how can i always be happy?

[PersonalMe]

i know this is almost imposible, considering life and its ups and downs, but i need ur help, motivation of some sort, i want to at least TRY to feel happy every day of my life, i just feel its a waste if i dont, maybe not even be extreamly happy, but just be satisfied with myself, the ppl around me, the things i do, my life overall...any suggestions? quotes? experiences? poems? i need motivation that will hopefully last a life time, so please anything u have can help. i just want to live everyday as if it were my last, live it to the max. thank u!

p.s. i get quite frustrated and angry easily, (which is probably y i have a hard time finding happyness so if any of u have some sort of "cure" for that, ID BE ENTERNALLY GRATEFUL! im open to all ideas!

THANK U!!

[TheRock]

Hello, I found that the more forgiving and and less critical I am of myself, the more forgiving I am of others. I try to live with integrity, but if I make a mistake I tell myself that I will do better next time rather than keep condemning myself. I have also learned to appreciate what I have, rather that waiting for something that I don't have to come along and make me happy. Hope that helps.

[shes2smart]

Happiness is a choice. The choice is in how you look at things.

 

F'rinstance...stuck in a traffic jam, you can choose to become angry and upset and scream in your car (all of which won't change anything and just serve to put you in a foul mood)....or you can choose to let go ("Oh, well, nothing I can do to make traffic move) and enjoy whatever time you're stuck there...find a good song on the radio, pop your favorite cd in the player, imagine what you'd do with your lottery winnings...all of which will serve to put you in a better mood and make the experience more pleasant.

 

It's my belief that our brains are hard-wired to notice what's wrong in our environment rather than what's right. Probably because we are genetically linked to ancestors who were likely to be eaten by some wild animal if they didn't notice "what's wrong." It takes some work, but you can re-train yourself to notice what's right.

 

There are some people who won't get on an airplane because they hear about a spectacular crash....but they fail to notice the long periods of time that pass with NO crashes. Days where everything works as it should and people get to their destinations on time and in one piece.

 

If there is anything I've learned in these 40-odd years, it is not WHAT happens in your life that will determine your level of happiness/unhappiness...it is how you CHOOSE TO VIEW what happens in your life that will determine your level of happiness/unhappiness. I've gone through a number of break-ups, financial issues, mental health issues, various physical injuries (2 of which should've had a bigger impact on my physical being than they did) Y'know, the physical therapist never told me most people who had that type of injury never regained full use of their arm until AFTER I was done with PT....I always assumed I'd have full use of my arm again, and lo and behold, I got exactly what I expected...Now, had he told me BEFORE we started that I wouldn't regain full use of my arm....

 

Point is this...I've had my share of life events that make other people bitter, angry, unhappy, depressed...but I chose (and choose on a daily basis) to NOT let that happen. I choose to be positive, I choose to play the hand I'm dealt the best I can....no matter how crappy that hand is.

 

And I choose to enjoy it all to the best of my ability...because it'll all be over way too fast.

[PersonalMe]

hi shes2smart, I totally understand what your saying and i honestly try to be the appyest person and i try to think positive but my bad temper just wont allow me to, it sux and its a bad habbit and i know i can change it, u seem like a smart person...is there anyway i can trick my mind or do something..ANYTHING to make me realise i dont have to stress out over every little thing!?

[shes2smart]

It is difficult at first to change your thinking habits. I used to be very pessimistic/depressed until sometime in my 20's when I got very, very tired of seeing the dark side of everything. I started reading a lot of different books trying to find ways to change that. Here are ones that stick out in my mind as being the most helpful to me...you can probably find them in the library:

 

Life 101 - Peter McWilliams (available online free at )

 

You Can't Afford The Luxury of A Negative Thought - Peter McWilliams (also online free here: )

 

You Can Heal Your Life - Louise Hay (this one has a lot of information about working with affirmations to change your thinking and if you change your thinking you change your life)

 

If you look in the 158's (dewey decimal system) you will find similar books as well. Just keep browsing until you find some that look interesting and speak to you. I adore Peter McWilliams...the way he wrote about this stuff made absolute sense to me, and I love his sense of humor, too. It wasn't until later that I learned that he struggled with chronic endogenous depression like I did. We spoke the same language because of that.

 

By the way, "chronic endogenous depression" is some fanicified way of saying I have ongoing (chronic) depression that has no outside cause (like the death of someone close to me or a divorce or the like)...my brain chemistry is such that it tends toward the melancholy side for no real reason at all. I have learned to manage it without the use of drugs on a regular basis, and have even come to see it as something of a gift. However there have been times when it's gotten particularly bad, and I have used anti-depressants for a limited amount of time to great effect.

 

When I first started learning about how changing the way you look at things can change the way you experience things, I thought it was a bunch of hogwash...too simplistic...too Pollyanna-ish...too feeble-minded. Then my practical side took over...it wasn't going to cost me anything to try it. I was getting these books from the library, so that wasn't costing me anything. The authors of these books weren't trying to sell me a program or a system or drugs. It wasn't going to take years of expensive therapy to try it....just some awareness, determination to do things differently, and the courage to change. So, with an attitude more based in "I'll prove these pop-psych simpletons wrong" than "I know this will work," I started experimenting.

 

The first affirmation I worked with was "I am willing to change." And the rest grew from there.

[ShySoul]

It is very easy to get down and be unhappy given all the bad things you hear about in this world. And of course you can't be happy all the time. But being happy for the most part isn't hard and doesn't require any magic tricks or special techinques. It just requires a little common sense.

 

1) Shift perspective. Don't look at the glass as half empty, see it as half full. Shes2smart gave the example of sitting in a traffic jam. Unhappy and half empty way of looking at it: I'm never going to make it there or I'll be late. Happy and half full way: More time to listen to the radio and hopefully hear my favorite song. You have to work late? Positive outlook: that means overtime and more money in the paycheck. Every situation has a silver lining in it, start looking for it, no matter how small it may be and concentrate on that instead of the bad stuff.

 

2) Focus on the good. Are you surrounding yourself with negativity? When you turn on the news do you see fires, accidents, kidnappings, people being robbed, etc? Are the people you are around getting you down? Time to find more positive things and influences. Find stories of positive things. If you search around you can find positive stories of positive things. Here's a start:

 

 

 

3) Focus on the good in you. We are all good people at heart. We all have skills and talents, traits that make us who we are. Remind yourself of those things in you. Do the things that make you happy. Do you like jogging? Acting? Arts and crafts? Video games? Whatever you find yourself having fun doing, do it (as long as its not something thats more harmful then it is good).

 

4) Do good for others. I find that I'm at my happiest when I'm making others happy. Knowing that I made a difference in someone's life and seeing them being sincerely grateful, helps me to see that this is many great things in this world, great people. It reminds me what life is really about. And that makes me feel good about myself, about the world in general. It also makes me happier.

 

I think this is especially true with children. Seeing a child smiling and happy can't help but to warm a persons heart. Hey, it warmed the Grinches heart and made him happy. Children I really believe understand what it is to be happy and joyful. Find that inner child in you. You won't regret it.

[_hopeless_]

People can waste their entire lives trying to find a easy way to happiness but it's a hard thing to find and it's alway within you... you can be happy you just have to choose to be happy

[PersonalMe]

hey all, sorry i read these a bit late, i was busy, but thank u sooo much!!! u all helped me, and im off to check the websites some of u put thank u again!!!