How to hate?

[Warbeast]

I am always sad all the time because I care for some people that could care less about me.....So it makes me sad because they treat me like crap.

 

How do I stop my feelings, I don't want to care about people anymore. I want to care about myself and noone else because everytime I do this then I get hurt. How do I start hating everyone..?

[darkblue]

Hating everyone is not the answer. That would lead to worse consequences than people treating you badly.

 

You must be a good person to care about people - that, in itself, is not necessarily a bad thing. But when they abuse your nature; it becomes a negative.

 

Do not do for others, what they would not do for you.

[ShySoul]

Interesting perversion of the golden rule DB. I'd recommend the original:

 

"Do onto others as you would have them do onto you."

 

Hating is not the answer. Not caring about others is not the answer. That would just be sinking to their level and making the world a colder, harsher, more cruel world then it already is. Too many people walk around with the attitude of having to put themselves first. Not enough people put others first. It would be a shame to lose someone with a good heart like you seem to have to the dark side of the force.

 

These people who treat you unfairly, they shouldn't be hated or looked down upon. They should be pitied. They are running from there own inner demons and fears and the only way they can feel good about themselves is to treat others badly. These are the kind of people who need love the most. If you treat them bad and don't care for them, then you will just show them that no one cares for them and they will keep up their attitudes. Same with anyone else. If you treat them bad, they will feel just as you are feeling now, and are likely to take the same actions in only caring about themselves. But if we love one another, even when they are mean to us, then it may just start a chain reaction. Do you want the chain of love to end with you?

 

And even if they don't change their actions, the important thing is that you raised above that. You were better then them in this regards. This is about the kind of person you want to be. Do you really want to be someone who doesn't care about others? Or do you want to be the good person you are now?

 

The thing is to not openly invite people to walk on you. It's about learning boundaries and being able to say, calmly and rationally, when you feel someone is doing something wrong. It's about not letting others take advantage of you, while at the same time not resorting to being mean or rude back.

[darkblue]

Interesting perversion of the golden rule DB.

By no means a 'perversion', I was just giving it in context.

[ShySoul]

Apologies darkblue. I was trying to expand my vocabulary and thought that I hadn't used that word in a long time. I think I meant an interesting take or twist. Everything cool?

[darkblue]

LOL - no offense taken Shy.

Christmas is soon enough; and I'll get you that dictionary

[RescueDiver]

Find a new crowd to hang out with. You shouldn't be friends with people that are making you feel like garbage. Then you won't have to hate anyone.

[Warbeast]

Yea I don't want to hate people. I am just upset because she treated me that way. It makes me sad that some people aren't as loving as me. I do have a problem though, sometimes I do let people walk all over me. I will do anything for anyone no matter if it screws up my plans or I can't afford to give them money I will give them everything in my pocket. I need to learn how to control it.

[ShySoul]

Warbeast, you have a good heart. You want to help people. That's something to be proud of, it says a lot about the kind of person you are. And that person is a good person who should feel good about himself.

 

Be careful when helping others though. Think about it first. If you can't afford to lend money, don't do it. Let them know that you would if you could, and that you are willing to help them out in any other way you guys can think of. You have to learn how to do what you need to do and get yourself and your situation in line first. Then if you want you can spend all your time helping others, being the friend that is always there. But you shouldn't do it to your detriment.

[Warbeast]

Yea thanks a lot guys, I needed someone to talk to. YOu all have been a big help, especially shy...thanks

[On The Road]

You can't turn those feelings off. Emotions aren't like lightswitches. Although i know most of us wish they were. THey are there for a reason. Hate is a very strong feeling that, in my own opinion, will only lead a person downhill. Try and communicate with these people. You will be happy you did.

[ShySoul]

No problem Warbeast. If you need someone to talk to again, just drop me a note and I'll be here. Best of luck.