourself that it wasnt you that got dumped, it was the "old me". this really helps the ego heal

[coooolsome]

I think that hope keeps you from moving on. Best thing to do is to accept your ex is not coming back and moving on with your life. I used to hope and hope and hope and the only thing it does is sets you up for disappointment. I now have faith that everything will work out for me in life and that is it.