seeing him married is going to really hurt

[Laura Ashley]

hey all,

 

I know I have been posting about a lot of things lately, but I have just had a really stressful time.

 

I have wrote a couple of times about a guy who is a teacher. (he has never taught me) I'm, just in the same block. Anyway he's getting married and I'm not sure when, btu the thought of it really hurts me. I really love him. I'm 17 now going to be 18 in January.

 

I now your suppose to be happy for the people you love, and I should be happy he's getting married but I can't be.

 

When he announced it I was just thrown in shock. I mean I got out the room as soon as I could and I just cried for ages in the staff toilets.

 

I know everything about him and he knows everything about me, we usually have long conversations about everything, films, music, lessons and sport, so the more I knew about him the more I loved him. I never made a move, I'd never do that while he's a teacher, but because he never mentioned having a girlfriend, i was sort of thinkiong of asking him out when I leave college for good in May.

 

I just don't know what to do. I felt so close to him and now I feel really hurt.

[arwen]

Hey girl,

 

It probably didn't enter his mind to share something this personal, because he is your teacher. He should be older than you, and the relationship between him and a student even if you are not in his class, is professional, which means with boundaries.

 

I think you will just have to forget about him. You are young and smart, you will have many possibilities to meet great men who are available for you to date. Don't give up.

 

Ilse.

[RayKay]

Hugs sweetie, unfortunately everyone experiences unrequited love it seems at some time or another. It hurts, but it does not sound like he held the same interest in you as you did in him.

 

I imagine he is also quite a bit older and in a different place then you, as well as the fact you do have a teacher-student relationship.

 

It's normal to fall for teachers and professors at some point or another - they are authorative, intelligent and can be there for us when others aren't sometimes. Unfortunately though, I think you fell more for what you think he was. While you knew a lot about his interests, you never really knew whom he was outside of that, or about his personal life. You may have known a lot about him, but not everything it seems, as probably he was also maintaining a teacher-student boundary. It probably never entered his mind you wanted more.

 

You are young, smart, and have a whole life ahead of you. It is best you move forward and see this as closure. There will be many more men you will meet in your life, some whom you click with, others you don't, whom will be as interested in you as you are in them and whom will reciprocate your love.

 

Good luck.

[Laura Ashley]

Thanks *hugs*

 

I suppose I should have expected him not too have feelings for me, I just really hoped he would.

 

The news just hit me hard and I just fell to pieces. I haven't felt right all week, I have cried myself to sleep, I haven't been eating as much, I don't feel like getting out bed in a morning and rushing to school to see my friends like I usually do, instead I want to lock myself in my room and just hide under my quilt.

 

I know I must seem dramatic, but I really like him, it's not a crush I have had plenty of those. I really love him. I could listen to him all day, I confide in him and when I had a lousy crappy day, seeing him smile actually puts a smile on my face.

 

I feel so lonely right now. I have never felt this alone. I have great friends who I can talk to and who can cheer me up, but sometimes you need someone closer than friends to take comfort in and I have no-one in my life like that.

 

It sucks knowing I want him and he has someone else. I feel like wrapping my arms around him,

 

I feel so sad

[natalia73]

Isn't it interesting how to women, when guy opens up it inspires feelings of connection. What is the guy thinking as he speaks? This still mystifies me - maybe men just spout off all kinds of stuff to anyone who will listen and we women eat it up with a spoon.

I think a lot of these problems would be solved if we could see the objects of our affection interacting with other women - maybe we'd see that they aren't treating us special at all.

[pineapple_juice]

I remember a time when I liked this girl for 3 or 4 years when I was in high school, and she suddenly started to date this really popular guy and I really felt hurt. I really understand how you feel because I went through the exact same thing as you, when I was 17 also.

 

Just remember there are lots and lots of other guys out there. When I left high school, I met so many wonderful girls who are 100 times better than the girl I liked in high school, in both thier personality and thier body...and many of them actually really liked me...

 

I am sure you will find lots of better guys...and someone who really loves you...its better to be loved than to love....