I totally screwed up...

[I_KicKed_keNNedy]

Last week she dumped me. She had a few excuses (distance, different career paths, etc...) but it came down to the fact that she wanted to end things. I acted cool, and I said, "ah well, that's what has to happen," but I know deep down I felt I had been gouged pretty bad.

 

I know deep down I hurt because tonight, after a couple of glasses of wine, the first time I had seen her since we broke up... I lied to her about an affair that "sorta" happened.

 

Story: when I went to NY on business, I hung out with a girl and she was really cool. Nothing happened, she just showed me the sights and we hung out. The last night I was in NY I bought Yankees tickets and I got my GF to come out to see the game with me.

 

Tonight, when I was talking to her, she asked if there were any other skeletons in the closet and I told her a lie. I said I kissed the girl who showed me around NY and I bought the Yankees tickets because I felt bad about it. None of that happened, but I just told her that lie because I wanted to hurt her.

 

Well, it "worked". This is easily the one of the worst nights of my life. She was in tears about it. I asked "did it cheapen the Yankees tickets gift?" and she said it did, and I feel sick about it. Not just because I told her something that wasn't true, but because I didn't really want to hurt her this bad.

 

It is now Wednesday, and she will be going back to Hartford on Sunday morning, and I don't really know what her family plans this week...

 

I don't want to leave it like this. What do I do? I seriously messed up this time, what do I do? If I tell her that I made it up and it never really happened, she'll either not believe me or think I'm even more screwed up than she did before.... I have made such a mess of this.

[melrich]

Tell her you told a stupid lie. It's pretty excusable given the circumstance but the problem is she may not believe the lie was a lie.

[Hope75]

I think the damage may be done. Once you tell a lie like this and then try to take it back it's almost impossible. Now she will only think that you are trying to lie to cover up your first lie.

 

Sometimes we say and do stupid things. You were hurting and you wanted to hurt her. I hope that you know that this is wrong and that next time you will think twice before doing something similar.

[Shadows Light]

ugghhh... you wanna kick yourself don'tcha. Well call her and come clean for what its worth. You may as well clear your conscience. And see where the cards fall.

[Hawk]

Only thing to do is tell her the truth - anything else is just going to create more problems for you.

[Bethany]

I agree with Hawk, tell her the truth and your reasons for lying. Then take some time out and tell her that you need some time alone. Forgive yourself even if she doesn't.