Confused...Why do people give up on a good thing?!?

[notherenowhere]

Hi,

 

I'm sure many of you go through this problem.

Why do people give up on a good thing?!? They didn't realize how lucky they were to have you. They don't make any sense. They threw away an opportunity. You had good qualifications, good looks, good living, good personality, and good background; there was nothing really wrong with you at all. Are these people looking for the perfect partner who has no flaws. If so, why can't they realize how unrealistic they are? Are they also naive? Immature? I wonder if they end up regretting their decision? Your thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

[chocos]

hi notherenowhere

 

Well, people are subjective. Some people think that the "grass is greener on the other side". And people do not learn that until they have lost something valuable. People learn from experience. However, when it comes to relationships, people do not want to admit that they have lost something very valuable, even though, after a while, they realise it.

 

All these are part and parcel of human beings. They are never contented, they never feel that it is enough. Why? I don't know. I want to know, but all i can do is to wait. Maybe i wasn't the perfect person i thought i was, maybe we were just not meant to be, maybe that other person was an even more perfect and flawless person, maybe......

[Genesis]

I agree with you, they do not know what they are missing , but Isee it this way. I know that I have a lot going for myself so I do not worry. I feel that if they could not see all the great things about me when they were with me and they leave , I did not need to be with them any way. I do not want to be with someone who thinks they can trade you in like a car when they see something that they think is better.

 

The funny thing that has always happened to me is by the time they relize what they have let go away, it is too late and I am no longer interested in them anymore. hey thats Karma for ya!

[cookies]

thats true..i have to agree with both of u guys on ur points there...

 

Sometimes when we hook up with a guy thats got so much class about himself,...he seem to have just everything in the world going 4 himself., almost sumtimes too good to be true. I agree, that we dont want to put so much of ourselves into a relationship, with a guy that easily falls in love with another chik after he s teps out the door.

 

He may have alot going 4 himself, but sumtimes a woman may walk away from what seems to be everything to avoid a heartbreak...or being left standing alone by a man thats undecisive about what he wants... If the signs are there...they should not be ignored...

 

It just turns out to haunt us when we misjudge a good man, for being less than deserving because we didnt s tick it out long enough to get to really know him..

 

cookies

[8minuteslate]

Isn't that weird though... It's like saying "I could LEARN to love her". I agree that the relationship should be priority, and that we should work at it. But I think you should also know when the two of you may not be right as a couple.

 

Digressing slightly from that point, what happens when you're in a relationship, and the other person is SO sure that you're the one for her, but you're still unsure. You tell her. She knows this. But she gets frustrated and upset at you every other day because you can't return her feelings as strongly. What then? Do you fake it? Do you back off?

 

I don't know... perhaps regretting that you didn't try would be better than trying, but not meaning it.

[chocos]

Do not tell her that she is not the one... because that would break her heart. Instead, i would suggest would be to think for yourself, if you picture her in your future, or do you see a future with her together. If you do, Make it work. If you don't, leave her. Better now than later when she has invested more in the relationship with her heart and soul...

[dazn]

Yeah before me and my loved one broke up, I always kinda wondered how it would be if I were to be single and if I were the one that broke up. Now I finally understand that I had no reason to want to break up and I would never wish this pain of loneliness on her even though she has done so to me. I still love her but I am slowly trying to let her go and recover. It is hard but it can be achieved.

[chocos]

Yes, i am exactly like you. I wondered, but i didn't do it. He left me, for some other chick who told him that he wouldn't be happy with me.

I still love him and care for him. But i do it from a distance. I do it through people i know who would not betray my trust. I am letting go and recovering, but i would never be the same person again

[Genesis]

Why would you want to be with a man who can not think for himself, he sounds like a puppet?

 

His new girlfriend will string him along until she gets bored with him.

 

HE also cheated and left you, I feel that cheating for me is not something that I can forgive.

[chocos]

I know what you mean. I know that people have been telling me...

 

But i don't know why deep within me, i don't hate him. I wish i could, but i can't. I still love him and still care for him. Must be very silly of me, but i really don't know why.

[loner82]

I feel relieved knowing you feel the same way........

 

Except I am ashamed that I still love my ex, even after he cheated and dumped me for her.

 

But it baffles me that he doesn't care that while she was sleeping with him she was still with her boyfriend.....and from what I heard it took her a while to break up with the other boyfriend. I never cheated on my ex and he would always tell me that girls that mess around with guys are wh*r*s or sl*ts.

 

I guess he just said that to make me feel like he would never hurt me. I know he will always be happy with that girl....it hurts cause he won't ever regret hurting me like he did. Oh well...life is not fair.