Was I sick, crazy as a kid, cuz I dunno why I would do those things?

[lostinparadise96]

Ok so I'm not a kid no more, now I'm about to turn 19 but I don't understand happened to me when I was a kid, I had no or hardly any conscious at all, so I wouldn't distinguish right from wrong, it was like everything I would do was excited back then up until age 15. If well back then if anyone were to cross my path, then I would get these violent urges, guess I was violent by nature. Well thing is when I first leraned just recently wut psychos or sociopaths are I got frak out cuz that was me as a kid until 15. Basically my folks would tell me that I was kinda different, cuz even at 2 if I would fall down or get hurt, I wouldn't cry or if some kid hit me, I would always fight back. Yea I remember my first fight, it was with some boy who I beat up, we were both 9. Or whenever kids played at the playground I had weird urges of hurting them, me being a kid myself and yea teachers had to supervise me before i started huting somebody. Now I keep hearing some people that girls get emotional and cry a lot more, but not me, I hardly ever did, instead I tended to get angry and hurt things also. I dunno why I use to think it was fun. Yes I have killed all my aunt and uncle's pets, basically stab them all, and yea also some neighbor's cat also at 9 (she doens't know though, but yea I did felt like telling). Then yea one time at 10, I also try pushing one of my cuz downstairs, I hated him, though he never done anything to me then I use to write really bad things on a journal I had, like I would start talking good things about them the Halocause and how they desreved it and good things about Hitler, I dunno why. Now yall must be wondering how I recovered from all this.

I dunno how, I just woke up one day, was 15 back then and all of the sudden I was a different personand suddenly these emotions started coming, then I began not feeling that good about wut I have done, I can't understand this sudden change. So yea now I do realize that was wrong, but why coudln't I back then, was a lost kid or an evil child.

 

And one more thing I'm concern is I'll be a mother one of these days and wut if my kid starts doing those same bad things I would do or how about when I have to explain that to him/her someday.

[PersonalMe]

that behaviour usually comes from some kind of sititution, im no psicologist, but i assume that thosse kinds of behaviours dont just show up out of nowhere, they have some sort of roots, maybe when u were a TINY child, 1-2 years old, something happened to u or someone did somehting to u, and u just dont rememeber, but that still stays in your brain, and eveyrthing that gets in your way, u resolve it with violence, because of that incident, all i can say is im glad u realised that that was wrong and stopped doing it, if nothing happened to u, then maybe it was just a reaction from watching violent films, or things like that, something had to provoke it, im pretty positive u werent just BORN a violent child. i say just try to forget about it and be glad ur over that fase

Concerning your soon to be motherhood, as i said before, im no psicologist but i DOUBT that ppl r just BORN that way, they have to have some sort of stimulant to make them feel that anger, so i say just be very careful with ur child, no violent films, no being aggressive with anyone, dont let him/her SEE any aggressiveness, remember that kids abosorb information like a sponge! so anything u do or dont do will influence them. just act as any precautious parent would do, and im absolutely sure u and your child will be fine!! good luck!!

[Kamue]

lots of kids act violently when they are young. sometimes they just dont understand what they are doing. they think that hurting something will slove thier problems. perhaps you hurt animals and kids because subconsciencly you wanted the attention or maybe because you liked the power. its really not unusual for a child to be violent. sometimes that kid has something to say and cant think of a better way to explain him or herself.

i wouldnt worry about any of your children. at a young age, teach them to talk about anything thats on thier mind. anything. perhaps then they wont have any violent urges or tendencies.

[NR498E]

im 25 and i was alot like you.while i never killed any pets i was pretty violent.i got in alot of fights and alot of trouble.i often almost felt guilty that i didnt feel guilty about stuff.i think you know what i mean.i started to mellow out around 18 as well.today im cool as a fan.i have a friend that was like you as well and he was into killing pets and stuff like that hes mellow and average today as well.However let me tell you i finally started to develop a consious around 21 and im now very guilt ridden about stuff i did when i was a teenager.somethings i hadnt thought much about now haunt me everyday.