feel very insecure

[danylion]

me and my BF split up and got back together. He left the flat because he thought he didnt want a future with me. We were in love and it was totally out of the blue. We got back together after alot of communicating, he realised he was stupid and wanted to be together, a future, the works.

 

He was worried that he couldnt provide for me, we want a mortgage and he was worried he could not contribute. Well we decided our love was stronger than the material side and got back together. I love him so very much amd he has been amazing in making me feel secure. However he is trying to earn more money so we can build a future, he is thinking of children. The progress is steady and healthy we are still living apart as i have rented out my spare room slao I felt it was too soon to move back together (1.5 months).

 

As were are living separately, He said is taking advantage of this and is taking on more at work which means he'll be living there (he works with wildlife). This doubles his salary, which is great and means we have the financial security that we didnt before, we can plan.

 

I am really pleased for him but when I talk to him just day to day I feel angry like I am going through the emotions that he is leaving me again even though I said no to moving back in so soon. I am trying to suppress it but i got upset just now and put the phone down to stop me from saying anything further . I feel selfish but I am insecure and I can't shake it. Is it because I don't trust him as he finished it before? Its driving me mad.

 

I know this move will be good for him, but i feel so nervous and insecure. It is a horrible feeling because I love him very much and I scares me that i feel such anger when its a good thing for both of us.

#-o

[lovecrazy]

Darling I am sorry you are feeling like this! But it will work out. He is just trying to be a man and support you! So just give it time. and if its not working tell him to move back in!

[ZoeMatthews]

Winschica, you are soo right!

 

Your man just wants to show you that he can take care of you. men don't feel like they are truly men if they cannot provide financially for their family. Its typical male behaviour...

 

give him a chance to get his crap together...and don't get angry..this might be the break that you both needed to cement the relationship.

 

ZM

[Vanilla]

honey i felt the same way too after my boyfriend left me once. for weeks, after i was scared hed leave again out of the blue...that he'd just say the same things without me having a clue that way...

 

but it sounds like he wants it to work thereforeee-he wants to work harder and earn more money for your relationships sake.

 

go out, do things, be independent...make him want you more, miss you more...dont ignore him, but take time for yourself.

 

its best and that way you dont drive yourself mad thinking about it.

[danylion]

Thank you all, I will rethink and try to see the bigger picture. For the record, I do love him and appreciate what he is doing, I suppose all the mixed emotions are still residue from the initial break up. I hope that will pass.

Vanilla good idea, all of you cheers.

[Neglected, Verbally Emot]

could he be sending subtle signals of unhappiness? If so this can trigger your fear.

[danylion]

I hope not, I think its me wanting to be in control after the break up but now he is planning for our future and I deep down I do want to live with him again. But I did say I wasnt ready, so he is saving maoney by living at work so he can prove how serious he is about our future.