Need advice regarding way to break up the right way and what to tell!!!!!!!

[Needy_to_go]

Hey, guess it's a big time party here. Well short story: 4 year relation with b/f and well I've been stress and yea lots of exams also, yes there've been issues, but none of it has to do with cheating, he never once cheated on me nor did I so far, nope. And well there was one time I was so stresses out, was doing to crack and well I told my b/f's cousin about it, he was there to confort me and well this was around 3 1/2 months ago. There was nothing going on, he's just like that, he tends to confort people when they got problems. But see then I think we have started to develop feelings, well he admited it 5 weeks ago. And well thing is I think I'm started or have already fallen in love with him. And yes, yes, I still love my b/f. His cuz and me talked on the phone at times but thats it, though we do talked in a real flirty way, as one would say to a lover, something like that. So I can't be doing this, I know it might prollie lead further, I feel it's going to, wanna break up. Yes this week I have told my b/f about breaking up, he doesn't reallly know the reason (me falling in love with his cuz) and well he's not one bit happy about it, since he beg and beg to stay, fine, but I really wanna split before I get involved further with his cuz, haven't cheated yet and don't want to. Any way I can convince my b/f to break up with me. Yes the bad thing is I still love him, but oh well. So then when I break up then I can be with his cuz. So wut do I tell my b/f, I can't tell "oh i wanna break up cuz I fell in love iwth ur cuz, I can't say that. Any other good reason I can tell him for breaking, any suggestion, he's not going for it.

[AC874]

How old are you?

 

You would break-up with somebody who you love, and has treated you well for 4 years... so you can satisfy your quench for adventure?

 

I feel bad for your boyfriend.

[Needy_to_go]

I'm 19 and no, it's not for pleasure, it's emotions I got for his cuz, I've fallen in love withn him ever since that day we had a long talk and he admitted his feelings too, before I did. And AC isn't it better to break up if u wanna be someone else than cheating?

[WyseOne]

Is this a sick joke?

 

Yes is it better to breakup than cheat but is it really any different than breaking up to cheat? What is wrong with your boyfriend after 4 years to make you want to cheat? Yes I feel bad for her boyfriends as well, this is sad.

 

If this is the way you are thinking do your boyfriend a huge favor and leave him for his own well being and stay away from the cousin. it will never work. If his cousin ever decided to be with you he is just as sick as you.

[AC874]

Seriously..

 

You love your current bf. He's is good to you.. dont ruin 4 years for some "mysterious feeling" you have for HIS COUSIN.

 

Cmon girl... wake up. The grass is never greener on the other side, and your going to realize one day that youve made a HUGE mistake.

[Jut]

Ill add what no one else did. After your ex finds out certainly his friendship with his cousin is over. Actually no one ever would want such a cousin.

How about your current bf meeting up with your cousin and then breaking up with you for her?

 

You are too young to sort out your feelings and i know you will do what you like. Hope it turns out good.

[dawn_dawn66]

Tell him that and break up, period. Just tell him wut ur saying on ur post, see how brave u are. Then when you regret it and want him back, he might already be dating someone else.

[Shadows Light]

No.. you don't love your BF of 4 years. Not really. So just be a grown up and tell him.. I'm sorry, I just don't love you. I don't want to be with you. Its not fair to you staying with you if I don't love you.

 

The cousin... uggghhh... you are playing too close to home GF. And you are going to get left out in the cold. Blood is thicker than water.. and family always sticks together.

 

If I were you.. I'd just move on and get my head straight.

[Vanilla]

God, for the love of God NOOOOO. Break up with your boyfriend if you REALLY have to see what is out there- but please don't ever mess with families.

 

That is by far the worst thing you can do. Cousins can be like brothers sometimes- I know this. They are your friends, and related to you. Do you know how much you would hurt him?

 

Do the past 4 years mean nothing to you?

 

All I can emphasize here is on -R E S P E C T

 

Doing what you have intentions of doing is the most disrespectful thing and complete slap on the face after 4 yrs together ...sorry just my opinion!!!

[Rabican]

No.. you don't love your BF of 4 years. Not really. So just be a grown up and tell him.. I'm sorry, I just don't love you. I don't want to be with you. Its not fair to you staying with you if I don't love you.

 

The cousin... uggghhh... you are playing too close to home GF. And you are going to get left out in the cold. Blood is thicker than water.. and family always sticks together.

 

If I were you.. I'd just move on and get my head straight.

 

+1

And I will add... If you managed to fall in love with another man... your mans cousin I might add... while you are WITH YOUR BF.. then you DO NOT LOVE HIM. Aaaagghhhh! You just took a huge crap on his heart woman... dont you see that? Be a man (figuratively) and just tell him how it is. say "i dont love you, i fell in love with your cousin" Hopefully he will allow you to collect your things from his place before he tosses you to the curb where you belong.

[Lonelyinasmalltown]

Any way I can convince my b/f to break up with me.

 

That's what caught my eye. You want to leave your boyfriend for his cousin but you want your boyfriend to be the one to break up with you? Am I the only one who thinks that's a little immature?

 

No Judging, if you don't want to be with your boyfriend then just end it. Keep in mind that you will destroy his relationship with his cousin and probably be throwing salt in his wound over the breakup. It's bad enough to get broken up with someone after 4 years, but to have her go to your cousin. I honestly really do feel sorry for your boyfriend. I'm sure he'll think you never cared for him ever if you leave him for his cousin. I don't know about you but I wouldn't want that hanging in my concience. It will just poison your new relationship.

 

Break up with your boyfriend. He deserves to find a woman who will treat him well and not go looking around behind his back for something "better". If I were you though, I wouldn't go after his cousin. I'm sure you're not a cruel person and quite honestly, how many relationships do you know that lasted when one person immediately leaves a relationship for another? Take some time to figure out what you want, especially since what you want seems to change so fast.

 

I think you'll find though that the grass is definatly not always greener on the other side.

[ratherbesailing]

Needy to go -

 

I'd suggest you just tell him that you don't love him the way you think you should and end it soon. Don't waiver or he'll get the wrong idea and think there is hope to stay together.

 

As someone else said, you shouldn't jump right into another relationship after being in one for four years. Take some time to be single, you've been part of a couple since you were 15. See if some other guys don't catch your interest in the next couple of months when they all learn you are available.

 

His cousin is off limits at least for a year, better forever. You would be hurting his cousin as much as your ex and yourself if you come between them. Please don't do it!

[Needy_to_go]

Ok I broke up with my b/f just today about 3 hours ago, no, he didn't like it one bit. He kept saying "Why are u doing this to me, wut happened", I told him I needed space and about lots of exams I gotta study". He was kinda devasted, then at one point he say "Did u fall in love with another guy, r u dumping me". Off course I had to say no to that question, but he wans't convince. Then he was like "Ok fine, but we can work it ok, I love you, so if you wanna come around, do so, I'll be waiting". I end up telling him that I love him but that I needed space and call it a break. No, this wans't easy for me, but it's better than going behind his back and hurting him. And yea ratherbesailing, maybe I'll go single for a while, that would be a better chose.

[babycristy456]

The truth is that although his cousin has feelings for you, along the line somewhere he is going to say.."this is messed up," and you will not only lose a bf of 4 years but not get a relationship with the cousin...and what would the family think.

 

I think you should just let your poor boyfriend go and let him find a nice girl who will appreciate him and not mess around with family members. You know what, my boyfriend's step brother is HOT...and yes I have a crush on him. I personally think he has one on me too by the way hes very nice to me etc etc....but i have NEVER and never will react on it. I have never talked to him in private or called him or developed feelings for him or told him that I think he cute. Why? because I respect my boyfriend and I will never trade something so good for "a crush". If I ever decide that I am in love with this step brother, I will be too ashamed of myself to stay with my boyfriend and I will never let either of them know.

 

Although they are not blood brothers by birth, they are by heart. and that is thicker than anything...so be smart and don't make stupid mistakes.

 

If you are sure you are in love with this other guy, you need to let your boyfriend go.