After the Break up...Picking yourself up!

[ZoeMatthews]

Okay, I have posted bits and pieces of my story since I joined the group.

 

I wanted to know what you peeps are doing to pick yourselves up?

 

Before I got together with my ex, I was into fitness and exercising...I was looking good...anyway, I even got him to lose a few pounds...

 

Eventually, I stopped taking care of myself and gained 15 lbs.

 

I got too comfortable.....ufortunately.......

 

So now, I have started exercising again and eating better.

 

I hope to lose those 15 pounds by the end of January...I already lost 2 of the 15..lol...

 

yeah..

 

what are you doing to improve your life?

 

ZM

[waylon]

Yeah I'm doing the fitness thing myself, except im trying to get bigger Picked up 9.7 lbs in about 7 weeks.

 

For me the working out thing works best, nothing beats the rush one feels after a workout.

 

Making new friends also helps a lot though...

[RayKay]

Glad to hear you are getting into working out.

 

For your future relationships - I don't think your health and fitness is something you should ever let slide... comfortable does not mean it's time to get unhealthy and lazy! It's not just for them you do it, it's ultimately for you. It's also why you need to do things you enjoy, so working out is not seen as a chore, but a passion and a lifestyle (along with good eatin'!).

 

And trust me, I know it is hard when you are living with someone to pry yourself away from snuggling up with them to go work out, but that is why for me a lifestyle compatibility is important - we can work out together, or take trips based on mountain biking for example where we share that passion together

 

Besides, after a good workout together, the blood is pumping, the endorphins rushing...you are all sweaty and hot...and....you both need a shower....all the ingredients for some more fun bonding in a more primal way

 

Anyway, for me, my ways of dealing are definitely through working out, or throwing myself into something new like a new class, or getting out there and meeting new people, getting in touch with old friends...and so forth.

[ZoeMatthews]

RayKay, you are so freakin' right!!

 

I made the mistake of putting him first in the relationship...and of course, when you do that, you tend to neglect your well being.

 

I had lost a lot of weight and I was very proud of myself!! then Boom! we got together and working out and eating well was not a priority anymore!

 

But I went to my doctor, had myself checked out and then after that, I started exercising...I even went for a walk last night because I was not motivated to do Tae Bo!

 

LOL...Its all about the endorphins and good old fashion sweating!! LOL

 

ZM

[TiredMan]

As someone who is really into exercise and stuff, I can agree with everything said. But, at the same time, when grieving, at least for me, I find it very difficult to work out. I have been in tears when at the gym and it's not very comfy. Or in tears on the treadmill. A lot of my weight training deals with very high intensity (sometimes to the point when i throw up or get close to that) so my mindset needs to not be totally destroyed.

 

But I have been able to keep up sorta.

 

I also try not to hold any feelings in. If I want to be an emotional wreck, Iet it out. If I feel very emotional but it's not coming out like I want it to, I'll pop in a very sad movie that I know will bring it out and I let it out. I know it doesn't feel very good but at least I got it out.

[RayKay]

Yeah, I know that feeling too. If I am shook up like that, I opt for running over lifting, for maybe obvious reasons, but I find running more cleansing, I can think and cry, and not worry about dropping a weight on myself.

 

For me, it's always been a release, just need to tailor it. Mountain biking is also not great when your eyes are getting all teary, trees don't care if your heart hurts already and don't move out of your way...lol.

 

I know someone I go to the gym with though whom was huge into lifting and working out (biked as well) and usually would work out after a break up...only he had broken up with a girl, realized he messed up, she was not coming back, and he could not work out for like two months. Different people, different reactions.

 

Yup, same here too, not someone who holds it in. For me writing is also a release, just writing thoughts out, crying as I write, and after I feel so much clearer and better....

[TiredMan]

Running actually works against me there since when I am upset or tense, I run differently and I usually end up getting hurt. I am trying to buy a heavy bag stand (I have a heavy bag, gloves and all that other stuff already) and try to use that for both cardio (it's an incredible cardio workout) and stress and anger relief. I used to do boxing years back and man do you get some good workout from it. I just hope it doesn't interfere with weight training.

 

I CAN work out when real heartbroken but it's not a good one and I might get hurt. When I am really motivated into the workout, I have incredible ones. But then again, when feeling real down, I don't eat well either.

[ocrob]

Working out is the best! I put on really loud music and just go. They say that working out gets the endorphines going. I always feel and sleep better after working out. Plus, you can't exactly ignore the view in the gym. I always think about my ex, but never in the gym. Maybe I should work out 24 hours a day.

[BillyJean714]

Hi Zoe,

 

What I've been doing? I forced myself to go out on a date. Going out on dates especially after a break up, although you don't really feel like it, helps out a lot. Although, the situation could get sticky if the other person wants to be in a relationship- that's why it's safe to be cautious and aware of whether or not, the other person has romantic feelings. It's better when things are mutual.

 

Other than that, I think it feels great to pick up a new pair of shoes. Just purchased a cute pair of pumps the other day, and I'm going to wear it the next time I hang out with the ladies!

 

What else to do? Take a break from dwelling on the computer. Staying on the computer really makes people dwell- best solution- just burn a few favorite CDs. Instead of playing mp3s on the computer, play your music on a cd player. That way, you don't turn on the computer and get tempted to dwell and dwell all over again.

 

Last but least, what also helps me a lot, is when I dance my heart out with my friends. Yes. That's right! It's very enjoying!

 

Take care & Good luck to the both of us in our healing process!