Dating again.....

[Justaguy21]

Well me and my ex are dating again after taking a 7 week break. She broke up with me saying she would never get back with me again and that she only loved me as a friend. Well weve been seeing each other and now are dating again. I asked if it was exclusive dating and she said no and how if I'm attracted to someone that I should go for it. Well she has been telling me that she wants us to work out but that I've been smothering her these past two days about the future of us. She keeps saying stuff like "lets just have fun, we have the whole summer" she also discusses what we would be like if we got back together. We have been intimate lately also which is nice. I want to take things slow but I don't even know when I can bring the topic of "us" without her getting upset. I asked her when it is a good time and she went from happy to talk to me to the sighing "i dont know" attitude. I just feel like I've taken a step back with us. I'm not going to to call her today, I don't want to pressure at all but then again it's not fair that I can't bring us up. I got kind of irratated last night on the phone with her and said "so we are just going to keep hooking up but never talk about us?" she replied no but she dosn't know right now. I then asked her if I was being used physically and she said "of course not" She said I'm not smothering her physically just about our relationship. Any suggestions?

-Me

 

Added: I also was going to say that she would constantly say how when her friends would try to hook her up with guys that these other dudes didn't even compare to me in the slightest (big surprise) . She also said that she is still very attracted to me but when I said I love you to her she said she couldnt say that back right now.

[foolish]

So you're still talkin to her huh. I think she's just confused right now. There is obviously something there but she dosen't want to go deep for fear of losing interest right now. Give her some more time and she'll come around.

[brandos lovechild]

I'm sorry she is putting you through this. She isn't confused,she knows exactly what she wants, believe me !! She is showing typical symptoms of someone who is feeling lonely but is passing the time with someone that she has NO romantic interest in. If a girl loves a guy,she doesn't tell him he's "smothering her"...girls say that to guys who they want to see less of. ADVICE : She thinks she is calling the shots and YOU REALLY DON'T WANT THAT. She will continue to hook up with you until she finds someone else. If you have strong feelings for this girl,disconnect her from your life completely,DO IT NOW !! Otherwise you will get your hopes up,she'll find someone else, and then your faith and respect for women will take a beating because she has left you in agony ! If you have little feeling for her,then continue with your set-up,because when that new guy comes along,you won't feel any loss. TRUST ME...the things she has said to you and the way she is acting...you are only temporary to her. GOOD LUCK 8)

[bzborow1]

I agree with the previous poster 100%. It's obvious she's using you for your body. I know it's extremely flattering but you don't seem like the guy who's interested in that. If you ever want to have a chance at a relationship with her, and i'm not sure why at this point, you need to stand your ground. You sound like you are sacrificing your integrity at a "chance" she may tell you one day she wants more, I suggest you just tell her "no thanks, not anymore". Nothing more, nothing less.

 

This leads to another point, women whether they will admit to it or not, are intrigued by knowing less. Knowledge is power, and the less she knows about why you're doing what you're doing, as well as your intentions, will intrigue her more...as well as it telling her you're not a pushover and that you command respect. You teach people how to treat you.

[SadMan]

yes.......... what they've said are very true. I was in exactly what you are in but at the same time, she's back with her ex over seas. She wanted the same thing your gf did and I was weak. I chose the easy way out, do what she wanted. I know she was using me as a temp but she ment so much to me. Everyday I thought about it and a lot of times getting really mad because I know I am only a temp and took it out on her.

 

My point is that you have two choices.

 

1) Be her temp, have all the sex you can get for a period of time.

 

2) Just break off and leave.

 

Choice number 1 is what mostly likely you will pick, like most people, ME.

but you need to know that this will only be temp and you will have no future, like me.

 

Choice number 2, no more sex, u get respect and have a chance in the future with her.

 

Dont be weak like me. If I had to pick again, I think I would still pick one but thats just how my life is.

 

Everything had been layed out for you.

 

 

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Good choices are only made when you have experienced the bad choice.