Getting stuff back during NC?

[bsp_kjm]

Even though my gf says we are still together but just on a break, I already know that it isnt going to work out. I've had NC with her since Saturday, but I want to get my stuff back from her house and I want to give back her stuff that was left at my house. We dont have a mutual friend that we could have be the "delivery boy" so thats outta the question. I was thinking of taking all her stuff to her house while she is not there (up at school or something) then asking her sisters to let me look for my stuff while they watch so I dont get accused of taking anything that is not mine.

 

Another prob is that she has some of my stuff at her dorm at her school that she would only be able to bring down next weekend. She also owes my parents a large sum of money. Should I break NC by emailing her next week before she comes down asking her to bring my stuff and we can meet up to make the exchange or should I let her contact me about exchanging the items? I just feel that if maybe I can get a chance to see her in person with the notion of exchanging items, I can also get some closure along with my stuff.

 

What do u all think?

 

appreciate your time.

[redandblack]

If you're on a 'break' why do you need to get your stuff back? You do know that by getting your stuff back you're closing the door, right?

 

If you are going to break up with her, just ask her to put the stuff out on the porch and pick it up from there. You can leave her stuff there, too. Either way you're going to have to communicate with her a little to get your stuff back. Keep it short and emotionless if you have to, but still be civil.

[heloladies21]

All the stuff she has of yours can be replaced. Seeing her again would put you back and not give you the closure you're looking for. You get closure when you decide to move on. You and your ex are broken up for sure and as she is a liar nothing can be done to fix the situation. Stay in NC, start talking to other girls. It will help you progress.

[Da5id]

Heloladies is totally right... none of the stuff she has of yours is anything you can't live without.

 

Even if it's your favorite shirt, or your most expensive bottle of cologne... getting the stuff back is just an excuse to see her and an open door to more pain.

[Bethany]

You have to talk to her and tell her how you feel first before you go rushing in to remove your stuff. Be fair on her, she doesn't know what's on your mind.

And if you really need to get your stuff back quickly for closure, then do it after you have talked. Arrange for her to pack it up for you so you won't have to stay long so you can make it as painless as possible, or preferably pick it up when she is out. Not an easy time for either of you. Good Luck.

[bsp_kjm]

thanks for the replies guys, but the only stuff i really want from her are a quilt my mom lent her thats been in our family for a couple generations and the big chunk of $$$ she owes my parents. Id also like to get my car and house keys from her. Clothes and the such dont matter to me. Maybe I'll just keep the NC going until she contacts me about exchanging the items.

 

Id also like to say goodbye to her family, they were very cool and Id feel wrong not being able to say goodbye and thanks to them. I know its weak but they were a part of my life for 3 years...