Anyone else where I'm at?

[StandTall]

Like many of you on here, I have been having good days and bad days. I have a lot of anxiety with the approaching long weekend, and no one to spend it with. It has been over a month since I broke up with my ex, but she kinda forced me into pulling the trigger. Anyhow, I've reached the point in which I've told my story to anyone who would listen, been to counseling, and am taking meds. I feel very much in limbo- Maybe like I'm trying to reach a destination called happiness, and always wondering if I'm taking the right path. I'm working out quite a bit, and making plans with people I wouldn't ordinarily hang out with. Many times I feel like I'm just going through the motions to get through the day and make it pass. One of my friends told me that I seemed better which is good to hear, because I don't tend to notice that on my own. I don't want to find someone just to find them and complete me- I want to feel complete on my own. Any words of advice? Thanks, and have a great holiday.

[Bingo72]

I have been dealing with my break up for one week and a day. I guess I was the one that pretty much did the break up because I wanted marriage in our future. We've been together for two years and three months and he always talked about us getting married. Neither of us wanted kids, he's 35 and I'm 30. We were a good couple together. Driving to his place every night and spending a couple of hours was just not enough for me anymore. Neither of us have any kids, no major problems in our pasts so I didn't understand anymore why he didn't want to get married to me and start our own life. Having just a boyfriend wasn't going to be the end of my story. I wanted to know from him that I was a permanent fixture in his eyes but he just couldn't do it.

 

I'd like to know more about your story. I am feeling alot of different things right now and have highs and lows throughout the day, every day. I know it's been only a week for me but I seem to be doing okay I think. I just hope that something isn't going to come crashing down soon. I really think that the worst is over, those first three or four days.

 

I keep thinking that I will not find someone that fit me so well again. We got along in an incredible way and I guess that's what hurts so bad right now. I can't believe that he let me go so easy especially when he's the one that did all the planning for our future.

 

I am dreading this holiday weekend too. I'd rather it at least be a full work week but since it's not I can at least spend some good quality time at the gym too. Nothing like looking good when you feel so bad..

[eimono]

Yes, I'm very close to where you're at.

 

I too had to break it off with my ex. It's been two and half weeks. She broke NC last wed to get her coat back, but I've not talked to her or seen her since. It's very hard, but I try and force myself to do other things. We had plans for thanksgiving and it just makes it even harder.

 

I just came accross a great song today...

 

I keep forgetting (Every time you are near) by Michael McDonald.

 

A few choice lines:

"I keep forgettin things will never be the same again

I keep forgettin how you made that so clear"

 

and "But darlin I keep forgettin W're not in love anymore"

 

 

It's so hard to forget those bad things, and want the good ones back. And I want to find out how she is doing so bad. I want to hear her say those words I want to hear.

 

But really, the bottom line is we are over. And I have to find that happiness with myself and MY life. Not in someone else... I know that's where I need to get to, but don't know how to get there yet. I too have been involved with old friends and filling my time with things that I really don't want to do. But really, what I want is to be with her. And since that can't happen, nothing else will do. So why not just go through the motions now, as time goes on things will get better and I HOPE we will enjoy what is just fake now.

[StandTall]

They tell me "Fake it until you make it". It really does feel fake- You are pretending to no longer be interested in the other person, but it is not easy to fool yourself. I try to remember the hurt that was caused and then ask if I would want that again. I suppose I need to recognize the strides I've made towards happiness, and acknowledge them, even if they are small. I know I have been through worse. I only made contact once since we broke up, and I know that she won't even attempt to. I guess that is in my best interest as I don't need to be led on or don't want to know what she is up to. I really want to erase her from my memory. It hurts me that people are so cold.